One Sentence Summary: The ladies spend their last days in Morocco and the country breathes a collective sigh upon their departure.
Melissa: Unfortunately I still don’t have a caftan… it’s on the way though thanks to my awesome partner helping with the search. The maxi dress will have to do, but never fear, my inner child is rocking an electric orange one with yellow trim and a hood. I really wanted to be in one with the housewives this week!! Speaking of, we catch up with our crazy ladies in the last part of their trip – the final fall out of The Housewives Do Morocco.
Rachel: My wardrobe is not quite as fabulous as my partner’s this week (doesn’t helped that I spaced my eBay caftan auction). Let’s just say I’ve opted for “Bedtime Casual”. I can’t have anything binding me while I watch these ladies as it only makes it more painful. And since I’m already in my bedtime attire, perhaps I’ll just slip under the covers for some added comfort. Just fluff a pillow… settle in… yawwwwwn…. Huh? Oh yeah… Housewives. Right. Here we go, Morocco!
Ramona & Jill both need comforting after their peace talks break down without a treaty being signed. Jill looks for Cindy for comfort. Alex tries to be a comfort to Ramona but Ramona only has eyes for the one thing that can take the pain away… Pinot Grigio. Sonja & Alex try to distract Luann from taking Ramona to task by asking her to bring the wine… That’s akin to shake a shiny object…. and it worked.
Melissa: Let’s start things off with the demolition in the desert – Jill and Ramona are done. Quite frankly I think the rest of the housewives really need to step up and just keep them away from each other. We’re one more trip to Crazytown away from a Springer episode. Yeah, I know it makes for good TV, but really they need to just let it go and move on. I’m sure Manhattan Society can survive if these two don’t talk to each other.
As a side bar: I do find it comical LuAnn can’t open the wine bottle – isn’t this the same woman who, thanks to her French lover (OMG, I totally skeeved myself), knows all the ins and outs of wine??
Rachel: Did no one get the rules on “How To Vacation Friendly”? Rule #1: Leave the drama at home. No one would be crying in their couscous if they just agreed to deal with the BS on home turf. What was the need to do it in Morocco? Was the earth going to spin off its axis if there was no peace between the nations of Ramona & Jill? I’m no scientist but I’m gonna say probably not. Now, everyone has to indulge the drama which just takes away from precious relaxation time. Granted these women aren’t exactly working up sweats on the home front (minus Cindy… ok, fine, and Ramona maybe) but still… vacation is vacation. Less talking. More drinking.
Let The Party Go On
Ramona quickly gets over her fight with Jill and enjoys the entertainment at dinner… much to Luann’s chagrin as, heaven forbid, she be thought of as a tourist.
Melissa: Um, why is Ramona shoving bills in the dancer’s skirt? I know it’s tradition to tip the dancer but we’re not in a strip club sweetie… you’re not going to get a lap dance out of it. Why am I cringing over her behavior?
Rachel: I’m pretty sure this is the same club where the models on America’s Next Top Model learned to balance the trays on their heads. It would have been AWESOME if Tyra rolled up on the Housewives dinner as one of her crazy characters and lectured the ladies on Fierceness. They need to do more reality crossovers. Or a Circus of The Reality Stars! Could you imagine Kim from Atlanta on the trapeze with her wig??? Ok, I need to make this happen.
I Said No No No
Alex flies into the salon like a bat out of Hell with a message for Luann. Unfortunately, her message is lost on all parties because of her dramatic entrance. Kelly tells her it was weird and Luann tells her that she needs to sit down & address the room calmly. Alex just wants to defend Ramona to which Luann tells her, as only a Countess can, to butt out… But I think Kelly sums up Alex’s outbursts best.
Melissa: And cue Alex the drama queen… storming in like a charging bull to reprimand LuAnn for being a “mean girl”. WTF is that? Who declared you to be the one to take up Ramona’s cause? Why am I having a sense of déjà vu? Is she going to deliver a message again?? Oh Alex… I really don’t get you, and I’m done even pretending to try. Really, there’s no need to have a breakdown because Jill and Ramona can’t be friends – step the F out of the situation. No one cares that you want drama, let alone get yourself all in a hived dither trying to create it.
Rachel: Ok, there is so much that is funny about this scene that I don’t even know where to begin… First of all, what possesses someone to barge into a room like that if they’re not on fire? Does that actually help your cause? I think not since Kelly tells Alex that it’s weird… which it is… but it’s also weird how many times Kelly says weird. And it’s funny that she wants Alex to go out and reenter the room calmly. LOL… And finally, I love that Luann is behaving like she is the Queen of Sheba and responds as if her minion has just interrupted an important moment but, being a benevolent ruler, she allows the minion an audience. Ah, I’m glad I stayed awake for that.
Shhh… I’m Hunting Dresses
The custom dresses have arrived and Ramona & Sonja want to pick theirs first. So, they sneak out & Ramona continues her quest to be the most disrespectful client with which this designer has ever had the displeasure of working.
Rachel: After insisting that she get exactly what she wants in her design, Ramona decides to try on every single dress on the rack so she can get exactly what she didn’t design. Then she proceeds to do jumping jacks and act a fool in the caftan she commandeers in front of the designer… with rollers in her hair. If that isn’t classy, I don’t know what is.
Jill & Ramona decide they can’t live without each other and make peace… For the time being. You know this won’t last.
Melissa: Way to go!! Jill gets right back on that Ramonacoaster!! After some rapid fire “I’m sick about this”, “we’ve known each other too long” exchanges they’re back to good. I swear I’m going to get whiplash from these two!!
Rachel: This moment would have been way more touching if Ramona wasn’t wearing a negligee. And why was Jill returning Ramona’s bathing suit? Did you come all the way to Morocco without one… and then did you really borrow Ramona’s? I’m all about the sharing but not so much the sharing of things that have touched someone else’s vajayjay. Just a rule I like to follow.
When The Ramona’s Away….
We get a glimpse into what the boys are up to while the ladies are away. Pretty much I’m sure the producers had to coordinate this as I just don’t see Mario phoning up Simon for a few brewskis down at the local pool hall.
Melissa: We’re treated to a view into Boys’ Night where we see just how much Mario cares where his wife is… Dubai, right?
It’s Not Me, It’s You
Cindy tells us how she feels about cooking and food… Neither of which are of any interest to her.
Rachel: Um… what? You don’t understand the pleasure of food? Are you kidding me? Food is one of life’s greatest pleasures! I travel just to eat! If I visit a country and the food isn’t good, the country isn’t good. Yeah, I’m talking to you, Tahiti. I don’t miss a meal… ever. Life’s too short and there is a lot of cheese to be eaten. Well, this is just a disappointment. We were doing so well as new BFF’s but, unfortunately, I’m going to have to break up with you. Sigh… You think you know someone…
Au Revoir, Morocco
The ladies put on their new frocks, get their make-up done and head out for a farewell dinner. During dinner, they reminisce about all the fun they had.
Melissa: A toast to Harmony?? I’m hoping that’s the waitress’s name because there has been nothing harmonious about this trip if you ask me.
Rachel: Did we not get to see the fun? Was that edited out? That didn’t seem like the world’s most fun vacation. Then again, that’s a lot of estrogen to try and keep calm under one roof. I guess we can consider it a successful trip if no one ended up with a black eye.
Melissa: Next week: Herman Munster shoes (I’m calling LuAnn with the best line next week), Chapter 11 and the Ramonacoaster may finally derail!
Rachel: Can you please tell me why that episode needed to be over an hour? I thought it felt like the longest episode ever… and it was… and not because of their petty pettiness. Well, a little bit because of that. Until next week…