Project Runway Week 5 – Off The Track

One Sentence Summary:  Time for Heidi’s New Balance challenge and someone comes back from the eliminated designers.

My Thoughts:

That's right. The HBIC is back... and they gave me a whistle.

Rachel: Well, you knew Heidi couldn’t let Nina have a week if she didn’t get a week too.   So, tonight’s challenge is all about Heidi and her New Balance collection.  I have to say I have liked this challenge in the past so I’m looking forward to it tonight.  And I know I give Heidi a hard time, but deep down inside I like her.  She’s kind of a cool chick.  It’s just so easy to poke fun though… I know, it’s probably just jealousy silliness on my part, but you know me.  I see a joke.  I have to make it; especially if it’s snarky.  That being said, you know Heidi is thrilled to have the spotlight back shining on her and her achievements in the sportswear industry.  It must have been torture for her to have to take a back seat to Nina.  Ok, let’s get on with it…

I Want My Woobie!

The designers wake up to gift boxes of work-out wear from New Balance.  Everyone is amped to go and find out what’s next… Everyone, that is, except for Cecilia.  She is distraught about Julie leaving and refuses to get out of bed or participate.

Holy woman on the verge! Cecilia is having a total temper tantrum about Julie getting sent home.  I understand getting attached to new friends (More than friends? Did I miss a storyline?) but this is ridiculous.  She isn’t getting out of bed until someone gives her her woobie… Her woobie being Julie.  The thing though is that if Julie were there, Cecilia wouldn’t be; seeing how they were the bottom two last week.  Soooo if my math is correct, Cecilia would be woobie-less either way.  Just suck it up lady and get in the game.

Track Time

The designers are told they will be working in teams of 3 on looks for Heidi’s New Balance fashion line.  The designs have to incorporate denim & suede and look great with the sneakers she designed out of… wait for it… denim & suede.  The winning team will have their look sold on Amazon.com.  Top 4 winners of a race around the track get to lead & pick their teams. However, they are down a team member this week.  Cecilia’s breakdown continued at the track where she decided she was ready to go home.

It’s really mean, and by mean, I mean high-larious to ask this group to run around a track.  Normally, I’d object to the women not getting a head start but I’m gonna say being a man, in this case, isn’t really an advantage.  So around they go and poor Bert gets left in the dust.  He’s so slow that Heidi offers to run the last few yards with him… in her stilettos… and keeps up.  And while Bert is huffing his way across the finish line, poor fragile Olivier is on the track with two bruised knees from a tumble that sends him into a total panic attack.  See what happens when you ask people to run?  This is why I never do it.  Ever.

It’s High School All Over Again

The top 4 finishers (Josh, Bryce, Anthony Ryan & Viktor) get to pick their team members and it’s very reminiscent of high school gym class.  And for those of you playing at home, there is a team short a person since Cecilia left.  That means Viktor gets to bring someone back from the “out” designers.

Well, needless to say, there are natural cliques forming and those not in with the cool kids get picked last (Bert, Becky & Danielle).  No one wants to pick Burt and have to deal with his bad attitude.  But someone has to and it’s Anthony Ryan & Laura.  I have a little soft spot for sad clown Burt, but man, I wouldn’t want him on my team either. He would be the loose cannon contestant this season.  Viktor & Olivier are a team and get to pick an “out” designer to come back.  They pick Josh C. which makes Josh M. super happy.  I have a feeling Josh C might be more “out” by the end of this show than he could have ever imagined. Oh those Mormons back in Utah are in for a few surprises… Wouldn’t it have been funny if they had picked Julie?

Chaos In The Workroom

Heidi and Tim stop by the workroom where tempers are already running short.  Becky is feeling ignored.  Bert is feeling disregarded.  And Heidi is feeling that not much of anything is working.  She gives the designers 5 extra hours to work but even that can’t save a few of these outfits.
With everyone running around trying to figure out how to address Heidi’s concerns, tensions are high.  Josh tells Becky that he’s not interested in her “dowdy” designs and she should just go back to sewing.  Needless to say, this doesn’t go over well and the first bathroom meltdown of the season is upon us.

You know how badly I want to tell you that Heidi was unfairly harsh but there were some serious messes going on in that room.  Bert won’t change his design which sends Anthony Ryan over the edge.  At least, they agree that if anyone gets thrown under the bus for a bad design, it’s Bert.  Josh M. doesn’t want to hear anything from Becky about design ideas because that is not why he put her on his team.  Ouch.  Oh the bitchiness has come out in full force this week and it is deeeelicious!  Now, we’re cookin’ with gas!  In all fairness though, I do need to tell you that Josh did apologize to Becky saving him from being a total villain… Delivering it in the ladies’ room where there are “sanitary things happening” just makes it all the better.

Guest Judge

Model & designer Erin Wasson is this week’s judge… You know, in case you couldn’t read that yourself.

She actually did crack a smile and say “hello” upon her introduction.  We don’t have another Joanna Coles on our hands this week.  I have nothing else to say about her.

Runway Week 5

The 12 remaining designers present their New Balance mini-collections to Heidi…

TEAM VIKTOR

Viktor

Oh! Way to start it off. I love love love this. I want that jacket. I hope he wins so I can buy that jacket.

Josh C.

Welcome back Josh C.! I love this too. That t-shirt is amazing. Ok, way to start this party off right.

Olivier

This is the one mistake in the collection. I have never been a fan of sneakers and long skirts. Feels very, um, bumpkin.

TEAM BRYCE

Bryce

This is cute but I feel like it's a bit boring... Kind of like this critique.

Kimberly

Hmmm... I say Hmmm... The jacket's nice...

Danielle

I hate this. I really wish she'd stop with the chiffon. And why that color when there is no color in the rest of the collection?

TEAM ANTHONY RYAN

Anthony Ryan

What on earth??? This is terrible. This looks like something I wore in the 80's when I thought overly baggy clothes were cute... They were not. Neither is this. He's going to get his ass handed to him.

Laura

Um... I'm not loving this either. I don't really understand it to be honest. The vest is kinda fun though.

Bert

Interesting... After all that bickering, Bert's is the best look of the team. Now, I wouldn't wear this with sneakers... ever.. But this isn't a bad outfit. I wonder who's getting thrown under the bus now?

TEAM JOSH M.

Josh M.

I actually like this and I think it's the right vibe for the challenge. This look makes sense with sneakers which is the point, after all.

Becky

Also the right vibe but I think it's just ok. I really think that top would look better if the model had actually put on a bra. I know it's so not "runway" but my girl needs it. Guess those runway lights aren't as hot as they say they are.

Anya

Somehow the maxi dress works with sneaks but the long skirt does not. I like this dress but think it didn't need the ribbon down the front.

The Results

No one team blew the judges away.  So no one is safe from the runway.  Team Anthony Ryan is up first and it’s ugly.

Anthony Ryan & Laura waste no time throwing Bert to the wolves for his bad attitude and unwillingness to help.  Bert says he tried but nobody wanted to play with him.  The three of them start arguing over each other to the point that none of the judges can actually speak.  Awesome composure.  When they actually let the judges give them their feedback, the news is not good.  Michael says Anthony Ryan should have spent less time on Bert & more on his own outfit because his only success was giving a model camel toe in baggy shorts. Wow.  All the judges think Bert’s look is the only good outfit from the team.  While it’s not appropriate for sneakers, it’s at least a garment that is presentable.  Laura’s vest is a nice attempt but the outfit is just wrong.  Looks like Bert is the only one safe here.

Next is Team Josh M.  Their feedback is better but their behavior on the runway is not.

Now it’s Becky & Josh’s turn to call each other out.  Josh says he was team leader so he had to do what he felt was right.  Becky felt disrespected.  Luckily they stop bickering long enough to get the good news… While Heidi thinks they didn’t use the extra time all that well there is a nice synchronicity to the collection.  Anya’s dress is the favorite piece.  It’s flattering, fashion-forward but Michael is bothered by the ribbon stripe (Me too, Michael.  Me too.).  Nina likes Josh’s vest & Erin likes his shorts.  Unfortunately, Becky was the bad news here.  The t-shirt is all wrong.  Too bad Anya didn’t step up and tell the judges it was Becky that sewed her dress since she had never sewn jersey before.  Anya is starting to quickly fall out of favor with me.

Finally, it’s Team Viktor, a team that is all about the love…

Everyone loves the leather jacket and the overall “edgy girl” vibe of the collection.  Nina calls it “road warrior” and really loves it.  Erin thinks the t-shirt is modern and reinvents the t-shirt which is hard to do.  But there is bad news here too.  Olivier’s long skirt doesn’t make anyone happen.  Michael says it’s very Sound of Music… A movie we all love but don’t want to replicate in our closets.  And speaking of closets, don’t think Josh C’s rainbow shirt went unnoticed.  Wink wink.

And finally, it’s time for Team Bryce.

Everyone thinks Bryce’s dress is fantastic.  They like that it works with the sneakers but could also work with heels.  However, the other two outfits don’t feel uniform.  Danielle’s “rag” tank is terrible.  Michael thinks it’s a souffle that flopped. Danielle is also called out for doing the same thing over & over.  And they don’t understand the color pop since it’s nowhere else in the collection.  They like Kimberly’s jacket but not with the shorts.  I was pretty close to the judges on this one.  I think they should give me a guest judge slot.  I mean I’ve done as much as Kim Kardashian has…. Well, minus the millions of dollars and the whole sex tape thing.

And The Winner Is…

Viktor gets the win but so does Josh M.  They both will have their designs on Amazon.com and have immunity.  The rest of the teams are not as lucky.  Unfortunately, someone still has to go home.  This week Danielle gets the boot… Although Heidi wanted to see Anthony Ryan sent home.

Oh Heidi, you never let me down.  Just when I admit to poking fun at you for no reason sometimes, you give me a big fat reason.  Heidi decides since it’s her  challenge, she’s changing the rules and crowns two winners.  She also lets Anthony Ryan know that, if it were just up to her, he’d be going home.  Then she tells him he’s safe and let’s him skulk off the stage.  Ah Heidi, back on your throne.  I feel all is right with the world now.  I’m just mad I can’t buy Josh C’s t-shirt.

Bottom Line:  I loved this week.  Drama from start to finish.  Interesting challenge.  And a bathroom meltdown.  Oh Project Runway, you complete me… At least for another week.

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