Rachel: I guess this is an easy way to let house guests know what you’re into. You probably never have to worry about buying them an inappropriate house gift. And I’d like to know exactly where, in the house, this hangs. Are you greeted by it as you walk in the door? Is it over the dining room table making every meal a double entendre? Or is it in the bedroom where it would seem most apropos… if a penis chandelier could actually be appropriate in any way? And exactly what possesses one to commission such a piece… because you know this is not a mass market product? I need to know. But, I suppose, this remains another of life’s unanswered mysteries…. Stonehenge, The Pyramids and The Penis Chandelier.
Melissa: Well now here’s something you’ll probably never see up for auction at Christie’s… John Holmes’s chandelier. Seriously, for the first time in WTF history I’m kind of at a loss for words… I KNOW there is a ‘bedazzle’ joke in there somewhere, I just can’t get to it with my mind racing around this image… “Can we make it seem less phallic, and hang it the other way?”, “It’s on a dimmer… you should see when I turn up the lights”, “Since my ex got the house in the settlement, I figured I’d let him know what I thought about him”, “This is where the magic happens”, “I wanted something completely unique for this space”, “I expected it to be bigger”.