Tag Archives: Hines Ward

Dancing With The Stars – Finale

Posted on May 25, 2011 by | 2 Comments

One Sentence Summary:  It’s over!!!

Black & Gold Representing!

My Thoughts: 

First, I’d like to thank all of those that supported me through this tough time.  I really feel like the pain was worth it… Wait, I don’t know who won yet so I retract that statement.  It might not have been worth it if Hines doesn’t win that stinking mirror trophy.  I’m still slightly in shock that I’ve actually watched an entire season of Dancing With The Stars.  That is what true Steelers love looks like.  It’s real and it’s deep.  I wouldn’t do this for anyone else… Well, that’s not true.  I’d tune in for Christian Bale.  However, unless he makes some hideously bad decisions in his career, we can pretty much guarantee that isn’t going to be happening.  Would be awesome though if he had one of his Terminator meltdowns on Bruno though…  Don’t you kind of want to see that?

Anywho, we’re freestyling it tonight.  I am told this means the pros can do pretty much anything they want.  I feel like I’m about to get duped a la “the instant dance” again.  Hmm, I remain suspicious… But I’m ready to go.  Let’s get this party started… and by started, I mean ended.

Chelsea Kane

Mark & Chelsea dance to Hip Hip Chin Chin… Yeah, I don’t know either.

Carrie Ann came to rehearsal to help them out and told Chelsea she was too perky.  Ya think?  Before I can even get to the dancing though, I once again have to comment on the outfit.  At what point was it a good idea to wear fringe in the color of diarrhea?  Oh stop it.  You know I’m right!  That color is hideous.  And though I do love Mark, I don’t love him enough to want to see his nipples.  Not to mention that he’s fully doing the pucker now!  I seriously will not miss that.


Freestyling to Latinos by Proteyo Uno

Time for the first freestyle of the night…  You know I think Mark is the most creative choreographer of the pros so this ought to at least be interesting.  Umm… so yeah.  That was… interesting.  It was also a crazy mess.  I don’t really understand what that was.  But apparently I’m alone because the judges were all excited about it and gave them a perfect score for a total of 59 on the night.  I reject this totally. 

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie & Maks dance to Magalenha by Sergio Mendes… What’s with these music selects?

Bruno came to help Kirstie and Maks.  While I don’t often advocate for more screen time for Bruno, it did prevent us from watching another Kirstie meltdown.  I really do like Kirstie but I also am at the end of my rope with the drama.  While I recognize that if it were me in that studio, I’d be just as bad if not worse.  Much much worse.  But that’s why I am on this side of the tv screen being Judge Judy.  Never mind all that though because Kirstie looks great!  New blonde locks and no leggings!  It’s really amazing that she’s 60 years old.  And btw, Maks’s nipples… less mad at them.

Perfect by Pink accompanies Kirstie & Maks for the freestyle.

Well, The Bickersons are back for freestyle rehearsal and so are the leggings…. but at least with bare feet this time.  Their dance started off really nicely but I felt like they got a little lost after Kirstie whipped off her monk dress.  Yeah, I was caught as off-guard by that as you.  And no, no lift jokes here.  Too obvious and not as funny since she’s dropped the weight.  I leave those jokes to the late night talk show hosts.  The judges are either in a good mood or scared of the Scientology contingency and give them 27 for 54 total on the night.   

Hines “So Money” Ward

Hines & Kym go old school with Puttin’ On The Ritz.

Franco, Bettis & Swann, oh my!  The Steelers are in the house! You gotta love the Steeler Nation.  Always representing!  I’ll say it again… real and deep.

Len was the coach for Hines & Kym (As if you couldn’t have guessed that… about as hard to figure out as a Nancy Drew Mystery).  We actually got to see the funny side of Len and I’m gonna say, I like it.  I’d have a cocktail or two with Len.  Shocking I know.  I guess Kym is feeling better since she’s back to wearing as little as humanly possible.  Regardless, I gotta say my boy looked rather dapper as he twirled around the dance floor in his tux.  I loved it.  Judges loved it.  Everyone’s happy.

Marching it out freestyle to Dancing Machine & I Want You Back.

For the freestyle, Kym and Hines actually take the assignment seriously and take the only real risk of the evening by doing a drum line dance with a live marching band.  A live marching band!  Hells yeah they did!  Can you say “rad” boys and girls?  I know that you can.  This is what the freestyle should be.  And maybe I’m a little biased… just a smidge… but the judges finally agree with me and reward them with a perfect score giving them 59 on the night!  This trophy is in the bag.

Side bar… did Kym’s accident make her crossed-eyed or have I just not noticed all season?

Results Show

Yeehaw!  The finale is here!  Wait… wait… wait.  They’re all dancing again?  Seriously?  Come on!  Crown someone already.  I figured they were going to waste my time with a bunch of nonsense (and I was right… does anyone need another Black Eyed Peas performance?) but you’re killing me here.  Of course they probably said this was happening last night but you know how Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke are like Charlie Brown’s teacher to me.  Besides, I’ve only poured myself enough rosé to last one hour.  Not two.  Normally, I’d be happy to see my boy Chris Jericho and be out of my seat getting my Go-Go’s on but let’s cut to the chase here.  Just give Hines the farkakte mirror ball already!

Hold on… one second… did I just see an ad for a Charlie’s Angels TV series?  Shame on you abc.  Shame.

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled cynicism.  So, now that I have sat through an hour of the eliminated “stars” dancing and the torture of Josh Grobin (not my favorite “surprise” ever) singing “You Raise Me Up”, it’s time for the remaining finalists to perform their favorite dances from the season.  All three finalists earned perfect scores.  Really?  So, what you’re telling me is that the entire show could have been 15 minutes…

But none of that matters because Hines wins!  Hines wins!  Let me say it again… Hines wins!  Woohoo!  This makes losing the Super Bowl less painful… Ok, maybe not but it’s still awesomeness!  One more glass of rosé for everyone!  It’s only slightly awkward that I’m the only one here.  Eh, a celebration is a celebration.  Go Hines!

Well peeps, until next season… I’m not saying I’m watching but I’m not saying I’m not… Is it too early to start petitioning for Franco Harris to be a contestant?

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Dancing With The Stars – Week 8 & 9

Posted on May 24, 2011 by | Leave a comment

One Sentence Summary:  I am declaring war on WordPress.

Bruno Feels My Pain

My Thoughts:  Hmm… My thoughts…  What am I thinking right now?  I’m thinking WordPress can suck it!  I had just finished my way late review of Weeks 8 & 9 when it disappeared into thin air just as I hit the “Publish” button.   Yeah, you read that right.  Gone.  Poof.  Hilarity thwarted.  Someone please explain to me how that happens.  Actually don’t.  The damage to my spirit has been done.  Anywho, after the initial shock wore off, I knew that I was faced with the daunting task of rewriting the entire thing.  So, I did what any good responsible blogger would do… I closed my computer, went to a sushi dinner with a friend & drank lots of sake.  Kampai!

So, I really did want to recreate the post as I believe it’s some of my best work but, let’s be honest, I’m far too lazy for that.  Besides, I’m just getting back to speed after the Winey Bitches First Annual Company Retreat.  Consuming all those poolside Rum Runners and Piña Coladas is grueling work, people.  You don’t just bounce back from that kind of effort.

So, I offer you a few notes on Weeks 8 & 9 while we wait for tomorrow’s results…

Week 8

First and foremost, I was confused by “instant dances”.  I was thinking we were going to see a dance-off a la Britney & Justin where everyone just does their own thing… you know, instantly.  But no, we just saw couples dance rehearsed dances to songs they didn’t hear until 20 minutes prior.  It was more like “Somewhat Off-Tempo” dances. Way to oversell it DWTS.

Second, I spent the majority of the show more fascinated with the clothing than the dancing.  Like this gem:

Aside from the fact that the double pucker almost made me pass out, I don’t even know what to do with her outfit.  Look, I’m in no position to be knocking on someone’s lack of knockers but I’m thinking this wasn’t the best choice of top for Chelsea.  She looks like a kid playing dress-up in her stripper mom’s closet.  But those judges just love them some Princess Petunia Pucker and she gets the highest scores of the night.

But I did love this:

So pretty and floaty and girlie and peach.  Usually, Kym is one stitch away from a massive wardrobe malfunction so this was a nice change.  And being that the duo did not divert from their usual ballad, it worked.  I’m just happy that their “instant” dance was upbeat and we could see Hines actually get his groove on.  I would like to request they do their final dance to the classic hit, Rumpshaker. 

Then there was this:

Really?  Red vinyl?  Yes, I get the homage to Britney’s “Oops I Did It Again” video since they were, in fact, dancing to Brit Brit but this dress is just “Oops”.  I was so distracted by it that I almost missed Romeo plug his latest project.  Thankfully, he had another crack at the mike after their second dance so I was quickly back up to speed on the career track.  Whew, that was close.

But nothing could prepare me for this:

What…the… F…. is that?  Holy Ghost of Denny Terrio, Batman!  Please tell me that is not a mesh mock turtleneck!  I refuse to believe it.  It’s bad.  So so so bad.  All I see when I look at this is Dorothy Zbornak (aka Bea Arthur) on her way to a formal event with the other Golden Girls.  Ralph Macchio should never ever be shopping in Dorthy Zbornak’s closet.  I think that’s a pretty safe rule.  It didn’t help that the Karate Kid was suffering from a bum knee.  I bet, if they would have somehow incorporated the crane kick into the routine, their scores would have been significantly higher.  Just sayin’…

And since I’ve now gone through the whole show even though I said I wasn’t going to, might as well cover Kirstie…

I love that she ratcheted up the sexy with some fishnets.  She looks great here.  Then came dance number 2 and Kirstie was back in leggings.  Who did she piss off in the costume department?  It’s not nice.  Not nice at all.   Stop putting her in leggings!  Maybe the seamstress is forced to sit through Maks & Kirstie’s rehearsals and has just snapped from all their bickering.  I know it’s pushing me over the edge.  I’m not sure if it’s more apparent now that Kendra and her incessant whining is gone but enough already.  Maks is officially now on the “Shh Baby Don’t Talk” list.

Then there was the Results Show…

I was so excited when I heard that Adele was performing.  Finally, some really great new music!  Then, I hear the words “Michael” and “Bolton”.   Um, did we just get hurtled back to 1984?  Well, according to Ralph’s mock turtleneck, the answer would be yes.  Thankfully, I had DVR’d the Results Show so I could get my soul on with Adele and then fast forward on triple-time through Bolton to the results.  Not surprisingly, Romeo was sent packing.  You know there’s a “Where art thou Romeo” joke here but even I can’t be that cheesy.  We’re now down the Final Four.

Week 9

Ok, I have to admit that I didn’t see Week 9 as I was still Company Retreating.  I tried to watch it online but it wouldn’t load.  The ads for the delicious Magnum Ice Cream Bars loaded but not the show.  Like I needed any more incentive to eat ice cream.  But I digress… I then tried the next best thing which was reading the show recaps on the abc website.  Yeah, that was enlightening.  So, I’m not even going to waste your time trying to write a review of a show I didn’t see.  I will just jump to the results…

Well, actually first I need to comment on Kirstie’s outfit.  From the waist up, she looks fantastic.  From the waist down, leggings.  Again.  Come on!  You can’t see it in this photo but the way the legging cuts her ankles next to the t-strap shoes is just not flattering.  Can someone please help a sister out?  Ok, now that I’ve gotten that off of my chest, the elimination….  It’s wax off for the Karate Kid.  We all know I’d rather it be Chelsea but, at this point in the competition, anyone that leaves is just one person closer to Hines winning the disco ball… I mean mirror trophy.

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Dancing With The Stars – Week 7 & Results Show

Posted on May 5, 2011 by | Leave a comment

One Sentence Summary:  This week we’re treated to Ballroom Greats Week and a 4th Judge.

Ballroom Great Tanorexia Burns

My Thoughts: 

Rachel:  Let me start by saying that I was none too pleased to be yanked from my 24-hour news watching to tune into Ballroom Greats Week.  It’s like walking out of a horror movie into a dance scene from High School Musical… it’s jarring.  Then to add to my fragile state, I find out there are team dances and we have a fourth judge this week; Donnie Burns, Ballroom Great… Hence, this week being called Ballroom Greats.  He sounds like a character from The Simpsons.  Kinda looks like one too.  I also see we’re back to two hours.  Come on now.  I was really enjoying that extra 30 minutes.  What filler are you going to throw at me this week… Oh right, ballroom greats.  Zzzzzzzz…….  Ok, let’s get this over with.

Team Chelsea

Chelsea, Romeo & Ralph are up first for team dances.   They are cha-cha-ing to Lady GaGa’s “Born This Way.”  

     

Team dancing is kind of funny.  It’s kind of a mess.  That’s why it’s kind of funny. The two scoring leaders from last week, Chelsea & Hines, were named team captains and got to choose their teams.  This team considers themselves the young team…. Um, have you met Ralph Macchio?  I would like to put in a request that, in my next life, I come back with Karina’s body.  While I recognize that actually getting off the couch and moving my body might help in achieving that goal in this life, it seems much easier to just wish for a better body in the next one.  So, wishing it is!  They did ok.  Scored 30 out of 40.

Team Hines

Hines, Kirstie & Kendra make up team two and rock it out to Ke$ha’s “We R Who We R”.

Ok, let me just get right down to it here.  Why on earth would Hines choose Kendra over Romeo for his team?  Historically, a member of the team with the lowest score goes home.  So, now I have to hope Hines gets a lower score so Kendra goes home?  That ain’t cool.  And no, I’m not willing to put up with Kendra for another week.  I’m over her and her farting in rehearsal this week didn’t help matters.  I love that Hines called her out for not saying “excuse me” but really, at this point, there is no excuse for her.  I will say that hearing someone else sing Ke$ha made me realize that half of why I can’t stand her songs really is Ke$ha herself.  The other half is the song itself.  And I say “song” not “songs” because they are all essentially the same.  Finally, Kirstie looks awesome but I’m not sure it was the most fair thing in the world to put her in Pepto pink next to the other two ladies.  Anywho, they also scored 30 points so it’s anyone’s game this week.

We Interrupt This Ballroom Dance For A News Break

Diane Sawyer pops in to keep us up on the Bin Laden news.

Remember 3 paragraphs ago when I said changing gear from news to reality TV was jarring?  Well, tossing me back into the serious nature of the news when I’ve shifted the command center engines down into neutral isn’t much better.  As my friend Brian so eloquently stated, “Can I have a little fantasy in my reality?”  Seriously.  Pretty sure he decided to watch reruns of the Royal Wedding while I trudge through for you.  Who’s the martyr now?

Chelsea Kane

Chelsea & Mark dance to “Ghosts ‘N Stuff” by Deadmau5.

Before I get into my usual Chelsea bugs me tirade, I must give credit where credit is due.  Mark picks some awesome music.  Deadmau5 on Dancing With The Stars?  That’s awesome.  Totally makes up for Ke$ha (That dollar sign is starting to piss me off).  Mark’s mom (aka Shirley Ballas, Latin Dance Champion) came to rehearsal and tried to help Chelsea channel her dark side.  I kept watching and thinking, if you really want to get her to stop smiling, just tell her to pucker.  It’s one or the other during her dancing.  The judges were split over the edgy Paso Doble.  Could Chelsea be in trouble? Nah, scores weren’t bad.

Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra & Louis dance to “Jealousy” by Billy Fury.  Who?

It’s too bad Kendra already irritated me tonight because she actually made it through a rehearsal without her usual bitching and moaning.  But alas, detente was not to be.  Kendra trained with Ballroom Great Luca Baricchi who told her that you have to hold a body close and feeeeel it to be a good dancer.  That’s an awesome bar trick.  I wonder how many ladies (or gents?) have fallen for that one.  Kendra’s dance was pretty stiff tonight… and that’s not a euphemism.  Could this be the week?

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie & Maks get their Jive on to “La Bamba”. 

It seems like Kirstie & Maks genuinely like each other and have a great relationship.  So, I wonder why he would let her wear those heavy dark leggings?   Flattering is not a word I would use.  First the Pepto pink and now the purple people eater.  Why?  It’s just mean.  She would have been cute in a nude stocking…  And that, friends, is officially the first and, I hope, last time I ever recommend a nude stocking for anything ever.  The dance was fun but not the greatest.  I hope Kirstie doesn’t knock Kendra out of contention for going home.

Ralph Macchio

Ralph & Karina kick up their heels to “Pencil Full of Lead” by Paolo Nutini.

Ralph started feeling the bones rebelling this week in rehearsals.  Looks like Daniel-San needs to get acquainted with some Ben-Gay.   I do love Karina’s outfit.  Add that to the wish list.  So, when I come back in my next life with her body, I’d like to be in that outfit… and since we’re asking, could I be dancing cheek-to-cheek with Christian Bale?  Too much?  Eh, girl’s gotta have dreams.  Karina & Ralph rocked it out and net the best scores of the night.  Viva Le Senior!

Hines “Oh Captain, My Captain” Ward

Hines & Kym get intense with “La Leccion de Tango” by Fred Frith & Sally Potter.

Luca showed up at Hines & Kym’s practice but no one cares because the real guest of honor was Jerome “The Bus” Bettis!  I’m pretty sure I yelled “The Bus!  Woo!” to an empty room.  I love that the Steelers are representing!  Might be the closest I get to a football season this year.  Sad sad sad… But I digress.  Hines rocked it out as usual and Kym was scantily clad as usual.  I swear she’s one hook stitch from dancing naked.   I have no idea if there is something called a hook stitch but it sounded good, no?  Hines ties for top score of the night with a 10 from Bruno.  Yeah, boy!

Romeo

Romeo & Chelsea samba to Michael Franti & Spearhead’s “Say Hey (I Love You)”

Wow, that was just awkward.  I’m physically uncomfortable.  Seems Mama Ballas has the roar of the cougar inside of her.  She was all up on our boy Romeo even calling him a “naughty boy”.  Okaaaaaay…. Can we get on with the show now, Mrs. Robinson?  I liked Romeo’s dance but didn’t really understand the costume theme here.  It was like slutty Can-Can girl meets the army dude by a campfire?  Happy to hear suggestions on this one because I don’t get it.  The judges didn’t get the dancing & he’s in the bottom with Kirstie.  He may be in trouble.

Results Show

Well, I’ve got say that the talent this week didn’t piss me off.  James Blunt, Nikki Minaj and Wayne Brady.  Not a bad crew.  But that’s really irrelevant because KENDRA WENT HOME!!!!  Kirstie and a surprising Chelsea made up the bottom 3 but KENDRA WENT HOME!!!  It only took 7 long weeks of suffering and doing nothing about it like voting but she’s gone.  She’s gone.  She’s gone.  Happy dance.  I was going to say something nice about her saying she was going home to be a mom until she spent the rest of the show gyrating like a two-dollar hooker.  Peace out, Kendra.  The air is already fresher.  Next on my list, Lemony Snicket.

Bottom Line:  Happy endings make happy Rachel.  Next week is Instant Choreography Week.  I have no idea what that means but it sounds like a disaster…. Bring it on!

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Dancing With The Stars – Week 6 & Results Show

Posted on April 28, 2011 by | Leave a comment

One-Sentence Summary:  It’s Guilty Pleasures Week which scares and excites me at the same time.

My Thoughts: 

DWTS's Bruno Tonioli sharing more of him than necessary in Elton John's "I'm Stil Standing" video.

Rachel:  Well, this week’s show accomplished something no other entity has been able to accomplish… For the first time ever, I listened to “MmmmmBop” in its entirety.  I don’t feel good about this.  How was I to be prepared for Hanson being sprung on me like that?  I’m sure Tom Bergeron announced it at some point but he and Brooke Burke sound a lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher on my TV.  But, as they say, every gray cloud has a silver lining…. and boy was this week’s silver lining glittery!   Behold the spectacle that is Bruno’s starring role in Elton John’s 1983 video for “I’m Still Standing”.   I gotta tell you, I’m still laughing.  Not many things can leave me jaw-on-the-floor-hand-over-mouth speechless.  That did.  Friends, that is my reward for suffering through this show for 6 weeks now.  I actually looked the video up on YouTube after tonight’s episode to get another good laugh out of it.  Ahhh… good times.  Oh right… dancing.  Sorry. 

Once Wasn’t Enough

Bwhahahaha!  I’m sorry.  I had to have more crack at this.  Oh, the 80′s were so amazing.  I so badly want to go to Cannes and shimmy down the Croisette singing this song now.  But dreams aside, let’s get to the real issue here… There is waaaaaaaay more information being shared in these outfits than I ever needed to know about Bruno.  Ever.  Including the fact that we all now know that Bruno waxes.  No man can pull of the French-cut banana hammock without manscaping.  For reals.  He should have been with us for the Real Housewives of New York this past week.  He could have given us the male point of view.  I said “male” not “masculine”.

Ok… ok… back to the show…

Kirstie Alley

Kirstie and Maks dance to Britney’s “…One More Time”

   

You know I want to rip this song choice apart but, dammit, it really is a guilty pleasure, isn’t it?  Come on, you know you’re out there singing “Oh baby baby…” in that sexy little voice.  This was fun.  I enjoyed myself but, you know me, I do have to take point with something.  What on earth would make Maks choose brown polyester pants with the satin stripe?  Not a good look.  Not a good look at all.  It reminds me of something my dad and his brothers wore to one of the brother’s weddings….  Let’s see if I can find that little gem.  Ah yes…  Behold!

‘Nuff said.  (Sorry, Dad.)

Chris Jericho

Chris & Cheryl rock it out to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’”.

Yes!  Journey!  Wait, is Journey a guilty pleasure?  Or is it just a pleasure?  Think about it…  Either way, I’m loving it!  That Chris Jericho is really trying to steal this girl’s heart…. and it’s working.  Unfortunately, his dancing this week was sort of brick-ish.  Not good.  The judges scores indicated they agreed.  That ain’t good.  I’m worried about my boy this week.

Romeo

Romeo & Chelsea dance to “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.

Uh, I have no response for that song choice.  See, as Journey is just a pleasure.  This song is just guilty.  There is nothing pleasurable about it.  And color me surprised that Romeo chose it (and that he admits to Titanic being his favorite movie).  His pre-dance video was pretty fun this week.  He seems to be getting more comfortable with this whole dance show situation.  You know, halfway through the season.  The dance was spot-on even if the audio portion was painful.  He even sealed the dance with a lingering kiss at the end (Are these two an item?).  Carrie bestows the first 10 of the season on Romeo.   

Chelsea Kane

La Snickett & Mark are “Walkin’ On Sunshine” with Katrina & The Waves.

Ok, here’s the thing.  Mark Ballas is by far the best choreographer on the show.  He really pushes the envelope and uses his imagination to keep us entertained.  That was a fantastic and fun routine… to the point where I almost forgot that I cannot stand that song.  It’s so bad that it makes me break out in a rash.  Yes, I dislike it that intensely.  But I digress.  It just bums me out that I cannot get 100% on board with Mark because his partner DRIVES ME BANANAS… and this week is dressed like a banana.  Coincidence?  I know I drone on about the pucker but it’s actually the thing causing the rash this week…. Yes, that’s the cause!  Don’t look at me like that.  Pucker aside, the dance was great and Carrie Ann bestows the second 10.  Magic happens twice.

Kendra Wilkinson

Kendra & Louie shimmy their way through “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.

Yes, that’s Bruno waiving a dollar at Kendra.  And yes, that’s what her dance this week modeled itself after.  The only thing missing was a pole.  I give it to Louie though.  He finally figured out how to choreograph a dance that Kendra could pull off.   She did actually crack a joke during rehearsals this week….But I still find her to be miserable and whiny.  I want her to go home.  I wish she’d go home.  Please send her home.  I’m begging here.

Hines “No Guilt. Just Pleasure.” Ward

Hines & Kym glide around the floor to Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road”.

Look at that poise!  No seriously.  Take a minute.  Look.  Admire.  Enjoy.  While I take issue with his pants choice, Hines worked the floor again this week.  And seriously, he practices at home with a pillow?  Does it get any more adorable than that?  I think not.  He earned straight 9′s from the judges.  I think he would have gotten a 10 had they maybe pushed the envelope a bit.  Well, I think that because the judges said it… but I agree!  He didn’t make the top of the leader board this week but he’s not going anywhere.

Ralph Macchio

Ralph & Karina close the night with “Gonna Make You Sweat” by C+C Music Factory.

Karina took a pretty big tumble this week but that wasn’t the awkward part of this number.  The Sgt. Pepper outfit while dancing ballroom to a club hit was the awkward part of this number.  After last week’s rodeo mixed with ballroom catastrophe, I’m not sure this was the way to go.  This was way more wax off than wax on.  But I give him props for the way he comforted Karina afterwards.  That was most cool.  His scores were not great… He may be in trouble here.

Results Show

As I refuse to give this show 3.5 hours of my life in a week, I did something productive during the first hour of the results extravaganza.  I watched Repo Games on Spike TV.  If you haven’t yet witnessed this train wreck, I highly highly recommend it.  It’s a game show mashed together with car repossession.  How brilliant!  But what do you expect from the producers that brought us Jersey Shore?  I did catch a bit of Rock Of Ages (I keep calling it Rock of Love) but couldn’t take more than a few seconds of Constatine Maroulis. What’s the appeal?  I don’t get it.

And while I’d like to wax poetic about the extremely guilty pleasure that is New Kids on the Block and the bizarre “Stand By Me” routine by the Macy’s dancers and the really beautiful dance performed by Mark & Karina to “I’ll Stand By You” by Glee’s Pia Toscano… Yeah, I know it’s American Idol but she’s better suited to Glee and will be cast as Rachel’s rival next season… You heard it here first… Fine, I totally made that up… Wait, where was I?  Oh yeah, I’d be totally into giving you the who’s who and what’s what about that but I’m far too busy being PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSED.  Really America?  You sent my Chris home?  Kendra stays and Chris goes?  Where is the justice in that?  Feh… I’m going to go crack open a bottle of Conundrum and plot my revenge.

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