Tag Archives: Laura

America’s Next Top Model British Invasion – Week 10, Nicholas Tse

The models reach new heights with a photo shoot at the Macau Tower.

Rachel: Oh, how delicious… The previews make it look like tonight we have a scandal on the level of a Dynasty episode.  At least, that’s what they’re teasing us with.  And let me tell you Tyra, if you’re messing with us, I’m coming for you.  Well, I’m not actually coming for you because I’m far too lazy, but I am gonna bitch and moan all over this blog about it.  How you like that!?!?  Yeah, I know it’s probably the usual editing tricks to make it look like something dirty goes down with Laura, but a girl can dream, no?

Anywho, we’re back at the hotel celebrating Laura’s win for best photo.  Eboni is confused since the American team one, but there was only a gift for Laura at the hotel.  Is everyone on their own, she asks.  Are you for real?  Alisha says things are getting intense and catty… she’s guilty herself.  I just don’t know what she means by “getting”.  Pretty sure we’re there.  And we hear more about Laura & Eboni not liking each other.  OK, this is boring already.  Snooze.  We know, we know.  You both had rough childhoods.  You handle yours, Laura, with more grace than Eboni. Can we move along now?

And we move along to more of Alisha complaining.  She is pissed and frustrated for being in the bottom 2 when she was never in the bottom 2 on Britain’s Top Model.  Well, shit happens, sweetheart.  She further can’t understand her not excelling in this competition since she has a better body than the other girls.  She’s more high fashion than the other girls.  She shouldn’t be having any problems.  Well, there you have it.  Now, there’s just the small matter of taking good pictures.  Annaliese on the other hand feels her star is rising and is feeling pretty secure.  She thinks Alisha is deteriorating.  I guess they’re not talking to each other.

The girls travel to Hong Kong for their challenge and meet up with Ms. Jay.  They are introduced to one of the hottest movie stars in Asia, Nicholas Tse.  He’s also a pop star and not hard on the eyes.  He will be giving them an acting challenge today and the winner will get to come back to Hong Kong to be in his music video.  They will be doing a fight scene today.  Laura got paired up with Nicholas to spar since she got the best photo of the week.  The girls are all pulling

Nicholas Tse: Good moves. Bad jeans.

from their fighting experience, except for Sophie, who is from Oxford, which is not know for fighting…  I guess.  Eboni thinks it’s not fair that Laura gets to work with Nicholas.  Oh well, Eboni.  Life’s not fair.  Laura doesn’t care what you or anyone else thinks because she’s just having fun flirting her way through sparring.  Can’t blame the girl.  For the shoot, each girl has one practice run-through and one real take.  Eboni goes first and her fighting is good…. acting not so much.  Alisha did pretty good, but I think her acting was crap at the end.  Annaliese nailed it.  Laura pulled the old “let me take this ponytail down and shake out my hair” move, which was cheesy, but she did a pretty good job.  Last but not least, Sophie… She was crap in rehearsals but pulled off the fighting.  However, she flubbed her last lines.

Nicholas gets to pick the winner.  He finds good in everyone’s performance, but Laura wins the challenge.  She’s excited and runs into Nicholas’s arms.  Nice move, wink wink.  The other girls aren’t so exuberant.  In fact, when they get back to the hotel, the hateration goes off full-tilt.  Sophie makes a comment about her coming back and making little Nicholas babies.  Laura isn’t mad at that idea.  And that just makes the girls feel like they lost out because they didn’t get to spend time with him the way Laura did.  Wahhh…. Big babies.  And then Eboni has to put the cherry on the asshole cake by saying that Laura is sleeping her way to the top.  Um, did I miss something?  Who did she sleep with?  I guess no one because Laura goes off about that not being a cool thing so say.  And it’s really not cool at all.  It’s pure jealousy.  Alisha says that Laura saying she would  have sex with Nicholas means she really is a “slag”.  Oh come on!  He’s cute.  She was flirting.  It’s called girl talk.  We all do it.  Shit, I have an entire imaginary Hump Island filled with men I’d love to get a little freaky deaky with.  It’s called a fantasy for a reason.  We don’t dream about Conversation Island.  At least, I don’t.  And just as we suspected, the dramatic confrontation was more exciting in the previews than in reality.  Sigh…

On to the shoot… The girls are shooting at the Macau Tower, the home of the highest bungee jump in the world.  The girls will be strapped to a harness and do a photoshoot with Nigel out on the ledge over 1700 feet in the air.  To add to the drama, it’s raining and the wind is kicking.  Sophie starts crying and Alisha is in full panic mode.  Sophie is supposed to go first, but won’t go until she sees someone else go.  Laura volunteers to go first, which makes Sophie rethink her strategy.  Smart thinking.  She gets out on the ledge, but won’t let go of the safety cable.  She manages a decent shoot and breaks into sobs at the end.  Annaliese almost blows away but does a great job.  Laura is working Jay’s nerves because she’s so good.  Eboni has to do good because Laura hates her.  Um, ok.  She does a decent job.  Finally, Alisha has to make it happen.  She gets out there and works what she has, but I don’t know if it was good enough.

Hey Tyra, since we got screwed out of a real scandal, can we send both Alisha & Eboni home tonight?  I’m so sick of their whining.

Judging:  Nigel says that Annaliese had great archer moves.  Kelly thinks it’s a great warrior pose.  Nicholas says it’s dominant but not to the point of being desperate.  Alisha – Nigel says the pose is awkward but they went with it because it was the most editorial.  Tyra says she looks like she was on her way to church and stopped to say “Ooh child, it’s windy up in here.”  However, with a little more neck, it would have been high fashion.  Sophie – Nicholas says she doesn’t look petrified in any way.  Awesome gesture.  Kelly likes that she doesn’t see fear but doesn’t like the pose.  She’s not digging it.  Eboni – Nigel said there was a confidence that gave her so much opportunity to rock it.  There were so many shots where her body was good but the face wasn’t.  Kelly doesn’t love the pose which makes it hard for her to know the proportions of the dress.  Nicholas thinks it’s a gutsy pose.  Tyra likes the pose but she doesn’t know her angles for her face.  Laura – Kelly loves it.  It’s amazing and expansive.  Nicholas loves the face but thinks her legs could be extended.  Tyra thinks the picture is beautiful.  This is a model that knows her angles.  She feels her.

Best photo:  Laura

Bottom Two:  Eboni and Alisha

Eboni is eliminated but Alisha says she can’t stay.  She doesn’t want to be selfish when she knows she can do it on her own.  So, she won’t take it away from the other girls.  Um, okaaaaaaay.  If you could do it on your own, why are you there in the first place?  Other than you couldn’t do it on your own.  Tyra says she can leave, but Eboni is leaving with her.  She’s not saving Eboni by going home.  You know Eboni thought she was getting a second chance for a second there.  Of course, the CW also thought they were getting another week out of the season…

Bottom Line:  Well, I didn’t see that one coming.  I was really only joking when I asked if we could send them both home.  I didn’t realize I was so powerful.  Hmm… perhaps I should ask for the correct numbers for the Powerball…

About these ads

America’s Next Top Model All-Stars – Week 3

One-Sentence Summary:  The girls continue the quest to brand themselves by doing a photo shoot on stilts… Yeah.

My Thoughts: 

Manischewitz? That's not fierce.

Rachel:  So, tonight we get to have a very special conversation with Kristin Cavallari and do a photo shoot on stilts.  I feel like all my reality TV shows are melting together in a kaleidoscope of lunacy.  We have a Dancing With The Stars cast member on tonight’s show which also features a Project Runway Challenge re-imagined as an ANTM Photo Challenge.  It hurts my brain.  Then again, I have decided to dedicate my free time to watching reality television so I guess I only have myself to blame.  Well, it’s nothing a nice glass of… Oh wait, it’s Rosh Hashanah… a diabetes-inducing glass of Manischewitz can’t cure.  Ugh… This doesn’t bode well for me.  Wishing those that celebrate a Happy New Year filled with smizing and fierceness.

The BS Is Getting Deep

The girls get a special sit-down with Kristin Cavallari about the realities of being a star and having haters. The girls are rapt with fascination.

Kristin Cavallari shows up at the models’ house and is greeted with a chorus of “OMGs” and “No ways”.  She talks to the girls about what it’s like to be famous  and to have haters.  Just be true to yourself.  So, you know, if you’re a bitch.  Just be true to it.  M’kay… So, if I’m understanding this correctly, it’s cool to be a bitch if it makes you famous-ish?  Did I just accidentally happen into a Future Leaders of America meeting?  Sure sounds like it.

So, Tell Me A Little Bit About Yourself

The girls head to The Grove for an interview challenge with Mario Lopez. They are split into two teams. The team that shows Nigel, who is judging, the best representation overall of their personalities will win immunity this week. Yes, a Top Model first; an immunity challenge. Team one is Lisa, Angelea, Isis, Alexandria, Laura & Dominique. Team Two is Shannon, Bre, Allison, Camille, Kayla & Bianca. Lisa steps on her team members' toes which didn't help their overall blandness and they lose putting them up for elimination this week. Allison impresses NIgel the most and nets her team the win.

The girls head to The Grove, an outdoor mall and farmers’ market in LA.  Ahh, I spent many a weekend afternoon at that movie theater.  But I digress… They’re there to be interviewed by Mario Lopez, host of Extra. (And another reality crossover here as he also hosts H8r… Haven’t seen it?  Don’t bother.  Seriously.)  Immunity for 6 girls is pretty huge.  You go from an 8% chance of going home to a 17% chance of going home if you’re on the losing team.  That’s fancy math right there.  You’re welcome. During the challenge, Lisa cannot stop high-fiving her teammates which is horribly annoying.  Angelea channels her inner-bank-teller and gives a very professional answer.  Nigel calls her out and says he wanted to see the real Angelea.  She shows us the real her back in the limo when she goes off on a total bitch rant about the feedback.  I like her better when she’s playing it “professional”.  It’s less painful to my ears.

That’s a Tall Order

The girls are paired up (one with immunity and one on the chopping block) and put on stilts for today's photo shoot. Bianca's fear of heights threatens to ruin her day but she pulls it together and manages a great shoot with Lisa. Alexandria goes for broke with her poses and broke almost ends up being her ankle. The rest of the girls, minus Kayla and Camille who can't figure it out, do a respectable job.

Oh right stilt walkers.  I forgot it was the Project Runway challenge.  This is hilarious.  It’s like watching models on acid.  They’re falling everywhere.  Ha!  Meanwhile, Bianca is in the bathroom crying because she’s scared of heights.  She does realize she’s on stilts and in a harness, not dangling from the side of a skyscraper right?  Mr. Jay calls Shannon out for being ok in her outfit which looks like underwear.  I love him for that.  Shannon says she knew he’d say something but it’s a bathing suit so it’s ok by her.  Oh, the hypocrisy drives me crazy.  You are either showing your body or you’re not.  It’s not the vehicle.  It’s the view.  There is no argument on earth that is going to convince me that a leather and mesh bikini is in some way more modest than a pair of boy shorts and a tank top.  She has to go.  I’m ready for her to go… But not tonight since she is safe.  Damned immunity!

Say What?

Camille & Isis are teamed together and practice their poses.

Camille says she doesn’t understand how a transgendered woman could do better than a “real” woman.  How open minded of you, Camille.  Damn, people are ignorant.  Ok, ready for her to go home too but once again I am foiled by the damn immunity.  Grrr….

I Would Like To Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Panel

Angelea and Allison are called for their critique but Angelea needs to get something off of her chest first. She wants to understand why Nigel gave her the feedback he did at the Extra Challenge since she thought she was being professional.

Wow, I had a moment there when she stopped the judges from discussing her photo.  I was all white-knuckle gripped on my computer waiting for the impact from the crash.  But Angelea pulls off the question without being an ass and gets the explanation from Nigel that she was wanting.  Well, color me pleasantly surprised.  Last time Angelea went rogue at panel, we were subjected to her “star entering the club” dance.  As if she hadn’t been gifted enough at panel, she then learns that the subtle but powerful “booty tooch”.  Banner day, Angelea.  Well, her critique wasn’t great so maybe not “banner”…

Panel In Under 2 Minutes

Click here to see the final photos.

Tonight the girls are judged on their photos and how well they embody their personal brand.  Yes, I started my review last week with the exact same sentence.  Odds are you’ll see it again next week.  The bottom two, Isis & Angelea, aren’t the worst in the bunch (those honors go to Camille & Kayla) but they are the bottom two of those girls who don’t have immunity.  So, they face elimination and Isis goes home.  I’m sad to see her go, mostly because of Camille’s comment.  Well, that and I actually do like Isis.  At least she goes out in dramatic Black Swan fashion.  Alexandria and Allison are the best photos of their respective groups.  And Dominique wins the Andre Leon Tally “I want this in my salon” Award for the week.  Personally, that’s where I’d like to be… No not on the wall, but in the salon.  You know it’s so fabulously cozy there…

Bottom Line: I’m starting to lose the love for Kayla.  She’s lost all traces of her personality.  Wonder what’s going on there.  All I know is that she needs to work that out sooner than later or she’s not long for this show.