Melissa: You know I don’t like to fly solo (because Rach basically carries me the clever bitch), but every once and a while I get a tip that I have to give a watch. So for your reality viewing pleasure… Repo Games! If you’re new to it (I am a RG Virgin, so we’ll discover it together) you have the Repo Men Josh and Tom who instead of immediately repossessing a car will ask 5 questions of the “Owners”. Now here’s where it gets good! If they answer 3 correctly the car is theirs… paid in full… if not it’s going on the truck… bye-bye see ya.
We meet Josh and his first job of the day is repossessing Wilbur’s ’97 Honda Civic – now, I’m about 2 minutes into this show, and the contact listing contains: “Intel: likes making babies” I have no clue what the Intel is for, but man oh man, I’m in!! Wilbur’s son gets a little over-zealous attacking the pick-up truck… yes, the actual truck – we got ourselves genius here folks!! Now I’m treated to my first chuckle “I ain’t gonna touch your country-ass son” – Oh Josh… I’m yours!! Here we are with the questions for the wonder twins:
- What Athlete raises money by selling yellow Livestrong bracelets? Wilbur’s Son (1 of 8 from 1 of 3 of Wilbur’s baby mommas): Shaq
- What game show is hosted by Jeff Foxworthy (I’m thinking they’ll get this one)? Wilbur: Are you Smarter than a 5th grader – DING, DING!! Whoa… and a nipple flick from his son… I guess that’s the redneck version of a high-five??
- What are the names of Barack Obama’s 2 daughters? Oh, the boy introduces us to a new word; “richified” and I’m full on hooked if this is the brain-trust we get to witness!! Wilbur’s son: Destiny and Maria – um, “Destiny” is a richified name there Bubba? Here I thought it was a stripper name… oh well, what do I know.
- What were the 3 enemy countries of the U.S. in World War II? LOL, I’m calling it now – the civic is gone. As well as Bubba’s dream of starting a family of his own in that back seat… just like his daddy most likely did. Wilbur: Germany, Italy and France.
Well, Wilber is less than jubilant about his inability to answer his set of questions correctly and lets them know he’s outside without shoes to play their dumb show… um, the shoes are his concern, not the fact he hasn’t had a shirt on this whole time and looks like he’s about 5 months along. Sorry Wilbur.
Los Olivos, AZ
Next up is Tom and his search for Alfred’s ’95 Ford Focus – Intel: Loves the Simpsons. OK, let the games begin!! But not before we get a visit from the local… talent? Shall I just confirm I’m definitely all in??
- Who are 3 of the current hosts of “The View”? Alfred: Barbara Walters, Whoppi Goldberg and Star Jones – damn, boy couldn’t get props for knowing those 3?? Apparently Star Jones is no longer on the show… not that anyone reading this will actually care.
- What healthy stuff comes in butter, iceberg and romaine? Alfred: lettuce (he used to work in produce)
- How many digits are in a social security number? Alfred: I’m pretty sure it’s 9 – um… Alfred sweetie, take a sec and count yours out…
- What body part is the Venus de Milo statue missing? Alfred: the arms – which he knew from a Simpson’s episode people!! Well played Alfred, well played!! The car is YOURS!!
Tom is off looking for Joseph’s ’93 pick-up. Unfortunately for Joseph Linda his wife is home (Intel: colorful wardrobe and vocabulary), and a little pissed her truck is the one in question. Seems hubby took out a loan against it – without telling her… methinks he’s going to get of that colorful language and maybe a frying pan to the head when he gets home!! While “Joseph is the smart one”, Linda is up to the challenge of trying to save her truck.
- The average Adult Human has how many teeth? Linda: 32 – after literally reaching in to count hers… fair enough.
- “The Social Network” focuses on what Mark Zuckerberg creation? Linda: I don’t know, The Social Network? OOPS, wonder if she’ll post this on her FB wall.
- What are 2 names of Shrah Palin’s 5 children? Good Luck Linda, I only know Bristol. Linda: Brandalin, Teague, Ty, Tigger (yes, like the Pooh character) – she goes with Tigger and Brandalin.
- In what Shakespeare play will you find Lady Macbeth? Linda: “In a Shakespeare play” – I think someone was doing a little morning drinking, maybe some hair of the dog there Linda? Lady Macbeth is her final answer. As Beatrice goes bye-bye we’re treated to her colorful vocabulary… sadly beeped out.