America’s Next Top Model All-Stars – Week 1

One-Sentence Summary:  Tyra & her multiple personalities are back for an all-star season!

What do you mean we can't revisit all my personalities this season? Some of them are All-Stars too.

My Thoughts: 

Rachel:  I have been waiting for this day for a long time… Ok, well a couple of weeks… but I’ve still been waiting.  I do love me some ANTM and an all-star cast makes it all the more delicious.  I wonder if we’re going to see the more subdued Tyra of last two “haute couture” seasons or if we’re going back to the crazy antics of Robo-Tyra, et al.  I don’t know but let’s get this party started and find out!

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

Right off the bat we get our question answered. The crazy is back! Someone opened the barnyard door and let out all the farm crazies. Apparently, the idea for this season came to her in a dream where the voices of past contestants were speaking to her. I think they make a pill for that.

Awesome! Crazy Tyra is back!  You gotta love it… She tried to take the show to the classy place the last two seasons but you can’t keep that kind of crazy bottled up.  C’mon this is why we all tune in… Well, part of it.  Judging from the previews, looks like that crazy exploded like a volcano all over this season and this scene is just the tip of the iceberg.  I guess when it’s your name on the paychecks, you get to make the rules.

They’re Baaaack!!!

The ladies are back and giving each other the once over. Everyone has a photo with a "famous" quote of theirs included. You know, so we can sum each other up in a sound bite. Apparently, Bianca & Bre are former roommates and current besties. However, Bianca didn't know Bre was coming on the show and was not pleased. So, much for that big surprise, Bre.

Angele’s quote is that she is “ghetto but classy ghetto”.  Does that mean you spell it with a capital “G”?  And I’m pretty sure “classy” is not the word I’d use.  Laura is excited to be back with all the working models… Did she actually check people’s resumes?  Last I heard, big-eyed Allison was a cater waiter.  She says Art Director… Tomato/Tomahto.  Apparently, Bianca isn’t too much into surprises.  Way to snub your friend.  Dominique doesn’t look less manly either even though she says she does.  And lord, that’s a bad weave.  Oh boy, there are a lot of gnarly personalities in this house.  Poor sweet Laura may have a breakdown.

That Was Fast

The first photo shoot has the girls portraying their Top Model characters... Lisa is The Wild Child, Camille is The Diva, etc. For fun, Bianca gets to revisit her horrible red weave she sported before her season's makeover show.... And if you can't tell from the picture, she's none to pleased. Really? Already?

While Bianca pouts about her hair, Shannon is having wardrobe issues. Lace shorts are not Christian-like so she refuses to wear them. A bikini bottom, however, is a-ok. See, lace means underwear which is only for her husband. A bikini, on the other hand, is for the beach so that is ok to be seen wearing in public... The fact that the shorts show way less skin is, apparently, not relevant.

Oh these women are already exhausting me.  Such ridiculous behavior.  Not that I am surprised.  What does surprise me is the lack of movement in Mr. Jay’s face.  I recognize that he has the most flawless skin I have seen on a human and, if it were me, I’d want to preserve that as long as possible as well… but that’s a lot of Botox.  I’m just gonna say maybe push back from the table a little earlier next time.  And is it just me or does it look like Shannon has 3 hands in this pic?  It looks like her left hand is clasping her right but it’s also on her hip.  Granted I’ve had a lot of Proseco tonight and will probably wake up & realize that it was just blurred vision… or not.

BTW, all the photos from today’s shoot were the promo pics.  You can check them by clicking here.

Guest Judge

Nicki Minaj guest hosts the first panel which is held live outside the Nokia Theater in Downtown LA.

I love me some Nicki Minaj.  The fact that she’s a fan of the show makes me love her even more.  Now she is fierce, Tyra.  BTW… Nigel is back and he has hair… It’s freaking me out.

Panel In Under 2 Minutes

I really hope that is the last time panel will be held outdoors in front of an audience.  There was barely any real photo critiquing which was annoying but I guess they’re also being judged on personality tonight as well.  Allison is the most memorable contestant of the bunch and the most well-liked.  Alexandria, on the other hand, was greeted with boos and one “f**k you” from the audience.  Guess that wound is still too fresh for fans.  That was out of line though and I give Alexandria credit for making a joke and moving on.  Most of the other girls would have gone either with screaming back or crying… and that’s what pulls her through to next week.  She skates by the Bottom Two leaving Brittany to pack her bags.  I guess yelling “Brittany, bitch!!!!” on the catwalk didn’t sit so well with the panel; especially with one Mr. Andre Leon Tally.  She gets sent home first and Isis gets best picture.  Didn’t see that coming… Judging, I hardly know ye.

Bottom Line: Can’t say I’m sad to see Brittany go.  It’s not that I don’t like her.  It’s that I have no feelings for her one way or the other… and neither did the crowd which sent her packing.  I guess having a guest correspondence on Extra as part of the winner’s package has put a new view on judging.  And speaking of judging, I’m only feeling mediocre about tonight’s episode.  Was hoping for a little more warm & fuzzy but the only thing fuzzy is my vision.  We’ll see if next week turns up the volume…

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