One-Sentence Summary: Tonight we have Dance Trios ending in a double elimination, which sounds a lot like ballroom porn to us.
Melissa channels Little Laura Ingalls
Rachel: Double elimination with a dance trio… A dance trio? Are you serious? OK enough with the ridiculous twists this year. This isn’t the Bachelor. We don’t need the most dramatic tango ever. It’s ballroom dancing for the love of all that is holy. I swear I’d love to have some of whatever the producers were smoking when they planned out this year’s competition. Well whatever happens can we please send Melissa home this week? She bugs the ever living crap out of me. BTW, anyone see the ads on VH1 for Single Ladies? Looks like William’s booty shaking moves on the DWTS dance floor have landed him a starring role in VH1′s “Single Ladies”. That show was so bad last season, but they are smart over there at VH1 because I know I’ll be tuning in at least for one episode.
Melissa: We’re down to six… With a “dance trio” this week… Whatever that is. Is it like a ménage but for dancing? That could be good. What would make it better is if the audience got to pick who the 3rd partner was!
Donald & Peta dance the Tango to “Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder
Rachel’s What Happened: Donald wants to be pushed because he’s not ready to go home. However, all the pushing is frustrating him in rehearsals. He is struggling and it’s hard for him. He studies other dancers’ Tangos to see proper frames. We’ll see if it pays off on the dance floor the way it does on the football filed. It does. He’s doing a great job but I can’t help giggling at how damn serious he looks. They certainly can’t give him any grief about his frame. Was spot on. Len says he’s a first round knockout. He set the standard high. Bruno says he thought he was going to have to call a marriage counselor. Talk about power, disdain and aggression. He went for it like there was no tomorrow. Carrie Ann said it was incredible to watch. His shapes were more dynamic. She says bring more drama but the guys disagree with her.
Melissa: OK, again, I love Donald and I hate to see him so frustrated and not his usual fun loving self. OK, I didn’t care for that frenzied beginning to this where it seemed like they were angry blind bees. I do love how he finishes each of his dances with that little smile and touch of humor though. BTW, I don’t think I’ve commented yet that I hate Peta’s body – it’s evil. Well, evil in the sense that I don’t have it as mine unless I spend 5 hours Photoshopping my head on it.
Maria & Derek dance the Viennese Waltz to “A Thousand Years” by Christina Perri
Rachel’s What Happened: Derek says that Maria struggles with the emotion of the dances. For the second week in a row we see Derek swearing and storming off. What’s up with the Maks-itude? She starts crying because she hates whiners. Uh, you’re being yelled at. It’s OK. He says you hurt the ones you love most. Yeah, well then you must really really love her. Not liking this side of him. And the dance is beautiful. It’s always great. So he can probably stop swearing at her like they’re at a truck stop. Bruno says it was heavenly fluidity with seamless transitions. Combine that with total emotional involvement and it was amazing. Carrie Ann says sometimes dances speak to you and some sing to you. This sang to her. There is a special emotional connection between them that is unique. Len says this girl in hold is the best but he missed a chance here. The hold wasn’t quite good enough for him. He would have liked a little more dancing in hold. BTW, Derek apologizes for being a jerk this week. I agree with Brooke, it was great for him to man up and admit that.
Melissa: Oh, this is a pretty waltz. I wish I had a little snark up in here, but I just can’t. I don’t want to like it after their scores last week, but I’m a fan. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still wearing my bedazzled Donald shirt with matching William headband, but I like this dance.
Melissa & Maks dance the Foxtrot to “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart
Rachel’s What Happened: Melissa is amazed at how her fan base has kept her in the competition. Yeah, I’m amazed as well. That dance last week was horrifyingly bad. And rehearsals this week aren’t looking promising as Maks has to leave the room because he wants to punch something. Something being her. She’s making him look like a terrorist. Well, that’s slightly dramatic. She says he’s more than a just a bad guy but he is responsible for his emotions. She calls it growing pains. I call it douchebaggery. Tomato – tomahto. As usual, Melissa looks behind on the steps when they’re in hold. She picks it up about halfway through but we’re beyond that point in the competition, no? Carrie Ann said it was her best dance ever. Her shoulders were down and she was relaxed. There were some mess-ups in teh beginning that she has to consider in her score. Len said potentially it was her best dance but there were one or two incidents where she lost it a little bit. Bruno it was a much smoother ride. The presentation was the best she’s done to date. Maks also makes amends in the sky box for being a jerk. It won’t happen again. Who wants to take that bet?
Melissa: So my husband has just seen Melissa for the first time and is shocked by her… um, appearance. Oh there’s the Maks we know and love berating his partner and making her feel like shit because they aren’t perfect dancers. Yeah, I think this is her last week here unless someone full on falls on their ass. Not that I have anything against half-pint, she’s just not keeping pace with the rest of the pack.
Katherine & Mark dance the Viennese Waltz to “Kathleen” by David Gray
Rachel’s What Happened: Katherine says she has to really step it up because she’s the least known person in the competition. She has to give a stellar performance to stay in the competition. I like that she actually doesn’t whine or complain when she can’t do something in rehearsals and pushes through. Love this girl. And see guys, Mark doesn’t yell or swear at her and they do just fine without the nastiness. In fact, it’s a really beautiful dance, with lots of dancing in hold for Len. Len said this had plenty of content, lots in hold and great character. The only part he didn’t like was the spin. Bruno said the technique was superb. Her placement and frame is superb. Just had one moment where she lost it coming up. Carrie Ann says her lines were gorgeous. She lost her balance and wasn’t on her footing. Couldn’t hear the rest over the booing.
Melissa: So pretty. Really, I can’t ding Mark this week. I mean I can ding that mint green under-dress and shoe color, but the dance itself is just lovely. A bobble at the lift at the end, but I liked it.
Chelsea & Roshon dance the Foxtrot to “Sweet Pea” by Amos Lee
Rachel’s What Happened: Two times in the dance duel in a row so he’s feeling the pressure. He is having problems keeping his feet straight, which is problem if he wants to stay. There’s no dance duel tomorrow to save him. He invites his grandmothers to rehearsal to watch him dance because their smiling faces make him want to work harder. Gram says he needs to steady his feet. Love it. OK, we know I rip on this kid mercilessly, but this a great dance for him. He can be sweet and flirty and not have to try and “man up” against Donald & William. I enjoyed this dance. Bruno says what he did in a week was incredible. No jerkiness. His holds were superb. His lines have never been better. Was like watching a young Mickey Rooney. Carrie Ann says he made his grannies proud and he made them proud. Len said it was free. Good job.
Rachel: How many times has he been in the bottom? Twice… in a row. Come on now. Man, he’s going to pull the grandma cards on me?? I love grandma making sure to point out how his feed slide and they need to be in place. Man, I can’t really ding this dance either. Maybe it’s the lingering grandma juju, but I’m digging it. I like him best, I think, with the foxtrot.
William & Cheryl dance the Foxtrot to “Stray Cut Strut” by Stray Cats
Rachel’s What Happened: William brings Cheryl flowers to rehearsal for her birthday. Ah, sweet William, you know how to make a girl’s heart go pitter-patter. He’s having a hard time with all the rules in ballroom dancing. He’s not really a rules guy. Notice how everything he says drips with sexuality even if he doesn’t mean it? Or is that just me? Looking fine in that tux, Mr. Levy. I liked the dance. Was a great Foxtrot. I don’t know if it was my favorite dance he did, but I’m not mad at it. He certainly pulled off the dapper gentleman. Carrie Ann, on the other hand, is meowing. It was a super hot sexy Pink Panther. His movements were exquisite. It’s so much fun to watch him dance. Len says it was a mix of care and flair. He liked it. Bruno says he couldn’t be more debonair and suave if he tried.
Melissa: OK, granted it’s William, and I think he can do no wrong… I liked it! I mean, truth be told, I love him most in the Latin numbers, but I liked this a lot. Consider my headband whipped off and swinging around my head for that one. Oh and a perfect score for the night – you go on with your bad selves kiddies!!
OK, so the stars are dancing with one eliminated pro or member of the dance troupe along with their normal partner for a trio dance. Hmm…. Not sure how I feel about this.
Donald Driver with Karina Smirnoff
Donald, Peta & Karina dance the Jive to “Rip It Up” by Little Richard
Rachel’s What Happened: The Jive is not only a hard dance on its own, but with three people, it’s craziness. Donald is ready to do what it takes. Do or die, he says. He’s not ready to see Jimmy Kimmel. We’re not ready for you to go either Donald, so bring it! And boy, he done brung it! That was fantastic. OK, if this is how the trio is going to go, then I’m all in. Loved it! So much fun. Too much fun! Len says fun fun fun! He liked it! Bruno says he handled the dancing beautifully keeping up with these two firecrackers. Carrie Ann says he never missed a step. He kept it the whole way. She loved his three-way!
Melissa: That’s right Donald, I don’t want to see you visit Jmmy!! Damn, that’s some nice footwork and flicks! Oh yeah, I’m totally digging this. Then the leap over the girls… HELLS YEAH Donald! You just kicked the Jive in the business end, my dear!
Score: 28 <— Lame
Total: 55 for the night
Maria Menounos with Henry Byalikov
Maria, Derek & Henry dance the Samba to “Mama Do the Hump” by Rizzle Kicks
Rachel’s What Happened: Oy, Henry is that kid from the troupe that’s always making those annoying faces. He’s gonna have to step it up for me. Yes, for me. They’re doing Bollywood, which is either going to be super cool or a nightmare. Maria is giving Henry a little extra love in the rehearsals. See how your bad attitude can backfire Derek? This was a really fun dance – amazing choreography – but I’m confused as to how it was a Samba. Bruno said creatively this dance was incredible. She was the jewel. But they lost timing a couple of times. The intricacy of it all was a bit of a whammy. But as a piece of choreography it was absolutely fabulous. Carrie Ann says she agrees with Bruno. It was an incredible number but there were a few slip-ups. It was a feast for her Asian senses. Len says if he were judging a Bollywood number it’s a ten but he’s not. He’s judging a Samba (see!). There was no connection for him with a Samba.
Melissa: An Ab off? While I’m hating on Peta’s body, I’m going to totally hate on Maria’s abs… That is legit woman! I’ll have to work on my Photoshop skills for that business too. OK, I’m loving this Bollywood number! That was some genius choreography.
Melissa Gilbert with Val Chmerkovskiy
Melissa, Maks & Val dance the Samba to “Hard To Handle” by Otis Redding
Rachel’s What Happened: Melissa says they chose Val because this dance is very important and they have to get good score. Um, was there really any doubt that they would choose Val? She says there’s nothing hotter than dancing with the two Chmerkovskiys. I’m going to have to agree to disagree on that one. Shall we dance? I’d say Melissa held her own on this one. And it was an actual Samba. Not bad. Carrie Ann likes the Chmerkovskiy sandwich. It was her best dance for miles. Len said this was her best dance. Tonight three is not a crowd. Well done. Bruno says it obviously takes two to get the best out of her.
Melissa: OF COURSE they chose Val, because he’s the only dancer who will allow Maks to be a jackass. OK, so I don’t know for sure what it is, but there’s just something that is… Off… Rhythmically speaking with her. I just don’t get a smoothness with her.
Katherine Jenkins with Tristan McManus
Katherine, Mark & Tristan dance the Cha Cha to “She’s A Lady” by Tom Jones
Rachel’s What Happened: Yay! Tristan’s back! I do love him. They’re an adorable trio… if there could be such a thing. Slight wardrobe malfunction with Katherine (and no, not a nip slip), but it doesn’t trip her up, which was great. Very fun dance. Len says she had the little wardrobe thing but she kicked it off and kept going. It was fun. Well done. Bruno says that was sexy & cool. It was modern but she still captured that Hitchcock blonde coolness. It was absolutely wonderful. Carrie Ann says she brought the fire. She came out like she owned the dance floor. Having the pant thing happen and not missing a beat is incredible.
Melissa: Oh man, I’m going to love this! Mark and Tristan… How much fun is that?! So had a moment of panic until that pant leg came off. I thought for sure she was going down with that stuck on her foot. That was fun. I wish I had more Tristan time, but I’ll take it.
Roshon Fegan with Sasha Farber
Roshon, Chelsea & Sasha dance the Paso Doble to “Turn Me On” by David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj
Rachel’s What Happened: Interesting. The first team to pick a dancer of the same sex as the star. They’re doing another masculine dance which isn’t Roshon’s strength but maybe having a guy teach him will make a difference. Looks like it did. That was fierce. Bruno said it was a beautiful Spanish line. He lost synch with Sasha a couple times but there were times where he couldn’t tell them apart, which is a good thing. Carrie Ann is conflicted because it was a great routine but he went off a few times. Len says they were two skinny fries chasing the ketchup. Beautiful lines and tight buttocks (really?). Great job. Well done.
Melissa: Yeah Roshon, you need to be a little more masculine. Gotta say, there’s a pretty good chance I’m more masculine than Roshon. Um, is it just me or should there be another person dancing with them? Oh, finally, there he is. So that was the idea, keep the other dancer away so you don’t notice if they’re off.
William Levy with Tony Dovolani
William, Cheryl & Tony dance the Paso Doble to “Diablo Rojo” by Rodrigo y Gabriela
Rachel’s What Happened: Cheryl chose Tony because she wants William to hold his own next to a pro. They like that there is an extra challenge having another male dancer. William has to be as good as Tony. Though William says maybe it’d be better if Tony screwed up when William screwed up. Ha… I have a feeling it’s going to be fab. And fab it was. William certainly held his own with Tony, whom I think is a great dancer. Carrie Ann says the lines were incredible. They matched perfectly, but did go out of sync once. But it was pretty insanely fun to watch. Len salutes them and thinks they did a brilliant job. He liked the way it came together. They did it really really well. Bruno says it was two raging bulls. He couldn’t ask for more. They used Cheryl like a cape beautifully, but they did lose sync.
Melissa: Oh that was awesome! I loved this, and I loved Tony with William. I might need to hook up a Tony wristband after this number.
Bottom Line Part 1:
Rachel: OK, I was wrong. The trio round was really fun. I’ll let them keep it next season. I really can’t predict whose going home tomorrow. I want to say Melissa but I’ve been wrong every week on that. Maybe Roshon, because apparently he’s not getting the home vote. But it’s been so crazy this season, it could be anyone. Well, anyone except William. Let’s be honest.
Melissa: This was a fun week. Color me a fan of the dance off and the ménage dancing!! I love that they are trying to go big or go home with each additional season. They have been trying to keep the audience entertained and tuning in. I’m in babies… I’m in! Wait, did I also hear there was a DanceCenter tomorrow??
The Results Show
Rachel’s What Happened: We’re back after having recovered from the fun that was the Trio dances. Yes, I was poo-pooing them, but I’m woman enough to admit when I’m wrong. Well woman enough after a few glasses of wine. But it’s a double elimination tonight, which means two couples are going home. That’s correct. Double means two. That college education my parents paid for is really paying off!
We start tonight with some positivity – the encore dance – which is a no brainer. Donald, Peta & Karina entertain us again with their Jive.
But the good times are short-lived as we find out one of the couples up for elimination. The first two to get their results are Katherine & Mark and Donald & Peta. Neither of these two couples should be up for elimination, quite frankly, but Katherine is in jeopardy tonight. Shocking. Donald is safe. Not shocking.
Jerry Rice, Kenny Mayne & Len Goodman are back for another episode of DanceCenter
Time for some performances. I’m giddy and disgusted all at the same time. I’m giddy because DanceCenter is back. Yay! This is the funniest bit they do all year. Love it! And I love that Jerry is wearing green eyeshadow and the rainbow stars on Kenny’s face are cracking me up. But I’m also disgusted. Seems Chris Brown is back too. WTF? Really? This kid just keeps falling up doesn’t he? Maybe I can make Two Winey Bitches famous if I throw a chair through a TV station window & beat the shit out of someone. Sadly, I’m watching in real time and can’t fast forward in protest. So let’s just move on, shall we?
Roshon & Chelsea and William & Cheryl wait to find out which one of them is going home tonight.
It’s time for one of the two couples leaving tonight to get the bad news. Up for elimination are Roshon & Chelsea and William & Cheryl. Is there really any chance that it’s William going home? No. And the votes are in, Roshon and Chelsea are going home. He rocked it last night but the votes just haven’t been there for him. And just when he was starting to grow on me. Oh well, was his time.
Dick Clark Tribute
Dancing With The Stars and Macy’s Stars on Ice pay tribute to Dick Clark and American Bandstand. They even have original Bandstand dancers in the audience. Pretty awesome. Glad to see them acknowledge a legend.
Time to find out who is up for elimination against Katherine & Mark – Maria & Derek or Melissa & Maks. Not surprisingly, Maria & Derek are safe. That puts Melissa & Maks in jeopardy.
One of these couples is leaving tonight.
There is no way Katherine is going before Melissa. Not unless you want riots in the street. Ok, not unless you want some pissed off TV viewers yelling at their TVs. And calm will remain in homes across America as Melissa is sent home and Katherine is safe. Oh snap, it’s Melissa’s birthday too. Well, if you can send Gladys home during Motown Week, Melissa can get sent home on her birthday. Seems only fair.
Bottom Line II:
Rachel: Well, it was only a matter of time for both Roshon & Melissa. Now, the competition is serious. The last four dancers are all strong competitors. It’s going to be hard to see any of them go, but I’m pretty firmly Team Donald at this point. Or Team William…. Though being Team Katherine wouldn’t be bad either… Well, I have 6 days to figure that out.
Melissa: OK, so I had to beg off last night due to a horrible headache that progressed at warp speed. I woke up and Googled the results (Yes, that is my dedication folks) and I gotta say… I told you it was coming. Half-Pint’s fan base just couldn’t help keep her there forever. And well, truth be told, I don’t even know who Roshon’s fan base is, so no big shock there that they were outdone. I’m kinda cool with the remaining couples so I think we’re in for an awesome showcase showdown (Yeah, I did just pull a Price Is Right) for the mirror ball trophy!