America’s Next Top Model All-Stars – Finale In 500 Words Or Less

ANTM All-Star Season Winner, Lisa D'Amato

OK, I know I fell off the map with my ANTM recaps, but I felt like I was starting to sound like a broken record.  I mean how many times can you hear me say that I can’t stand Shannon?  But there’s no way I could leave you high & dry on the finale.  I love that they went to Greece and the scenery put me into a semi-dream state each week remembering the awesomeness that was celebrating my 30th birthday there… which was, um, last year, of course.  Ahem… Anyway, we’re not here to talk about my age.  We’re here to judge the judging.

While I celebrated Shannon and her hypocrisy getting eliminated, I was less happy to see Laura and (surprisingly) Dominique go. I was also pissed that Angelea was still hanging around after sucking so bad for a solid 4 weeks, but I have to give it to her for, as André put it, rising from the ashes like a Phoenix the last two weeks.  So needless to say, I was a bit taken aback when she was disqualified from the competition.  Way to leave us hanging, Tyra, with exactly zero explanation. You can’t drop that on us and then expect us to go gently into the night.  Oh hell no, we won’t go.  We want answers!  I have scoured the Internet and there is no confirmed explanation for it.  There were rumors about her announcing that she was the winner early, but that’s been shot down.  Lord can only imagine what it is knowing how prone to explosions she is.  It’s a shame too, because I thought she was the best in the Cover Girl shoot, commercial and on the runway.  She really upped the ante in the final stretch.   The fact that she can’t swim and got in the water anyhow is impressive.  But that’s neither here nor there since it’s down to Lisa and Allison.

I’m not sure this is my favorite final two ever.  I like Allison, but she really is kinda boring and if this season is about the whole package, she fails.  Lisa is definitely the whole package, but she isn’t exactly fresh-faced.  I mean wasn’t she criticized on her season for looking old?  Unless she found a time machine, I’m pretty sure she didn’t get younger.  I mean I think she is pretty and she takes great photos, but really is she the greatest of all the didn’t-wins from seasons past?  Well, I guess the judges thinks so since she beat out Allison for the crown.  I don’t feel particularly passionate about the finale one way or the other.  I really wasn’t rooting hard for anyone this season so this gets a big “So that happened” from me.  Now, would someone just let Angelea speak?

Before I go though, I would like to wish André a bon voyage as this was his last season.  I’ll miss you and the drekitude!

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