One-Sentence Summary: Someone’s spooky dance gets them sent home and we are tortured with Justin Bieber.
Rachel: I would like to know when this show turned into Total Request Live. I mean really? Justin Bieber? Did I miss the target audience on this show? Are you a bunch of tweens out there? If so, I should probably clean up my language and stop drinking so much. Well, maybe let’s do this in baby steps and just start with the language issue. I mean I don’t want to throw my body into shock or anything. That’s of no benefit to anyone… except maybe Kardashian fans. But I suppose the fact that they brought Carson back yet again will temper the pain that is La Biebs. Apparently, I’m not the only one clamoring for more more more Carson Kressley. And that can only mean one thing… I have got to get that petition to bring him on full-time started. It’s nothing personal, Brooke. You seem lovely. He is just way funnier than you. That’s not your fault. That’s just pure dumb luck. Some people are born with the funny gene and some are not… And in my case, some just drink themselves funny (in their own mind). Maybe you should try that. Sure would be more entertaining for us if you were half in the bag. Just sayin….
The highest grossing concert film in US History? Are you kidding me? Please someone, tell U2 to re-release Rattle and Hum immediately. And maybe in 3D. I cannot have that be the record. I cannot. I also cannot take this performance or that purple jacket. I’m sorry but this kid sounds terrible. Ok, hitting mute until it’s over.
Well, let me un-mute my TV for my friend Carson. His interview with people about their favorites on the show is my favorite part of the show. He is hilarious. Viva Carson! We want more!
OK, I’m misty again. Damn you, DWTS! Good thing the song is uplifting and not another buzzkill bummer track like they’ve been hitting us with the past 3 weeks or I’d be reaching for something sharp. OK, maybe I’d be reaching for the wine bottle. Beautiful dance. Lovely girl. Good story.
Um, that was kinda hot. You know how I like to roll my eyes and make a big production out of having to watch filler when you could announce who’s going home in 5 minutes, but I have to give them their due on this one. And they are due here. Damn. That was a really beautiful and sexy dance…
Are Boyz II Men really singing back-up? This is not cool. The only way I’m cool with this is if they actually wrote the song and are making all the money. Oh and is Justin Bieber the Benjamin Buttons of teen pop dreams? I mean he still looks like he’s 12 years old… Wait, I have no idea how old he is. Is he 12? And I love how he had to out-sing them at end of the song. Just stop.
Ok, let’s get down to business. First up on the cutting board are Nancy & Tristan and Rob & Cheryl. Nancy thinks her reviews mean the end. Should we see if she’s actually in jeopardy? She is. Rob & Cheryl? They are safe. I mean was there any question, really? If we’re only getting the bottom two tonight, then they’re not going to give us the bottom two in the first 10 minutes. But thanks for pretending there was suspense.
Next on the chopping block are JR & Karina and Ricki & Derek. I have to imagine they’re both safe and it’s either Hope or David in the bottom two. I’m just guessing… Or doing basic math. And I’m right. They’re both safe.
So, here we are with Hope & Maks and David & Kym. Well, we all know where my vote is going. Probably would have been helpful if my vote actually went somewhere last night, but once again I was voting by ESP. Hope & Maks are safe which puts David & Kym in the bottom two. Not at all pleased with this. Not. At. All.
The Results: David & Kym are going home. Wait, what??? What just happened? I’m shocked and saddened! I do love that he leaves with a swipe at Maks and his “This is my show.” stupidity. Aw, that makes it even sadder. All the fun people are going home.
I’m pretty sure this was the point in the show last year when I realized that I probably should be voting if I’m going to have an opinion. Guess what I just realized tonight… You guessed it.