One-Sentence Summary: It’s time to send another star packing.
Rachel: Ok, here we go again. Five minutes worth of show stretched out into 60 long minutes. As I stated last week, I am protesting the Footloose segment of this episode in honor of Kevin Bacon and the original Footloose movie. Why does Hollywood need to remake everything? Are you telling me there really are no good ideas left? I have to believe that’s not true. I also have to believe that we didn’t need The Thing remade for the third time… But I digress. All I’m saying is that there is a very good chance my fast forward button and I are going to spend some quality time together tonight. I know you’d think I should watch the whole show being that I’m supposed to be reporting it back to you. Listen, I’m sure that there are 15,000 other blogs out there that will tell you how awesome all these performances are and give you the play-by-play. That’s not what we’re here for. No, we’re here for a nobler cause. We’re here to point, judge & laugh. Probably not the best way to earn karma points but it’s all in the name of a few good chuckles. And the world needs way more chuckles, if you ask me. Join us, won’t you?
DWTS is rocking it with the R&B artists the last two weeks. I approve. Raphael Saadiq is so awesome. He looks good too. You’d never think he was old enough to have been in Tony! Toni! Toné! back in the day. That’s right, of “Feels Good” fame. I can’t believe he’s older than I am! And I am clearly…. um… older than 18. Next topic!
Thanks, I’ll Pass
Come on… Was that shot necessary? For real. And another dance with Val’s chest on display. It must have been written into his contract. His chest is starting to rival the Kardashians for airtime. I think he’s happy he got voted off early so now he can dance passionately with his shirt blowing open each week. Anywho, FF button in full effect.
Well, this has put me in quite the pickle… I really like Blake Shelton. I couldn’t tell you a single song he sings but he was awesome as a coach on The Voice. Well, let me be open-minded for a change & see what they have going here. Finger is just tentatively on the FF button. OK, never mind… One bar of what they did to “Holding Out For A Hero” has already pissed me off. That song was so awesomely powerful in its original form and now it’s some cheesy ballad. Done. FF all the way through… Well, small stop for Blake. Eh, it’s not a terrible cover. Should be a little less “polished” IMHO but Blake & I can still be friends. Let’s just get to the elimination now, shall we? Life will go on if I miss Julianne & Derek’s Brother/Sister dance.
Ricki & Derek, JR & Karina and Rob & Cheryl are all up first. Does it take a brain surgeon to figure out that Rob & Cheryl are going to be on the chopping block? The other two couples are definitely favorites… And I’m not buying that Kristin’s elimination was shocking or that she was a favorite. She is notorious for being a bitch! I mean, come on. Anywho, we’re not here for my K.Cav. soapbox… Carson & Anna, Chaz & Lacey and Chynna & Tony are next up for elimination. Chaz & Lacey and Carson & Anna are both safe. Listen, Chaz isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He’s got a major support system out there. So, it’s Chynna & Tony that are in jeopardy… Ugh. I really like Chynna. The final three couples are up next: David & Kym, Nancy & Tristan and Hope & Maks. Nancy & Tristan are the third couple in jeopardy. Whew, I was worried about David.
The Results: Chynna and Tony are eliminated. That super bums me out. I really liked Chynna and would have liked to see her stay. Granted, she did screw up royally this week so, I guess, it makes sense. If you’re not a “fan favorite”, it’s actually going to come down to the dancing to keep you around methinks.
Rachel: This is the first “sad to see you go” elimination. I liked watching her dance. Some day I’ll learn that thing about actually voting. Don’t vote, can’t bitch… Something like that, right?