Not One Thing Right About This
Uh… Not sure these need any explanation beyond the fact that they are shorts… that were crocheted.
Rachel: So this is what happens when a sweater and a pair of shorts come together. I never wondered what that would look like and am now positive I never needed to know. What I would like to know though is what one would call these? Sworts? A Shweater? I can’t fathom what these must look like after you’ve sat in them for any length of time being that knit doesn’t really hold it’s shape so much. And please don’t turn around. That can’t be pretty. Then there’s why? In every sense, why? There’s no reason for these… especially in that color scheme that was barely popular in the 70’s. Were they trying to evoke skid marks? There’s no other reason you would put a brown stripe down someone’s butt crack. Am I right or am I right? All I can do is shake my head and hope this is the last time I ever have to see these… although I’m sure there’s some hipster out there that thinks these would go perfectly with his ironic mustache.
Melissa: I really wanted to give these the benefit of the doubt – for humor’s sake, at least. Maybe they’re boxer briefs… Pardon – men’s “hot pants” (I kid you not, click the image for the website) for Alaska. But then I noticed the jaunty back pocket and belt loops… surely one does not need belt loops on underwear. I’m with my partner here on the Why the F would you ever think to put a brown stripe down your ass crack?? WAIT A MINUTE, the color scheme, the ass stripe, could it be… are these Olean briefs?? Free with a bag of WOW chips – just in case. I jest of course, WOW chips would have been much bigger had they had such an awesome gift with purchase! There is a small part of me that imagines these to be what the Germans are rocking under their Lederhosen for formal events – I don’t know, just something about them screams “I’m fancy”. Either that or “please Mema, no hot pants, a scarf will do”.