Jersey Shore In 5 Words – Season Finale*

*All drinking is implied.

I feel like, since last night was the final episode of the season, I should give it the deference it deserves.  That being said, I’m going to give each cast member their own five words.  I know.  It’s insane.  Things are getting all crazy up in the Two Winey Bitches southern headquarters!  Let’s begin…

Deena – Cock blocks Vinny.  Called Angelina.

JWoww – Makes her boobs “Roger Only”.

Mike – Situation should be called Instigator.

Pauly D – Purpose has become background commentary.

Ronnie – Over Sammi.  Dumps her ass.

Sammi – Busted lying.  Ends up single.

Snooki – Explains “whiskey dick”.  Loves Vinny.

Vinny – Strikes out.  Might love Snooki.

Oh those crazy kids.  What is the Jersey Shore without them?  Besides cleaner…  I wonder if Italy knows what’s headed its way.  I wonder how you say “T-shirt time” in Italian… Viva Granate!


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