One-Sentence Summary: The ladies fly to Colorado to bid adieu to one of Camille’s homes lost to the divorce.
Melissa: Poor Camile, she has to give up one of her homes this week… I feel for her. I mean I know it crushed me when I had to give up one of my 9 homes… Oh wait, that wasn’t me. Woman please, turn over the key and move on. We didn’t even know you had a Colorado home. Hell, did we even know until last week you had a Hampton home??
Rachel: It really is a bit scary how excited I am to be watching the Beverly Hills Housewives again. I mean that sincerely. Maybe it’s just that I’ve hit maximum capacity with Bachelor Pad and this is the sweet relief but it’s the highlight of my day. Or maybe it’s more that I just need to get a life. Hmm… No matter, tonight we’re off to the snowy mountains of Colorado so we can all say “goodbye” to Camille’s home. Personally, I just think we (and by we, I mean the cast & cameramen) were invited so she could show it off to the world before it’s gone. There is nothing she does that is not contrived. But in honor of the cold of Beaver Creek, I have a nice spicy shiraz in hand to keep me warm.
There’s No Place Like A 7-Bedroom Home
Melissa: Kyle’s family is finally moving in to her dream home… Does anyone else find it all sorts of “it places the lotion in the basket” that she sat and stared at the house… stalking until the owners moved?
Rachel: I would like to speak out on the unethical treatment of pets now. It’s bad enough that Lisa insists on dressing her dog in insane outfits (Yes, I know he has some kind of hair issue) but making out with Jiggy is just wrong. Sick and wrong. Where are the PETA nut jobs… er, activists when you need them?
Melissa: Lisa’s packing adventure… and we’re treated to her closet and her tonguing Giggy. Sweet Mary, I just threw up a little in my mouth! No amount of wine is going to get that image out of my mind!!
Leaving On A Jet Plane
Melissa: OK, now I can’t mock Adrienne’s 3 suitcases for 2 days. Anyone who has traveled with me knows I need a full suitcase for my shoes too. What I don’t get is her having to give instructions to Paul… “wear your seatbelt”… Really?
Rachel: Why are Adrienne and her husband married? There is no part of her that seems to like or respect him. At all. Ever. I too am a chronic over-packer so I shall also refrain from mocking.
Oh So Cozy
Rachel: What the hell is Kyle wearing and what is Kim on? No, seriously, what is she on because it ain’t just too much coffee… Unless coffee is the new street term for speed. Kyle picks the scab until she strikes blood. Awesome. Oh STFU Taylor! Seriously, whether you agree or not with Ken, he voiced an opinion. He’s entitled to one. And you’re entitled to think he’s an ass. Move on. Great, we get a whole season with Taylor experiencing Alex-itis (Remember what happened when Alex McCord announced she found her voice?). She’s just going to start picking fights because she has to prove she has a spine now. How fun for us all. I’m sorry. Don’t be messing with my girl, Lisa.
Melissa: I love these women traveling together… truly comical! What’s this, Lisa traveling with the commoners… how did she manage??? You all know my fingers are wringing together in excitement of these ladies confined in a car for 4 hours! MWAHAHAHA. Well Hello Kyle I didn’t see you slip that ladle into your bag, you little pot stirrer!
Good Walls Make Good Houseguests
Melissa: I do like Camile’s Colorado house – quite lovely. But I ADORE the ladies quibbling over sleeping quarters.
Rachel: Oh Camille is just so impressed with herself all the time. Isn’t this a great room… I decorated it. Look at the great wall sconces in the spiral staircase. Doesn’t it feel like a castle… I did that. I didn’t assign bedrooms because I want the women to work it out. Oh you’re so smart, Camille. No one would ever have thought to let grown-ass women pick their own rooms. Six of us managed to do it this summer without coming to blows. I had no idea we had risen above and avoided having to call in lawyers.
Melissa: Oh my Camile, no need to be sharing your manscaping techniques – It’s ladies’ night! Now what I find interesting is that Camile claims it’s all in the kiss for her. That she can’t connect with someone without the kiss… Yet “her ex” was a bad kisser… Gee, I wonder what she connected with then???
If The Boot Fits…
Melissa: Poor Kim is still under the weather, but that’s not going to stop her from having a good time. Wait, a ski concierge? Oh, of course they wouldn’t just get their boots and skis at the resort like normal people… Ah, the extravagance of these ladies.
Rachel: Kim isn’t sick… She just coming down from whatever she was on yesterday. She kept Kyle up all night with her incessant talking… Does anyone else want to acknowledge the big drugged-up elephant in the room?
C Is For Cookie
Rachel: Wait, fresh baked chocolate chip cookies? If I had known that happened, I would have tried this skiing thing a long time ago. I have no interest in freezing my ass off to prove gravity exists… I am, however, interested in freezing my ass off to enjoy fresh baked cookies at the end of the gravity experiment.
Therapy With Jets
Melissa: Part of me feels bad for Taylor, because I think she’s on the verge of a breakdown and knowing what is coming up, I think it will send her over the edge. Not good.
Melissa: Looks like the hot tub was the beginning of Taylor’s spiral… next week looks to be the ugly ride about to begin… for a few of the ladies.
Rachel: Well, there wasn’t that much drama this week but if the previews aren’t jerking us around, next week looks to ratchet up the heat!