One Sentence Summary: A plan for a trip to and lines are being drawn in the sand.
Melissa: This week the ladies make plans to travel to exotic locales so they can bitch about each other, and act like they are in high school on another continent – excellent!
Rachel: You must be kidding me. I’m pretty sure I already saw this movie and it was called Sex & The City 2. And, in case you missed it, it ba-lew. I have a feeling this is going to be just as much of train wreck with about none of the interesting fashion. I mean if you’re going to rip off the SATC ladies, at least rip off the stylist too. How fun would it be to see Luann in one of Samantha’s spiked-shoulder-padded-to-the-hilt dresses? But before we go there, let’s see what drama the ladies have in store for us tonight.
Fez Hats, Anyone?
Melissa: LuAnn has decided all the ladies need to take a vacation while her kids are with the ex – because they need to get away from all the stress and tension. Yeah LuAnn; stress, tension and drama will stay back at JFK while you trek all the ladies to Morocco. I love Alex’s reasoning for going: “I love Moroccan food, but Simon doesn’t like couscous” – WTF?! Just say yes you twit.
Rachel: Did she just say “Cuckoo to ‘CooCous'”? Seriously? As we know from the previews, Kelly does decide to go and I really just hope this is as deliciously crazy a trip as Scary Island was. I’m not sure that kind of lightning strikes twice in a lifetime but here’s hoping! Finger crossed…
Luann’s Sensitivity Training
Luann decides to try and cut some of the tension off at the pass by explaining the tact to Ramona.
Rachel: I think I understand Luann’s reasoning behind this lunch but it’s somewhat hard to talk to someone about sensitivity when they have no filter between their brain and their mouth. It’s clear that she was making no headway since Ramona lives in RamonaTown; population 1. I do love that Luann just gives up completely and asks her how she sleeps at night. I’ll tell you how… Pinot Grigio.
From Couscous to Hoohah
Sonja invites Kelly over to coach her Toaster Oven photo shoot where we once again find her missing important articles of clothing.
Melissa: Sweet Mary, Sonja is actually doing her toaster oven cook book?!?! Well, she’s doing a photo shoot for it but hasn’t exactly written the content… really? But the real story here is poor Kelly getting a sneaky-peek at Sonja’s chooch (va-jay-jay for those of you not familiar with my “business end” slang for lady parts)… apparently that’s gonna scar a girl from the mid-West for a while!!
Rachel: Ok, I’m confused… as usual. So, Sonja is snooty enough to berate Cindy for mixing with the help when she danced with her indentured servant but not snooty enough to remember to wear panties. Um, what? I guess maybe she missed that day in finishing school. Time for another Countess lunch?
Skincare With Supermodel Alex McCord
Here’s a skincare tip from Alex we bet you never knew. Sharing is caring.
Melissa: What a brilliant pearl of “modeling” wisdom… wash your face after wearing make-up. Thank you oh wise one. How have I lived these past 39 years without that dazzling insight?! I feel as though I have awoken from a slumber all and now I know… wash my face at night to keep it clean. Now, if she tells me it’s a good idea to brush and floss daily, I may have to erect a shrine to her genius.
You Say Monologue, I Say Monocle
Cindy renames a famous play and Kelly dumps some heavy baggage.
Melissa: “Have you seen the Vagina Monocles?” – thank you Cindy for the best line of the show. I’m sorry, but my mental interpretation is just all sorts of wrong!! So wrong I’ll get flagged by Rachel so we’ll just let it alone and give it my pick for the best line of the episode.
Kelly shares about a relationship with someone who hit her – OK, she gets a bit of a free pass on the cray-cray. I mean I’ll call crazy when I see it, but I’ll let a bit slide… until she gets on my nerves again.
Rachel: I wouldn’t flag you, my dear partner, as my brain went to the same place. I’m pretty sure I saw that on the shelves of the Adult Superstore next to Britney Speared. What was I doing at the AS? Um… Oh look! Over there! Something shiny!
Thug In A Cocktail Dress
Luann takes exception with Ramona for telling a designer not to give the other ladies clothes and decides to take Ramona down a few pegs by letting her know no one wants to go to Morocco with her.
Rachel: Finally! The “Thug in a cocktail dress line!” We only saw the preview for that a million times. I really had my money on Sonja. Oh well. Time to pay up. But, I gotta say as much as I can’t stand Ramona, Alex is right. She was on the warpath and looking to rip Ramona a new one. I find it rather humorous though that anyone would a) tell someone else they can’t wear the same designer as they and b) make a production of not being able to get clothes from a designer b/c someone was shallow enough to call dibs on them. Wonder if I can call dibs on Loehmann’s?
Real Housewives or Intervention
In the midst of a very moving charity event about bullying, Ramona is focused on where her next glass of wine is.
Melissa: Now, we’re off to Jill’s anti-bullying benefit to help raise awareness of the issue. Does anyone else see the interesting juxtaposition?? And the Ramonacoaster is ready to roll… barking for her Pinot Grigio (and by “her” I mean she brought her own stash). My prediction? This will not end well and the Ramona crazy eyes will come out. It’s almost getting painful watching this, and I’m about to write Bravo and tell them they need to take Ramona off the show so she can get some help.
Rachel: I don’t even know where to start with this. Ramona is the walking, talking, pinot pounding definition of inappropriate. I am with Melissa here. I think it’s time for Ramona to find a nice place to dry out. OH! I have it! Ramona should be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab! That would be epic. Could you imagine her in a room with the likes of Jason Davis & Rachel Uchitel? She’s be scaling that back wall in about 30 seconds. Book it!
Melissa: For the next 3 weeks we’re going to be treated to drama flying in Morocco!! Strap yourselves in and please hold onto the bar until Mr. Toads Wild Ride comes to a complete and full stop!!