Project Runway Week 3 – Go Big or Go Home

One Sentence Summary:  Project Runway heads outdoors for their first public runway show ever.

What do you mean Josh & I have the same hairstyle tonight?

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Week 3 is here and we’re going outdoors people.  This week the designers get to create runway fashions for models on stilts.  Yes, on stilts. I’m worried that Project Runway is going the way of America’s Next Top Model where they get so wrapped up in the shtick, that they lose the fashion.  Tyra came back from the edge last season, so can you Project Runway.

I can already hear Michael talking about how ka-razee everything is because you know there are going to be a lot of costumes coming down that runway.  This challenge just screams miles of fabric blowing in the wind.  I just hope there is as much drama in the workroom as there is on the runway or I’m not sure I’ll stay awake through the entire episode.  It’s been far too congenial in there.  I’m so ready for crying in the bathroom, yelling over the sewing machines & snide digs about the “disaster” so & so is working on.  Yes, this is why we love Project Runway.  C’mon kids, make it work.. for me.

I’m On Top Of The World

The Button Bag makes its first appearance of the season and it’s picking teams for the stilts challenge.  The teams are:  Viktor & Bert, Anthony & Laura, Josh & Julie, Danielle & Ceclilia, Anya & Olivier, Kimberly & Becky and Bryce & Fallene.

Well, hello Button Bag!  It’s good to see you.  You always bring a bit of drama with you… and nothing says drama like “teams”.  You could actually hear Viktor’s blood pressure rise when he heard he was partnered with Bert.  On the other hand, Anya & Olivier is a dream team and they know it.  Everyone knows it.  But can they live up to the hype?  And then there’s Bryce & Fallene… both were in the bottom three last week and this combination doesn’t inspire them to feel confident that they won’t end up there again.  Now, that’s the team spirit!

A Less Happy Muppet Marriage

Bert and Viktor get off to a rocky start.  Bert thinks Viktor should know what he’s talking about before he speaks.  Viktor thinks Bert should not speak at all.  Neither of them thinks the other knows what he’s doing.

Once upon a time, there were a couple of roommates named Bert & Ernie.  They lived on Sesame Street & got along so famously that it was rumored that they were actually more than friends.  Regardless of their “status” nothing could ever tear them apart.  Once upon a today, there were a couple of roommates named Bert & Viktor.  They lived on 38th Street & pretty much hated each other.  Not everything is as great as the original…

While I think they’re both pretty dramatic and ridiculous, I do have to side with Bert on one thing… It is incredibly irritating to hear people talk about things they are completely ignorant about.  So, I find it amusing that Viktor is going on a tirade about Queen Victorian & the Victorian Era of fashion when he meant Elizabethan.  And I find it hilarious that he said it didn’t matter that he got it wrong when Bert called him out.  Aren’t you supposed to be a fashion “expert”, Viktor?  Methinks it should matter.

Fall of Fallene

While the other designers are “making it work”, Fallene is coming unhinged.  She can’t figure out what it means to cut fabric “on the grain” which ends with her not being able to finish her bustier.  Bryce scrambles to make a new top and they end up the poor man’s Black Swan.  Fallene does manage to whip out a fun little feather hat ensuring she contributed something to the look.

Fallene is a woman on the verge.  Once she realized she was in over her head, she just went into a tailspin and there was no pulling her back.  None.  The last time I saw someone fully collapse that quickly was Ann Coulter while in the midst of a debate with Al Franken.  No amount of Diet Coke could have saved that mess (which was glorious) and no amount of hipster vintage clothing can save Fallene from her own mess.  Sad.  I like Fallene.

For Those About To Rock

Viktor does he best Angus Young impersonation.

Rock on, Viktor… I salute you.

Guest Judge

This week’s guest judge is Kim Kardashian.

Say what you want about Kim but that girl is a marketing machine.  She has turned herself into a brand.  I also salute her.  The rest of the Kardashian clan… let’s just say, not so much.

Runway Week 3

The 14 remaining designers work in pairs to make fashion on stilts…

Josh & Julie

Wow. That's some craziness right there. Those pants need about 3 inches less waist and that jacket needs about 3 pounds less bedazzling. I could have liked the pants but the jacket is terrible.

Bert & Viktor

This is not good. This is not good at all...regardless of it being Elizabethan or Victorian. I can't find one thing nice to say. This is in the running for the bottom 3 for sure.

Bryce & Fallene

So far nothing is wowing me and this certainly won't change that. I think Bryce & Fallene should be panicking.

Betsy & Kimberly

I was staring to think that maybe the awkward walking and strange proportions were going to make this entire challenge a dud but I am loving this. I think the jacket is rad. The pants are really well done too. Best so far.

Anya & Olivier

Now, we're cooking with gas. Not my favorite material but a pretty good showing from the Dream Team. They definitely saved the top from the mess we saw in the workroom.

Cecilia & Danielle

Ok, what is on her head? A bird's nest? They're going to hear about that... although they may land in the middle and be safe. I am not a fan of bejeweled collars but it's well-made. I'm "meh" on the whole thing.

Anthony & Laura

While I don't normally condone the use of illusion netting (which that may not be but it's close enough), this is pretty awesome. The red feather shoulders are great. This will be in the top.

Your Top & Bottom Three…

Top 3 are Anthony & Laura, Cecilia & Danielle, and Becky & Kimberly.  Bottom 3 are Bert & Viktor, Josh & Julie, and Bryce & Fallene.

The good news:  OK, I would have put Anya & Olivier here over Cecilia & Danielle but no one is paying me for my fashion advice.  They love the feathers and elegance of Anthony & Laura’s outfit.  They love the colors and tailoring of Cecilia & Danielle’s but Michael says the hair is ka-razee (There it is!  You didn’t let me down Mr. Kors!).  And they think Becky & Kimberly did an amazing job on the pants and love the angles of the jacket.

The bad news:  There is nothing surprising about this bottom three.  It’s a who’s who of what not to do in a Project Runway challenge.  There was almost nothing nice to say about any of the outfits spare Fallene’s feather hat… Ok, that was surprising.  They called Bert & Viktor’s outfit made from the curtains of a catering hall… which is an insult to catering halls everywhere.  Josh & Julia made the mistake of thinking dramatic was the same as tacky.  Haven’t we all done that before?  I’m pretty sure being a teenager in the 80’s qualified me every other day.  Thanks, Madonna!  Anywho, it was well-made and that will save them.  Finally, Bryce & Fallene threw an outfit together that referenced every dance theme they could think of.  Nothing worked except Fallene’s feather hat but they both feel like Fallene should go home if they are the bottom team…. And she does.  Bye Bye Fallene.  I hope sacrificing your rainbow-vomiting clown was worth it.

And The Winner Is…

Laura is this week’s winner making Anthony the bridesmaid again.

I guess running around Parsons in your stilettos heels pays off.  I’m thinking Laura isn’t as ditzy as she pretended to be in the casting episode.  I think she thought it would give her a character to play which the producers always like.  I say kudos there Laura.  Way to play us all.

Bottom Line:  A little more drama this week was welcome.  Now, let’s drop the gas and put this in high gear, shall we?


One response to “Project Runway Week 3 – Go Big or Go Home

  1. This piece was cogent, well-wirtten, and pithy.

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