One Sentence Summary: The cattiness ratchets up a few notches as the ladies head to the Hamptons for some fall fun.
Melissa: What does this week have in store for the ladies of NY… LuAnn throws and party to gather all the ladies together… again Bravo’s attempt at the Dinner Party heard round the world and Cindy’s birthday party. Hmmm… shouldn’t be too much drama right?
Rachel: If my wishes come true, Ramona will spend the majority of the episode getting her ass handed to her. I could appreciate her big mouth last season to a degree because she was… well, not Jill. But it seems she has lost control of any filter between her brain and mouth, which is great tv but horribly annoying at the same time. I think the blondes, in general, have really gone off the deep end this season… no offense to my lovely blonde partner, of course. If you combine the egos of Ramona, Alex & Sonja, you come up with enough hot air to fly a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon. I envision that in the shape of a giant Botox injection. Look, I know LuAnn isn’t exactly the poster child for modesty but she’s got at least one foot planted on solid ground. The Platinum Posse, on the other hand, is flying high above Manhattan. Anyway, my new BFF Cindy is waiting for me….
The World is My Oyster… And By World, I Mean Upper East Side.
Sonja lowers herself by meeting Cindy in Lower Manhattan at Vivienne Tam & making sure everyone knows it. She also lets Cindy in on her master plan to reunite lovebirds Ramona & Kelly.
Melissa: So, our newest Housewife Cindy broke her teeth but Sonja could give a shit less she’s made her way to Tribecca (apparently she needed a Sherpa). She wants to eat and meet Vivienne Tam – and not necessarily in that order. Now dizzy from starvation she hatches a plot for a Kelly-Ramona Summit – Housewives style. Why must these women always want everyone to be friends? Why must they channel their inner Rodney King “Can’t we all just get along??” Seriously, Sonja, there’s a reason “let sleeping dogs lie” came to be so popular you little pot stirrer!
Rachel: Remember last year when Sonja was the comic relief among the fighting females? I liked that version of her so much better. This Sonja is a giant pain in the ass… and I’m going to just guess here but she’s probably not the ice breaker she thinks she is. But all that aside, what in the hell is a Toaster Oven party? Do you really need to make anything aside from toast and Stouffers French Bread Pizzas in your toaster oven? Ok, maybe you can warm a Pop Tart in there too. Now, they’re just making up reasons to have parties. Have all the restaurants in the Greater New York area banned them from coming in?
…And The Horse You Rode In On
Even horses aren’t interested in putting up with Sonja’s crap.
Melissa: OK, I’m more about pedis with my lady friends, but it is the Hamptons I suppose. So, I haven’t been on a horse since I was about 12 (I think), but have no idea how Sonja claims to have ridden when she was younger. She has an awful seat!! That and no respect whatsoever for the horse she’s on, no wonder the bitch fell, how dumb can you be. “I’ve fallen off many horses” – no wonder riding like that!!
Rachel: Hee hee… Like that horse.
Leave Your Manners At The Door
LuAnn hosts a small cocktail party for the Housewives. The ladies brought gifts instead of manners.
Melissa: LuAnn is having all the ladies to the house to get together… “Can we all just get along?” Seriously, I think that’s the theme of this season. I can’t really complain, cause you know if there’s booze and the NY Housewives, there’s gonna be fun.
Skreeeeeeech… is Kelly actually proud that her ex-husband’s ex-wife is Elle Macpherson?? I’m so confused on so many levels… but then it is Miss Kelly and I rarely understand anything she says.
Ramona… Ramona – calling out LuAnn being a “Weekend Mom” – HAHA! Is it me or the ladies cattier this year than ever before? Did they all decide to get rid of their filters?? Did they collectively declare “I’m just going to put that in last year’s Hermes, because I don’t need either”. I also love that Ramona now expects everyone to have Pinot Grigio for her upon arrival. How does one just assume everyone should provide them with their beverage of choice to thank them for blessing them with their presence? Holy Crap Boozie McSwiggins, you have to chill!!
Rachel: I watched this entire scene with my hands rubbing my temples. It was that painful. Umm… Did Kelly really make that “Indian” sound after LuAnn thanked her for honoring her Native American heritage? Classy. You’re just lucky you are making inappropriate comments like that to a “Countess” because I’m pretty sure if this were Atlanta and you gave Ne Ne a t-shirt with MLK on it and then started singing “Mammy”, you’d find yourself missing a few teeth. Oh, now there’s an idea. An Atlanta-New York Housewives combo season! Sign me up for that!
Ok, I’m done with Sonja. Done. She isn’t invited to the Atlanta-New York mash-up. She’s has to go to Miami.
Kelly The Rat
Cindy tries to warn Kelly about the impending Ramonagate. To say thank you, Kelly turns around and rats her out to Sonja.
Melissa: Oh, may I please make a prediction here… Sonja and Cindy… it’s gonna get ugly – bring it ladies!!
Rachel: Sigh… Really, Kelly? You’re like a child that can’t control themselves. You could have had a conversation with Sonja without fully ratting out Cindy. I’m sure Cindy isn’t going to miss Sonja’s, um, friendship but that still ain’t cool. At the same time, I fully get Kelly not wanting to even deal with the situation… Even if Sonja “World’s Greatest Ice Breaker” Morgan is mediating.
Quote of The Week
LuAnn brings it again this week! She might consider comedy as a new career over that whole music thing…. although that Money Can’t Buy You Class song was pretty funny.
The Eruption of Mount Ramona
Ramona decides it’s time for her to confront Cindy’s brother and doesn’t care who gets in her way… Including Cindy’s 85-year-old father.
Rachel: Wow, Ramona. Way to make it all about you. Someone needs to explain the old adage about “a time and a place”. I think the pinot grigio may have short-circuited something in her brain because that was some kind of meltdown. I could smell the wires burning all the way down here in Florida. What a maniac… I mean that’s a lot of drama over cigars. Someone needs to drop a klonopin into her wine before she strokes out. Wait, that would be less fun for us viewers. Never mind! As you were…
Melissa: Looks like we’re in for more cattiness… and the details of the “Pecking Order” according to Sonja – I’m pretty sure she is at the top of that food chain… hate to spoil the surprise.
Rachel: Well, now that Melissa ruined the surprise pecking order, I’m just excited that Jill is back. Let the games begin.