One Sentence Summary: It’s time for Kim’s Baby Shower and all are excited… Well, all but Nene who will be at home counting her money.
Melissa: Looks like there’s going to be a throw down at Kim’s baby shower. I would love to know what set off Apollo and Peter because it’s pretty much a news flash to anyone watching the show! Oh well, slap me on the ass and call me tickled for a man fight. Please don’t disappoint me boys. I don’t want any screeching or windmill arms from either of you!! Don’t make Kroy go all linebacker or wide receiver on you! OK fine, I have no idea what he does other than fund Kim. But don’t piss him off, I’m thinking he can do some damage… and we know he keeps a gun safe next to the bed.
Rachel: I wonder if the ubiquitous “Housewife Fight At Formal Event” tonight at Kim’s shower will include any table flipping or male crying? It’s getting so trite. Next think you’re gonna tell me is that the ladies are going to go on an overseas vacation where hijinks will ensue…
There’s No Place Like Home
Melissa: Hmmm… Clearly with the “S” monogram over the front door, Sheree’s future buying pool might be a bit limited.
Rachel: Again I ask, “How much do these reality shows pay????” Last I recall hearing, Sheree was broke and her ex wasn’t giving her jackity jack in the form of support payments. So, either Bravo is the most generous network in the history of reality TV (Well, after E! gave Kim K. $10MM to be married for 72 days) or Sheree and Nene are the world’s most amazing bullshitters. Chateau Sheree? Really?
Melissa: I am SO out of the loop, I never heard Apollo was stopped then pulled from the car with a pistol to his head? <head scratch> Oh, case of mistaken identity it seems, or that’s the excuse Phaedra might be passing around.
Rachel: Damn, that’s a cute baby. Seriously, I’d be spoiling him too. And we know I love Phaedra so I’m gonna trust that it was mistaken identity…. For now.
Honey, I’m Home!
Rachel: Ooh I like me that Leon. He has aged well since his Band of The Hand days. BTW, if you have never seen this particular movie, it’s a must-see. Now, I’m not saying it’s a good movie. It’s more of a “it’s so bad it’s good” movie. And it’s so incredibly 80’s that it’s just a good time seeing all the bad fashion and block glass. So, we hear that Peter wants another club because he’s “good at it.” Really? Um, methinks your last venture wasn’t you being so much good at it. But neither he nor Cynthia seem to remember that. And I guess Cynthia & Peter are none too happy with Cynthia’s mom & sister since they saw the footage of them conspiring to not get the marriage certificate last season. Oh yeah, that camera thing will give away your shady doings. But Peter, you may want to listen to Leon and get it straight with Cynthia’s family. The I don’t give a flying head nod isn’t your best course of action.
Melissa: I don’t understand this scenario with Cynthia, Peter and Leon, but we get the details about Peter and Cynthia’s new bar venture and the family drama with Cynthia’s family and Peter… and set the stage for future drama. A bonus shout out to my partner for picking up Leon from Band of the Hand – a movie that I believe only the two of us actually saw.
The Sacrifices We Make For Love
Rachel: I am dying… DYING to see what’s going on underneath that wig of Kim’s. Seriously, does she pull it off and it’s a scene out of Melrose Place when Kimberly came back from the dead? And who has a baby shower for 120 people? Especially for a third child? Ok, here we go again with used houses. What planet do you people live on that you don’t like “used” houses? I mean I expect that stupidity from Teresa (RHONJ) but not from… OK, well you too. Morons.
Well That’s Just Kinda Sad
Melissa: NeNe’s son Brent is off to Gregg’s and not having a good time with it, poor kid wants his parents together. You have to feel for some of these kids having their family dirt dragged out for all their friends to see.
Rachel: Does NeNe’s son really have LV luggage? I know that’s besides the point but… Really? So, you know I’m on a NeNe tear this season (All two weeks of it), but I’m happy to see her sit down with her son and talk to thim about what’s going on with Greg & her. So far these ladies are getting high marks on the mommy-ing this season, which is a pleasant surprise since the rest of their behavior isn’t exactly pious. Cannot say the same for the other Housewife locales; minus Caroline who is the Queen of all reality mommies.
Kiss My Peter
Melissa: Yes Phaedra, you did just talk about nipple cream on national television. Best get that holy oil for the lusty spirits! I’m sorry. I’m completely distracted now. Really, was that a necessary comment?? Ah ha… Now we hear the dirt! Peter doesn’t like Phaedra and went to the press with his thoughts about all the ladies. Again, how did I miss this? Well now I think we know what starts the little confrontation with he and Apollo.
Rachel: Ok, too many incidents that I missed. So, let me hit pause and head on over to YouTube and see what I can find on Apollo’s arrest and let me also look up this Uptown magazine article that Peter gave… Hold please…
Well, so I wasn’t able to find out much about the arrest other than he was mistakenly handcuffed… Not sure how that happens. But I did find out that Apollo and I share a very special date. Seems he was released from prison on the same day I was released from my mother’s womb. Clearly not the same year but an auspicious day nonetheless. As for the Peter article… Uh, you probably ought to read it yourself (Click here to go to the article). It’s quite an interesting read. He definitely is missing that filter between his brain and his mouth. Let me just say that if my husband spoke about me and about women like that, he’d not be my husband for long. Jack. Ass. Bwahaha… I love that Phaedra says that she didn’t know Peter has a “Village of children”. OMG… I love it. And she just called him Papa Smurf and Uncle Ben. Oh damn, that’s good. He DOES look like Uncle Ben.
It’s About To Get Real Up In Here
Melissa: Stop the F-ing bus… did anyone else see that family portrait at the shower? Kim all sorts of preggers with the titty wrap top – WTF?? (Apologies to my partner as I know she cringes when I use “titties”.) What a sweet speech from Brielle. Hope these crazy kids make it. Oh, so we see Phaedra is the one who opts to start the shit with Peter over the article. Fast forward through lots of chest puffing and “bring its”… And, nothing. I’m really not sure what the hell the point was of all of that pomp and posing.
Rachel: I’m more concerned with what Kroy is wearing in the top photo. WTF is that about? No. No no no. And once again, I profess my love for Phaedra for calling Kim out for calling her out for going over the top for her baby shower. Again, this is why the majority of us are happy to live our life without all the stupid shit we say being recorded for posterity. Uh, I think Kim’s daughter might need some therapy… I’m not on the “Aw, that was sweet.” tip over here. I found that speech to be awkward and sad. She called her mom “knocked up” and let everyone know that her father is absent in her life. That was more of a confession than a toast. And it’s a five-hour shower with a cake-cutting? Tack-tastic.
Oh boy… Here we go. Yes, Phaedra picked the scab. But Peter grabbed ahold of that wound and poured a gang of salt in there. Wow, that Peter has a stupid mouth. Did he think he could sit next to a man whose wife he insulted and play Mr. Cool? Yeah, no. I think he was hoping Apollo was still on probation and wouldn’t throw a punch. Instead he lucked out when Apollo chose to walk away. New Jersey cast, take note.
Because We Can’t Unsee It…
Melissa: Maybe I shouldn’t have threatened that I didn’t want to see arm windmills… at least it would have been something to watch.
Rachel: Well, Nene found a heart this week… Apollo found some courage in walking away from a fight… Brielle & Brentt said that there’s no place like home… If only someone had found a brain, we’d have a modern day Wizard of Oz!