Bethenny Ever After – “Skinny on the Skinny”

Melissa:  Here we are, the finale of BEA – and we’re following Bethenny on her bus tour (Skinnygirl Night Out) where apparently (according to the preview) she’ll be asked some hard questions about her In-Laws.  Now I don’t know how many of our like 5 readers are married (well, yeah I do, because I think I know most of you)… but the LAST thing you want to do is have people ask you questions about your ILs while you’re on stage in front of thousands… and on national TV!  Sometimes you can’t lie on your feet fast enough ;), but let’s see how Miss B handles herself, and more importantly, is she wearing her booty bumper??

Finally she has captured how I feel watching this show weekly.  Props to B on another movie quote thrown n there… she might be turning me around… I said MIGHT people!!

Q&A time with Bethenny – that’s just opening yourself up for a whole lot of awkwardness, but none of the ladies really asked the tough questions… sadly.  Next Stop:  Philly, and Jason’s parents will be in the audience… hold on to your booty bumpers kids, it’s gonna get fun now!!  Here we go – how to deal with ILs!  Again, a bit of a letdown damn it, I want snarky.  I want some “OMFG they make me crazy”!!

BAHAHAHAHA… Mamma Hoppy drops a “COC” bomb – that’s hilarious (oh, for those who don’t watch the show, it stands for Controller Of Chaos)!!  I gotta say, she’s pretty fortunate to have such good ILs – DAMN IT – soft underbelly again!!  What’s wrong with me??  Fortunately I’m about to spend some QT with the other Winey Bitch to sharpen the talons.

Wilmington show and B has to p… and there are no toilets apparently.  What is interesting is Bethenny’s freaking out about not having a bathroom – let’s all put the flashback glasses on and recall B’s tink in the ice bucket at her wedding.

SWEET MARY AND JOSEPH – I thought I’d be getting out of therapy this week!!  WHYYYYYYY?!  OK, here’s the deal for this week… Bethenny doesn’t care about money because she has her family… DAMN B – talk about soft underbelly showing!  This is why I hate watching therapy sessions.

Someone wants to buy Skinnygirl Margaritas… um, why?  Well, to be honest, I’m sure there are lots of people out there who like it.  What’s with the piano music / flashback montage of Bethenny making her way in this world… I swear, if they finish this montage with a Mary Tyler Moore hat toss I’m done!!  I will stop watching – crap, it’s the season finale, that’s no threat!

Jason's Balls, or his head - Bethenny will have them cut off if it suits herWrap Up:  Jason reveals the wedding album to Bethenny as a celebration of their family and all they have accomplished.  Of course JH isn’t going to let me down this episode by leaving out a lewd comment toward Bethenny!  It almost seems fitting that’s what we go out on.

Thanks for playing at home folks, appreciate the support for my solo effort and all the Booty Bumper Google searches.


2 responses to “Bethenny Ever After – “Skinny on the Skinny”

  1. Hey – my issue with Bethenny is simple, I cannot tell if she is hot or not hot. I look once and I’m all “ahh, pretty lady on TV” and then I blink and it turns to “SweetJesusmyeyesmakeitstopmakeitstop”. That is all.

    • First, nice try on the “not gay” – any man who loves shoes like you do… there’s a little something there… just sayin. Second, maybe if she weren’t so skinny and look like Skeletor in drag… I’m thinking 15 lbs would do her good.

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