Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – Week 11: Tempest In A Tea Party

One Sentence Summary:  A ladylike tea party turns into a “to the mat” intervention for Taylor. 

On second thought, this blouse might have been a bad idea.

Our Thoughts:

Melissa:  Well tonight is the night finally we’re going to hear how the ladies have covered for Taylor / Russell.  I’m going to call it now – this will end in tears and supportive hugs.  Oh and at some point I’m sure I’ll be on my soapbox – I got it out just in case.  Forewarned is fair-warned my friends.

Rachel:  Yes, it does look like it’s about to get real with the Taylor situation.  I find it so interesting that no one has really confronted her about it yet.  If I thought for one second that a dear friend… or even sorta friend… was being abused, there would be nothing that I wouldn’t do to help her and get her into a safe situation.  That being said, the lack of action makes me think that they don’t really think there is abuse going on.  Say what you want about most of these women, but even they wouldn’t leave someone in harms way and turn a blind eye.  Would they?  Well, at least I hope not. 

Not A Warm Welcome

Kyle finally sucks it up, goes into the house and meets Ken. She sees the wedding band and asks him why he's wearing it. He says it's just a promise ring and Kim insists they're not married or engaged. Kyle uses an allergy to the dog to leave the room and cry some more before she leaves all-together. Not the warmest welcome ever. SIster Kyle is suspicious about Ken and not sure she trusts him after talking to Kim's kids.

Rachel:  And we jump right back into it with Kim and her self-absorbed sister Kyle.  You can actually see Kyle looking for something to have a fit about all over her face.  Hmmm… The rings!  No, they’re not married so that’s not it.  It’s just a promise ring.  Do we believe that one peeps?  Not sure I’m buying it.  Kyle is so not buying it either.  Hey guess what?  Kyle doesn’t like Ken.  What a shocking surprise.  And it’s because Kim’s kids say he’s controlling.  Wait, if you didn’t know about Ken then how are Kim’s kids telling you about him?  I smell a rat.  Where’s the continuity supervisor?  I have some questions I’d like answered.

Melissa:  Hello awkward moment… “Is that a wedding band?” Why is Kyle crying in the kitchen?  BE HAPPY FOR YOUR SISTER!  Anyone else find it a little odd she thinks Ken is controlling?  Hello pot!

Birthday Bickering

Paul and Adrienne head to Crustacean in Beverly Hills for a little birthday dinner for Paul. After the requisite bickering over what to order, the conversation turns to Taylor and her abuse accusations. Adrienne isn't sure she believes it and Paul is firmly in the "It never happened" camp.

Rachel:  Oh Crustacean is such a good restaurant.  I’m so jealous and this is making me miss LA.  The kitchen there has a private room where the owner cooks by herself so no one can steal the recipes.  How much do you love that?  Adrienne and Paul bicker about her not liking crab.  I’m assuming we’re still talking about the food.  Adrienne says she’s really concerned about Taylor, but from what she knows about Russell, she can’t picture him being abusive.  They’re not sure if they’re buying the stories, but they’re not sure they’re not buying it.  They find the whole thing very confusing.  As do we all.  Ok, as much as the two of them bicker, I really think they have a good marriage.  And I’m thinking that the rumor that Melissa and I heard back in the day about Adrienne crying about her marriage at an industry event was really Taylor.  See how rumors get started… Guilty as charged.

Melissa:  Another opportunity to talk about Taylor and what she may have told the ladies about her relationship.  I actually think it’s funny their marriage; there are eye rolls and snarky comments and at the end of the day I think they are just a normal married couple that has the ability to completely stomp on each others nerves… Ah, I feel so normal!

If I’m Not Happy, No One’s Happy

Mauricio comes home high off of a big sale just in time to have that buzz killed by Kyle's whining. She is still unhappy about Kim's happiness and doesn't know what to do about it.

Rachel:  Ah so the Paris premiere where they met Ken was only a few nights ago.  Well, thank you for spoon feeding us the pieces one by one, Bravo.  But this isn’t Kyle’s vision for Kim so it must be wrong.  Jesus woman!  For one minute, view the world from someone else’s perspective.  And thank you, Mauricio for reminding Kyle that’s it’s not her life.  Kyle agrees and just says she’ll have to ignore Ken because that’s what her mom would have done.  That’s the only thing she knows.  Ah family traditions.  Now, there’s something to pass down from generation to generation.  That there is a level of self-righteousness even I can’t fathom.  What a snatch.  Yeah, I said it.

Melissa:  Kyle has decided Kim is settling, so her approach is to just not acknowledge the situation – good job there acting like an adult – crazy.

Your RSVP Is “No”

Taylor has been nominated for an award for her work as Chief Creative Director for an online beauty site. All the girls are on-hand to cheer her on. Well, all except Lisa who was purposely not invited since she isn't Taylor's friend. Really? I hadn't heard that. Neither had Lisa until Kyle accidentally spilled the beans. Whoops.

Rachel:  So we see that Russell is proud of Taylor and wants to put her framed nomination in his office.  They’re really not making him look like a monster, if he indeed was.  Wait, and she has a job as a CCD?  Then WTF is she crying about not being able to leave Russell because she’s afraid of being poor??? So, she’s really afraid of being unable to spend $60k on a birthday party for a toddler and not so much about being able to feed her kid. {{{Shaking My Head}}}  Seems Lisa hasn’t been invited either.  Oh the silliness of petty women.  See now no one would have to worry about saying something out of turn if Taylor had just stood up for herself in the first place.  This is why you don’t play mean girls behind people’s backs.  So Taylor, it’s cool to show up to Lisa’s daughter’s engagement party because you don’t want to miss a party but you don’t want her at your event because it’s an important day and you want to be surrounded by friends???  I guess an engagement party for your daughter wouldn’t be a special occasion to be shared with loved ones.  And shut up, Dana.  You are just happy Lisa isn’t invited because it’s more airtime for you and you’re stupidity.

Melissa:  Did anyone else scratch their head with the Russell / Taylor scene?  Um, he seemed pretty sweet and supportive – even cracked a joke.  Clearly I’m missing something because that little interaction seemed… Well, normal.  Oh snub – Taylor didn’t invite her “bestie” Lisa to her award lunch.  Hee hee, take that mean girl (I do ADORE the adult behavior of the Housewives)!  Of course we all know Lisa will get her revenge… mwahahaha!

How Do You Take Your Tea?  Bitter.

Lisa is having a tea at her home. She invites all the girls including Taylor, who of course will show up, so as to not stoop to her petty level. As assumed, Taylor shows up, and when Lisa confronts her about not being invited to the luncheon, Taylor goes off the rails. She oscillates from telling Lisa she's an awful person and makes her feel badly all the time to crying about wanting to be her friend. It's like Sybil has tea. Lisa tries to explain herself but can't get a word in edgewise and just apologizes over and over. Taylor doesn't care to accept the apology because she hasn't thrown everyone under the bus as a "Lisa Hater" yet. Pissed that no one is getting her back, she storms out.

Rachel: Well, the tea service is quite lovely and the desserts look delicious. I hope she invited Dana so she can see how you actually serve desserts.  And who doesn’t love a tea that includes champagne.  I also have to say that it’s very interesting to me how sympathetic I am to Camille after how horrid she was last season.  I knew Taylor would show up.  Oh, the hypocrisy is unreal.  She is so transparently selfish and shallow.  Again, an interesting note… Camillle is sympathetic and Taylor is a jackass.  My how the tables have turned.  I’m really so glad Lisa called her out.  Oh someone please stop Taylor already with the “you’re not my friend” shit.  SHE DIDN’T SAY IT!!!  Oh she’s so ridiculous.  Lisa is the only adult in the room.  Don’t bother apologizing anymore, Lisa.  She’s not listening.  When someone apologizes, accept it or don’t.  Move on or don’t.  Some people just like to play the victim and scream and fight.  My head is spinning.  Wow, Taylor’s getting nasty and throwing everyone into the fire.    So everyone talks behind everyone’s back but only Taylor can be hurt about it?  Seems fair.

Melissa:  Tea Party Time!  Wait a minute, did she just put the dog in a stroller??  Oh, the little awkward moments it seem keep growing.  I’m uncomfortable and I’m not even in that room.  I do like the Bravo use of the rewind to validate points… It’s like the Housewives version of the instant replay.  Love it!  I do hate watching this, I can’t even imagine how it must feel for the rest of the ladies to be there.  Oh, and the tears… Come on someone! Supportive hug?  Give a girl a hug and make my prediction come true!!  I don’t want to be mean, but damn Taylor is an ugly crier!  Hey now, way to turn the tables and drag all the women in… Be careful Miss Taylor.  When you dance in the vipers nest, they might decide to bite.

Intervention Take 1

After Taylor walks out, the conversation turns to how confused they all are by the stories she tells about her marriage. One day she's being abused and leaving, then the next she's jetting off in bliss for a holiday with Russell. When Taylor comes back in to tell Adrienne that Paul is outside, she thinks she's about to go into Round 2 of Lisa-bashing. Surprise! It's an intervention about her marriage! Clearly, this is not how she wanted the tables to turn and she starts pushing back, which causes Kyle & Camille to get in her face with some of that truth she's demanding from everyone. Never has afternoon tea been so rough and tumble.

Rachel:  So here’s the bottom line for me.  If Russell was harming Taylor in any way, there is zero tolerance and zero excuse for it.  I get that women have a hard time leaving but this seems so contrived.  I know we see the little bits and pieces that Bravo shows us, but Taylor is really unhinged and off the charts bananas.  She’s created quite the fantasy life for herself as the poor little victim that I’m not sure what’s real and what’s for attention.  I mean she spends so much time crying about her insecurities and her marriage and her life, yet no one is allowed to discuss it?  If you don’t want people to talk about it then stop talking TO THEM about it.  Idiot.  Well, here are words I never though I’d say but “Go Camille!”

Melissa:  Um, what’s up with Taylor and Paul talking through the gate?  Sorry, it was terribly distracting to me, apologies for my side bar.  I’m with my partner on this one… I’m not getting what is real and what is drama.  That being said (I warned you)… If she is truly in an abusive situation, being someone’s FRIEND is not hiding the fact that they tell you their spouse hits them.  You do not pretend it is not happening, and you do not sit quietly by.  As a friend you need to tell them they need to get the F out of the house and to someplace safe.

Bottom Line:

Rachel:  Well the shit has hit the fan and it’s getting ugly up in here.  And next we get to see the shit hit the ranch at Kennedy’s 5th birthday party.  Maybe someone will get thrown Dynasty-style into the $2,000 birthday cake.  Now, that would be a party.

Melissa:  Just when things are about to get crazy we fade to black… DAMN YOU BRAVO!!  Well, let’s be honest, they didn’t need to fade to make me come back again next week.  This Winey Bitch needs to get to the bottom of this Russell situation.

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