One Sentence Summary: Hail hail, the gang’s all here and ready to eviscerate people about their taste levels and fabric choices.
Rachel: Heidi & Tim are welcoming me to Season 9… Season 9? Really? Why do I only remember like 3 winners? Have there really been 8 seasons already? I think I need to invest in some Ginkgo or something because that seems crazy to me. Then again, I’m lucky if I remember what I had for breakfast by the time lunch rolls around. And it’s not the wine. It’s not… It might be the wine.
Anywho, we start out with the panel reviewing the top 20 contenders. I’m glad to see that Tim gets to be part of the decision as to who makes it into the show. He really should have more of a say but I’m just happy to hear him say “Make it work!” I would like Tim as a buddy but I’m pretty sure it would never work because I’d be so concerned about what I was wearing that I’d never leave the house.
On the other hand, Heidi scares me. She does. She is always smiling but you can just tell that she is running the show and you do not get in her way. She’ll cut a bitch. That’s all I’m gonna say… Shall we meet the Top 20?
The Top 20
Kimberly calls herself “urban glam” and says she works out in a sequined tank top. Rock on girl. I can’t even imagine that… Then again, I can barely imagine working out. Maybe that’s the secret though… Maybe if I added sequins to my routine, I’d be more motivated. No, I wouldn’t. OK, I like Kimberly. She gets my vote.
Um… The feather cape frightens me. I feel like it might actually peck you to death. Didn’t Chris March do a coat like this but made out of human hair? Heidi decides she needs to try it on and it makes her look about 3 feet wide at the shoulders. I say hmmm… No, not feeling Bryce.
Miss Trinidad & Tobago – She has told us this 5 times now… How many times do you think we’ll have to hear that? At least she didn’t show up with a bunch of pageant dresses. Those are supposed to go down the block to ABC for The Bachelorette. So, she’s pretty but she can’t really sew. I’m thinking that might be a problem. Call me crazy. Tim challenges her credibility and calls her handicapped. Heidi wants her in and we don’t challenge Heidi.
Becky Ross grew up in a cult. It’s worth keeping her around just to hear those stories. I’m going to want to call her Betsy Ross all season. I mean clothes, sewing… last name Ross… First name B… It’s a little too easy. I’m a thumbs up on Becky.
Olivier is a British Ginger Asian which is a whole lot of interesting. I’m not sure how I feel about his see-through paneling in his designs. Nina wants to see more but heidi is so digging his scene & says they don’t need to see more. And again, she is in charge. Don’t get it twisted.
Josh wants to get married & have kids. Good to know. Heidi sings him into the room. Seriously, 15 minutes in and I’m over her. I’m not sure how I feel about the dress he shows. It looks like an umbrella blew up. I’m on the fence about Josh.
Laura is pretty and the ditz of the group. She’s glad they called her collection one note because that means it all goes together. Um… Has she never seen this show? Oh the dumb blonde jokes are going to be thick if she makes it through. Michael gets his dig in calling her love of color “not just Florida”. Thems fighting words Michael Kors. Some of us down here have style and a wardrobe that isn’t a rainbow’s vomit.
David is told his collection is only one shape but he thinks it’s OK since they’re for the same collection. Again, ever seen the show? Nina isn’t buying it and, from the look on David’s face, he’s got a few choice words for her as well. At least he knows better than to let them fly. He’s not auditioning for The Housewives, after all. I’m gonna say he’s not making it after that review.
His collection is 80’s but paired with something chic, it’s totally modern. Yeah, if you have to justify how your collection is modern, it probably isn’t. Besides, the 80’s are back. Just call it retro. Duh. I like the shirt so he may slip through even though he should never be a salesman.
Julie is the resident tough girl. Do not call her collection “outerwear”. It’s more versatile than that and not boxed in by your rules, Nina. It’s between outerwear and runway and it’s certainly not defined. Now is the time for this…. Which is crazy because I was just thinking that I am in need of a jacket that is undefined. The clothes are good. She’s in.
Amanda hates rompers but made one because everyone else is showing them. Way to say I have my own viewpoint. She’s tried out something like 5 times. They may let her through out of pity.
The hipster rebel has finally arrived. She is cute though so I’m not gonna give her too much crap… yet. She’s got the little pixie thing going on. I like her. I think the judges do too. She’s through.
Gunnar shows the judges his overly pink, overly embellished, overly everything Derby dress. There aren’t enough mint juleps in this world to get me in that mess. I think he is going to be a victim of the “taste level” conversation.
Here comes the meek girl. Are they casting based on personality or clothes? We’re ticking off all the boxes here. I’ve seen a few candidates for the bitchy gay but am waiting on the obvious one. There hasn’t been “this is my last chance” guy/gal yet either. Oh but they’re a-comin. I can feel it in my old “last chance” bones. Danielle is through.
No sooner do I say it and here he is… The bitchy gay guy. This guy is so fabulous in his own mind. And he’s already throwing the digs at the dumb blonde (sly wink in your direction friend). He’ll make it through b/c you know they want another Christian Siriano. This is the uber slick version but he’ll do.
Cecilia has quite the attitude. Tim looks beyond underwhelmed with her work and Heidi said she was just showing them she could sew. Cecilia says what we’re all thinking… better luck next time.
Rafael – I already love him. God, I hope he makes it through because he’s gonna be a big bag of crazy fun. He screams “good time”. He’s like the gay Morris Day… I know some of you think Morris Day is the gay Morris Day but no, it’s Rafael.
Serena canceled her wedding in Iceland to come to New York. For that alone, I hope she makes it. She already designs a line under a bigger brand but her stuff is cute. Couldn’t get a feel from the judges…
Finally, the oldie who wants his last chance! I knew you wouldn’t let me down casting directors. His story is honestly heart-breaking though… He lost many friends and his partner to AIDS and became an alcoholic. Sober now, we all can’t help but root for him. He’s through…
Anthony is a cancer survivor and he rocks one ball. His words not mine and I love him for that. He’s also colorblind. A one-balled colorblind fashion designer… How can you not root for him? I’m officially Team Anthony… of course, unless I decide to change my mind. I think the judges love him too.
And The Losers Are…
Tim & Heidi give the 16 finalists the good news which means that 4 people are going home before they ever get to pick a bangle from the Piperlime accessories wall.
And the losers are (Look, posting 4 names is way easier than posting 16… I’m lazy. Sue me. Besides let’s give them one last moment in the sun shall we?)…
Don’t really get Serena being out and Cecilia being in. But I suppose I will have to trust the fashion police.
The winners celebrate by popping open the bubbly. Ooh that champagne looks good. I think it might be time to join them… Let’s see what mama has in the wine fridge.
A Rude Awakening
Tim arrives at the contestants’ apartments at 5:30am to awaken them for their first challenge. They head over to Parsons in their pajamas bringing along one sheet from their beds. Their challenge: make an outfit using only the sheet from your bed and the pajamas on your body. Have no fear… They were given scrubs to wear. No nude clothes designing.
I like this challenge. Definitely makes it interesting especially considering most of the contestants don’t exactly sleep in the fanciest of pj’s. The struggles start early.. Dying is an issue… sewing is an issue… resources are an issue. Looks like the first challenge is really going to separate the haves from the have nots… The “have” being serious talent.
Quote of the Day
Laura proves she’s about as smart as the Barbie Doll she thinks she resembles.
Look, when a model is laughing at how dumb you are, you know you have reached a new low in dumb… like tree stump dumb. Speaking foreign? Really?
Heidi introduces guest judge Christina Ricci.
OK, I love me some Christina Ricci. I do. And I think her new show Pan Am might be fun. But what is going on here? She looks like she should be on The Simpsons, not Project Runway. Maybe it’s the angle?
The First Runway
The 16 finalists put their first creations up for judgement…
Your Top & Bottom Three…
No surprises here: Top 3 are Anthony, Anya & Bert. Bottom 3 are Julie, Joshua C & Rafael.
The judges are impressed that Anya pulled off those pants with her limited sewing experience and that Anthony did such a great job being colorblind but the winner is Bert’s awesome dress. The ladies & Michael loved it and Bert gets immunity for Week 2. In less happy news, Rafael, Julie & Joshua C get their asses handed to them for clothes that are both ugly and poorly constructed. Ultimately, it’s Rafael that gets the boot. I’m so sad to see him go… That’s a party train I wanted to ride.
Bottom Line: Not the most exciting season opener but I’m in. I look forward to what’s coming next!