One Sentence Summary: The tug-o-war over Tamra’s BFF-ness continues South of The Border.
The JewBu ones don’t look like that!
Rachel: Oh boy, I am scared to watch tonight’s episode. Not only do we have our usual parade of bad behavior, but we’re mixing in tequila, strippers and penis-shaped party favors. I’m pretty sure that is the recipe for a disaster. A blinding, mind-numbing disaster. Throw in some Gretchen whining and Vicki woohoo-ing and I’m not sure there’s enough wine in the world to make this tolerable. Not to mention that I’m on the wagon for the next two weeks. Yeah, that’s right. Even a Winey Bitch needs a break every now and again. In this case, I’m preparing myself for a weekend in Key West where the four basic food groups are: liquor, beer, wine and late-night pizza. But I may just need a little nip from the bottle tonight. Just a small one…
Gretchen & Heather who?
Rachel: We rejoin the trio partying down the road, wondering where Heather & Gretchen are. Um, in the limo wondering where you are. But that question is quickly forgotten as they enter Andale’s and jump up on the bar for some Coyote Ugly dancing. Now we play the compare/contrast game as we go back & forth Continue reading
Posted in Housewives, Real Housewives of Orange County
Tagged Reality TV, Tamra Barney, Gretchen Rossi, Alexis Bellino, Bravo, RHOC, Slade Smiley, Vicki Gunvalson, Heather Dubrow, orange county, lydia mclaughlin
One Sentence Summary: It’s bachelorette party time, but not everyone is whooping it up.
I do not wear too much make-up! I wear the recommended weekly allowance… daily.
Rachel: Yep, I fully blew off last week. I watched it. I think. No, I did. I just never managed to put my thoughts on paper… or Internet as the case may be. I can’t say why other than I’m already bored of these ladies. They need a cast shake-up. The most interesting thing about Lydia is her mom… whom I love, but I’m not feeling a great surge of excitement with her addition. And I expected more from the return of Lauri. But she was a big flatline too. Maybe this week, when she gives Gretchen the 411 on Vicki’s past dalliances with partners of the female persuasion, we’ll get some juice from these dried-up oranges. I’d rather have Jeanna back, personally. She’s a guaranteed good time. OK, let’s see what these ladies have for us this week. Maybe this foreshadowing of a kinder, gentler Tamra will come true. HA HA HA HA… yeah, I just heard that in my head.
An Offer You Can’t Refuse
In the role of Alexis’s gatekeeper: Lydia.
Rachel: So here’s a random thought: I never cut up cheese for my guests. I serve the block uncut. I just think it’s nicer for someone to cut the piece they want. Is there an etiquette rule on that? Well, I’m sure Tamra knows the carb count for each piece of cheese that gets slathered with that jam she’s serving along side. But that’s not why we’re here. Wait, why are we here? Continue reading
Posted in Housewives, Real Housewives of Orange County
Tagged Alexis Bellino, Bravo, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, lydia mclaughlin, orange county, Reality TV, RHOC, Slade Smiley, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson
One Sentence Summary: It’s Heather’s return to TV… and humanity.
Madame Tussaud’s latest creation.
Time to push away from the make-up table, Gretchen.
Rachel: Shouldn’t this week be called “Hot In Los Angeles”? I mean I get this show is about the OC, but Heather is shooting in LA and the whole crew is going with her. I’m also not sure how I feel about these women spending so much time in my old hood. There’s only so much room for Housewives in LA County and I’m pretty sure the Bev Hills bitches have that covered. So, after Heather gets her 15 minutes with the fabulous Betty White, I would like her, and the rest of the crew that for some reason has to go with her, to go back behind the Orange Curtain. Terry may feel differently about that, but until she changes that ‘tude, she’s all OC all the time. But I’m excited to see Laurie back tonight and hear all about her lifestyle of the rich and not-that-famous. Seriously, she gives me hope.
Rise & Shine
Wait.. Terry, did you just actually do something without me asking?
Rachel: Terry & Heather are getting the kids up at the ass crack of dawn for a reason I can’t quite understand. Do kids really need to be up at 6am for school? If so, this is a whole new cruel world that I’m glad was not in existence when I was a kid… or was it? Wait, what time did I have to be at school? Was it that early? I Continue reading
One Sentence Summary: The crew goes to Malibu to taste wine and once again disrespect the grape.
Remind me again why I came back this season?
Rachel: I’m in NYC watching this week’s episode and wishing I was watching the New York Housewives. Just feels like it would be fun to watch the ladies in the city they call home. Then I could visit the places they go, take selfies and then post them for everyone. OK, I wouldn’t do that… well I wouldn’t post the pictures. But never mind that, we have some more Vicki & Tamra fighting to get to. Seriously, why do they even bother at this point? Besides, if Vicki disconnected from Tamra, she would be free to hang out with Alexis and give her something to do on the show other than hang out with Jim, thereby sparing us his mug every week. And then I could just fast forward through those parts or use them as breaks to go and pour myself some more wine. Seems like a win-win to me.
Grudge Be A Lady Tonight
The only thing keeping Heather from making sure Terry meets with a tragic accident is the video camera in her face.
Rachel: Oh joy, we start off this week with happy Heather. What’s she going to be bitching about this week? Ah, she’s still not liking her husband and she’s still mad about dinner. Good Lord, woman. Get over it. He apologized. He knows he was wrong. What else is he supposed to do? This might be a good time to Continue reading