Category Archives: America’s Next Top Model

America’s Next Top Model Cycle 19, Episode 7 – The Girl Who Licks The Floor

Posted on October 7, 2012 by | 2 Comments

The Grunge Episode

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Really?  This week’s episode is called “The Girl Who Licks The Floor”?  One can only assume it’s going to be Victoria.  I gotta think she’s the only one loony enough to lick a floor.  Maybe they showed that in the previews, but I don’t remember that at all.   I do know that this is the week that Victoria gets called out for not eating, and while I’m sure it’s not done with the highest level of tact & class, I am glad someone is talking about it.  That girl is scary skinny and admittedly not eating the “non-mama-country-cookin” food being made at the house.   As an ex-ballet dancer, I am a bit hypersensitive to eating issues.  I remember watching 4 girls split a Snickers bar and calling it lunch.  Seriously.  So, hopefully surrogate mama Tyra will step in and handle it.  I’m sure she has a story about her own weight struggles that she will share to show how down to earth and in touch she is.  Maybe we’ll hear about Paris at 15.  Maybe we’ll hear about the evil “other model” –  aka Naomi Campbell – that made her life hell.  Or maybe we’ll hear the “kiss my ass” story again.  Oh, it’s all so exciting.

We start back in the house with Laura, who is excited about her win because it is one step closer to her proving that she can be a successful model on her own and not live in the shadow of her parents.  Now, I was as big of a Dynasty fan as you can be back in the day… and today (see our New Year’s pics on the TWB Facebook page if you want proof)… but I’m thinking the sun has set on daddy’s acting career making that shadow rather small.  But I’m gonna let her have her dream.  Meanwhile, Victoria is still reeling from being in the Bottom Two.  She says she lost feeling in her feet at panel and almost passed out from the shallow breathing.  Could be that you’re just hungry, dear.

As for the Tyra Suite, Laura decides to stay alone.  Now, normally I’d make some comment about bitchiness and blah blah blah, but she gets a pass because her not sharing the win means no Suite time for Kristin.  And that I approve of greatly.  Alyssa is cool with that because she can earn it on her own.  She’s getting her groove on and she’s going to be the curvy Brazilian that wins Top Model.  I’m thinking that’s probably not going to happen, because if history dictates, the girl that does the most bragging is usually the girl that goes home.

Down in the kitchen, Kiara has taked on the role of House Mom and is cooking up some chili for the girls.  She hopes this helps the girls respect her more.  She’s not the ruthless the bitch they thought she was.  She’s just a tough love kind of mom.  If you say so.  I mean I respect where it comes from, but you’re still kind of a hard ass.  The girls are chowing down on the chili, but not Victoria.  Here we go… She doesn’t eat red meat.  And she’s not interested in the rice because without her mom, she can barely taste food.  This makes my head spin.  This is such a dysfunctional attachment she has to her mom.  I mean she gives a whole new meaning to needing to cut the umbilical cord.  Kiara is concerned about her. Even Kristin is concerned about her.  And if Kristin is concerned, you’ve got to be a hot mess.

But concerns must be put aside because Bryanboy is in the house!  No, literally he’s in the house.  He has brought Marissa Montgomery, designer & host of Nylon TV, with him.  They tell the girls that they are going on a road trip to Palm Springs to do “Random Acts of Modeling”.  Apparently, this is when you do everyday things like grocery shopping or pumping gas, but in a “model-esque” way.  This is something Tyra does all the time.  Yeah, because she’s a banana that thinks the world is her runway.  But this ought to be entertaining to say the least.  Maybe I’ll watch football this weekend in a “model way”.  Hmm…

Anyway, the girls will hop in some RVs and make 3 stops on their way to Palm Springs.  At each stop, they will have to take photos of themselves doing RAOM.  The winning model will host her own segment on Nylon TV.  The girls are divided into two teams:  Brittany, Alyssa & Kristin on Team One and Kiara, Nastasia & Victoria on Team Two.  Since Laura is the House President this week, she gets to pick which team she wants to be on.  Any shock that she picks Alyssa, Brittany & Kristin?  Uh, no.

On the road, the teams prepare their strategy.  Victoria says she’s going for the weird.  Floor licking anyone?  First stop is a Statue of Liberty replica.  Kiara stands and sits on or around an eagle statue and poses.  Uh, not exactly the concept Tyra is looking for.  Victoria doesn’t get it right either.  She also doesn’t remember to say “Nylon TV” during her video segment, which sends her into panic…. as usual. Meanwhile, Team 1 stops at an amusement park and Alyssa grasps the concept of RAOM posing while she buys tickets.  Brittany, not so much.  Kristin also manages to fail the test.  But Laura gets her photo while eating some cotton candy and scores one photo of RAOM.  The girls sort of start to get the concept as they go but not quite 100%.  How hard is this to understand?  Standing on a tractor, no.  Eating food, yes.  Victoria gets through a couple of carrots and some lettuce leaves.  What she doesn’t get is Kiara’s video recorded.  Whoops.  Now she’s getting stink eye from Kiara and that is giving Victoria anxiety.  OK, this girl is going to keel over from a coronary if she doesn’t learn to calm down.  The girls keep referring to her as fragile.  Fragile is a good word.  She actually reminds me of a bambi right after they’re born and they can’t quite figure out how to stand on their own legs.  Someone give her a Xanax shake and a large pizza please.  The girls on Team 2 pull over and reshoot Kiara’s video.  She does a bunch of takes, which further pisses of Victoria who only got to do one take.  Yeah, stat on that shake.  Team 1 has decided to stop at the Palm Springs windmills for their third stop, not realizing that hundreds of windmills churning might actually create… wind.  They attempt to do RAOM even though there are no random acts to be captured.  Good call.  Stop number three is a total fail.

Don’t hate. These shorts are fierce!

They all finally arrive in Palm Springs to find out which team pulled off the assignment.  Bryanboy is waiting for them with Marvin Scott Jared, Editor-In-Chief of Nylon Magazine.  Marvin tells them that a Nylon girl is a girl that is comfortable with herself and has her own personal style.  He thinks everyone did a great job.  Team 1 – Kristin did a great job and has a very Nylon look.  Brittany looked like she was taking vacation photos.  Alyssa has a great look but was too posed.  He thinks Laura did a great job with her props and with achieving RAOM. On to Team 2 – Nastasia has an innate Nylon look but didn’t deliver what Tyra was looking for.  Victoria’s tractor photo was great but her pictures weren’t RAOM.  Kiara seems to have been the only one on the team that understood the assignment.  Howver, the team win goes to Team 1 with Laura winning the overall challenge.  Someone’s on fire and going to be sporting a big target on her back.  Beware the model claws, Laura.  They’re gonna be swinging in your direction. The social networking scores are handed out as well with Victoria & Brittany tying for last place with sixes.  And Victoria’s stress-o-meter ticks up another inch.  She’s angry & drained… and a broken record.  She feels like she won’t be able to achieve this for her mom.  Lady, achieve something for yourself.

The girls want to rest and shower, but Johnny shows up to tell them that they’re going straight to their photo shoot.  The theme this week is that they’re girls coming home from a wild night out and being caught off guard.  OK, is it wrong that I find the photographer, mustachioed Douglas Friedman, kinda hot?  Probably, but I can live with that.  He’s like a tattooed Village Person.  OK, I’ve said too much.  Moving on…. Brittany is up first and nails it.  Laura gets to

Me likey.

hover over a motel toilet, but hasn’t quite got the hugging of the porcelain down.  Come on, lady.  We all know this isn’t your first time at the “hold my hair” rodeo.  Victoria rolls in with her weekly story of what character she’ll be playing.  Today she’s a girl who got drunk, lost her virginity and now has to take a pregnancy test. Um, okaaaay.  Girl needs to step back from the edge.  Douglas & Johnny are a bit weirded out, but she nails the shoot.  Kristin gets to pour gallons of milk all over herself.  Johnny thinks she was a trooper for doing it.  She’s just pissed, natch.  Kiara is modeling in a dumpster.  Johnny asks her if she’s ever been in a dumpster.  He asks rhetorically, but the answer is actually “yes”.  She’s been homeless and had to resort to dumpster diving for clothing.  Yikes.  That’s intense and makes me sad for her.  Sounds like she’s really had quite the rough life.  Can you imagine if Victoria had to deal with her life?  Oy.  Kiara actually has a great shoot, finally.  Nastasia shoots in the shower but hates that they’re telling her to scrunch because she needs to look tall.  Alyssa shows up and gets the photographer’s name wrong.  Slick.  And it turns out she’s the one licking the floor today.  Yep, soda off a dirty floor.  Ack.  Johnny thinks she’s a gorgeous girl but not a high fashion model.  Well, I hope she at least makes it another week being that she was licking a dirty floor 3 feet from a roach.  That deserves another week on the show.

After another stressful night for Victoria, the girls return home in time for the next panel.  But first, Victoria has to have her weekly hysterical call home.  Seriously, she is outer limits with this.  And since clearly mom doesn’t have any interest in her daughter having her own life, she tells her she should come home.  The girls are all confused and concerned about Victoria.  Nastasia pulls her aside and asks her if she feels like she should go home.  She tells Victoria that she needs to eat.  Brittany jumps in and says she’s also concerned.  They party grows and the girls are all telling her that she has to take better care of herself, let her mom go at some point and have her own life.  You guys are going to give her a heart attack.  Take it down a notch.  Seriously, the gang attack isn’t going to work in this situation.

But it’s time for panel… Brittany is up first and the judges love her photo.  Kiara gets good scores from the judges, but still isn’t making her mark on the fans.  Laura doesn’t quite nail the dirty girl and this disappoints Tyra.  She gets 6s and 7s.  Kristin regained some of the ground she lost on social media and gets 8s from the judges.  Nastasia finally looks tall and the judges are loving what she’s bringing.  She gets 10s & a 9 from the judges.  Alyssa committed to the shot but didn’t quite pull off the shot.  Her social media scores dropped this week.  Tyra says she needed to smize, but still gives her an 8.  The other judges go 4 & 6.  Ouch.  The judges loves the photo Victoria shot, but Bryanboy just wonders when they’ll see some confidence in panel from her.  She starts to say she wants to really bring it each week, which starts the heads wagging in the back.  Tyra asks what’s going on and Kiara says they’re all worried about her.  Tyra asks if she’s sick, and as Victoria tries to convince her she’s fine, the girls behind are shaking their heads like bobbleheads on a brick road.  Tyra says she wants to believe Victoria, but needs to listen to the girls because health is of the utmost concern to her… You know, she’s written letters about it to every girl in the world.  Damn!  Letters!  I forgot that one.  And really, every girl in the world?  That’s a lot of writing.  And where the hell is my letter?  She must have cramped up right before my name.  Anywho, Tyra tells her that it’s up to Victoria to be well, but if she makes it through this week, she’ll be watching her.

Best photo: Nastasia

Staying:  Brittany, Kristin, Victoria, Kiara

Bottom Two:  Laura & Alyssa – Wow, way to plummet, Laura.  Reality check time for her, but Alyssa is going home.  This upsets Tyra because she was the only “fiercely real” girl left in the competition.  And as a black girl with a big butt, she knows that real girls have to try harder.  Oh dear lord, Tyra, give us a break.

Bottom Line: Well, here’s hoping that Tyra takes some time off from her letter writing campaign to make sure Victoria doesn’t end up a cautionary tale.  Seriously, that girl is not OK.

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America’s Next Top Model Season 19, Week 6 – The Girl That Gets Pwn’d

Posted on September 29, 2012 by | 2 Comments

Take this competition and shove it.

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  Well, I spent last weekend in bed sick as a dog.  So, while I did finally remember to watch on Friday, typing on a keyboard seemed too taxing for my sad self.  It’s no excuse, but I just couldn’t get it together for Ty Ty last week.  But if you want to know my two cents, I’m wholly annoyed that Laura, one of my faves, went to the dark side by making the evil Kristin her new BFF.  That annoyance was doubled when it was at Leila’s expense… which was tripled when Leila got sent to the random second chance sweepstakes.  Can we please please pretty please send Kristin home tonight?  Haven’t we all had enough?

Oh, and one last nit before we get to tonight’s episode… Who is naming each week’s show?  These have to be the lamest names ever.  They really are trying way too hard this season.  It’s gotta be reined in before next season.  Ok, the show…

The girls get home after panel and Nastasia takes Kiara to the Tyra Suite with her.  Meanwhile, Laura is back in general population and she’s just over all the girls.  She needs to focus on the competition and not the drama.  I’m with you there, but could you do it without Kristin.  Brittany is upset that Brianboy was shaking his head at panel when Leila got sent home.  Seems Yvonne is upset with that too.  Oh girls, they’re called judges because they judge.  And let’s be honest, we’re all shocked Leila went home instead of you.  You eked it out.  Be happy about it and move along.

Seems Yvonne isn’t done bitching for the night.  She’s on the phone with her friend Brandon and doesn’t like that they’re being treated like a product.  Honey, you are a product.  You’re there to be a model, not a rocket scientist.  Not sure what you thought was going to happen…

But it’s time to package yourself up and get to the next challenge.  Rob & supermodel Chrissy Tiegen meet the girls wearing suits that track their moves and turn them into video games.  Today, the models will have to bring video game characters to life and the girl with the best moves will get to have her signature “taunt” featured in the video game, Uncharted 3.  Let me just say that I had to look up “taunt” online because I had no freaking clue what Rob was saying.  The accent is cute but damn hard to decipher sometimes.  Stuntman, Mike Mukadis, is on-set to help the girls with some signature moves.  I have to say, they aren’t making it super easy on them today.  They may actually break a sweat!  Laura is up first and rocks it.  Sadly, Kristin also does well.  The rest of the girls rock it out and then there’s Victoria.  Sweet skinny awkward Victoria who couldn’t manage to hurtle herself over the bunker.  The judges loved Brittany who brought her “Disney” to the challenge.  But Disney wasn’t enough to grab the win and Laura takes the challenge.

After the challenge, Chrissy sits down with the girls to talk about how important social media is.  She tells the girls not to be fake.  Be real.  And don’t let the negative comments get to you.  Laugh it off.   Make it a joke.  Lovely, practical advice but she didn’t really rattle the roof with that information.  Pat on the head, Chrissy.  Now, off you go.

Speaking of social media, the challenge scores are waiting for the girls back home. Nastasia is at the bottom with a 5 and Victoria hovers right above with a 6.  This worries Victoria.  Brittany is frustrated even though she scored an 8 and is near the top.  She wanted to win.  She doesn’t like not being number one.  Ah, welcome to the real world, dear.

Oh goodie, another hysterical phone call from Victoria to “mama”.  She misses kissing her mom on the cheek and their country cooking together.  She can’t taste the food without her.  Say what?  This poor girl is such a mess.  I’m not trying to rail against home schooling – it works for some people – but this mother has not given her daughter any coping skills for life outside the little bubble she’s created.  I swear I think she might break in half.

Aw crap, it’s the creepy dude with the beard in heels.   I can’t stand him so I

I got your steampunk right here.

haven’t bothered to remember his name.  Seriously, he just irks me to no end.  He delivers a Tyra mail about it being the wild wild west out there, which brings us to our photo shoot.

Johnny Wujek meets the girls and tells them that today’s theme is steampunk, which is defined by dictionary.com as: a subgenre of science fiction and fantasy featuring advanced machines and other technology based on steam power of the 19th century and taking place in a recognizable historical period or a fantasy world.  That’s a really confusing definition if you ask me, but it sounds cool so I’m willing to play.  Today’s photographer is Mike Ruiz.  They’ll be taking photos in front of a steam engine with a “temperamental co-star”… an owl.  Very cool.

Laura goes first and I have to say the outfit is pretty rad.  She kills it and Bryanboy is ecstatic.  Yes, Bryanboy is on set today and yes, that means Brittany is going to confront him about his head shaking at last panel.  Go easy, sister.  He tells her that it had nothing to do with her.  It had to do with Leila’s performance. This gives Brittany the determination to go forward.  Yeah, this chick is on my nerves.  Quit the moaning already and just model.  And model she does with a good shoot.

Meanwhile, Yvonne continues her plan to work the rest of my nerves by bitching about having to wait for all the girls to shoot their photos before she can leave.  Really?  Where you going?  You don’t have anything else to do.  Just shut it and sit there like a good little model.

Kirstin has a hard time with the shoot because she’s scared of the owl, who by the way is named Groovy… which is groovy.  Yvonne finally gets to set, and after a few shots, Johnny wants to change her skirt.  Need I tell you that this also annoys Yvonne?  So much so that she sticks her tongue out about the whole situation.  How very third grade of you.  Bryanboy catches this and asks her what that’s all about.  He tells her that they’re all working hard, which she isn’t interested in hearing.  She fully dismisses him with a snotty “I get your point.”  Oh this is going to go over like a fart in church.  She isn’t going to let him talk to her like that without some kind of response.  Dumb move from a smart girl.  Then she proceeds to faux apologize to the whole set.  This earns her a request from Bryanboy to just be quiet.  She finally gets a new skirt, but the photographs don’t show a new girl.  She’s still just annoyed Yvonne.

Finally, we have Victoria who has spent her time waiting by concocting a story about her character that is longer than “The Iliad”.  Or “50 Shades of Grey” for you modern “literature” fans.  She probably could have used some of that creative thinking time to practice a few moves since her shoot isn’t exactly setting the world on fire.

The Yvonne drama continues behind-the-scenes with Kiara telling Yvonne that Bryanboy is going to tell the judges what happened.  Yvonne doesn’t care.  She’s pissed off.  Kiara is trying to tell her to hold it in and she needs to apologize.  That advice she takes.  She starts crying to Bryanboy and apologizing for her hot temper.  He accepts her apology but reminds her that in the real world of fashion, people will judge her.  Yes, and in the not-so-real world of reality TV, we are judging you too.

Back at the house, Kristin asks the girls if she did a bad job.  Lord, I hope so.  Yvonne says her saving grace is that Bryanboy said she got a good shot.  Kristin says he’s just a brat to everyone.  Oh, I just want to slap her.  Hard.  Victoria is also worried, but hers is a more dramatic, internal struggle that takes place between she & the mirror.  Nutter.  Total nutter.

Time for panel… Kiara is up first.  Kelly feels like her face is stuck.  Tyra disagrees, but social media is on Kelly’s team.  Victoria disappoints Tyra but Kelly thinks the shot is usable.  Rob says it’s too safe.  Kristin – Kelly calls her photo a waitress at an Oktoberfest.  ha.. Bryanboy says her fans are dwindling and she’s living proof that no one is safe in this competition.  So far all the girls are averaging scores of 7.  Nastasia still is coming across short, but Tyra thinks she looks beautiful.  Bryanboy tells her that she’s gaining fans online.  Tyra gives her a 9 in contrast to Rob’s 5 which is an average of 7 with Kelly’s score of 7.  Come on, guys.  Yvonne’s turn.  Rob says she can do so much more.  Bryanboy says she’s losing fans quickly and what happened at the shoot didn’t help.  Tyra commends her for apologizing, but that doesn’t excuse her attitude.  Our first average score that’s a 6.  Alyssa gets good feedback from the judges but social media is lukewarm.  Highest score so far.  Brittany gets mixed reviews.  Kelly isn’t in love with it, but Rob thinks it’s amazing.  Tyra is proud of her and thinks if she can continue to do this, she’ll be successful.  She’s the rising star on social media.  Tyra gives her a 10.  Laura’s turn – Tyra says this picture is insane; pretty ugly – ugly pretty.  Rob loves it.  And social media was all about Laura this week.  She gets 10s across the board.  Someone’s going back to the Tyra Suite.  Here’s hoping Kristin isn’t around to join her.

Best photo: Laura

Staying:  Brittany, Alyssa, Kristin (ack), Kiara, Nastasia

Bottom Two:  Victoria & Yvonne

Going home tonight is Yvonne.  And she deserves to be going home tonight.  Nobody wants to work with a bitch… unless you look like Naomi Campbell.

Bottom Line:  Well, Kristin sticks around another week.  Not thrilled about that, but Yvonne needed to get the ax.

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America’s Next Top Model Season 19, Week 4 – The Girl Who Does What Tyler Perry Says

Posted on September 15, 2012 by | 1 Comment

I want my mommy!!!!

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  This whole Friday night thing is not working for me.  And I say this having stayed home last night.  So, clearly it’s not that my raging social life is getting in the way.  It’s more that my brain which functions a lot like a sieve these days never remembers it’s on until I see it on my DVR the next day. But I’m here.  I’m watching.  And I’m still trying to figure out how this show works.

Soooo… The girls arrive back home after Victoria’s big win.  She’s excited that the fans voted for someone with a Jewish & Native American background.  Say what?  Who do you think is watching this show?  But it doesn’t matter because her mind is truly focused on her mom.  Yes, her again. The girls are confused by Victoria and it doesn’t help that she wants the Tyra suite all to herself.  Welcome to the downside of home schooling your child – zero social skills.  The girls are also discussing the new twist where someone gets to come back to the show after being eliminated.  Personally, I think they’ve made this season so convoluted that it’s bordering on the ridiculous.  OK, it’s actually gone over the cliff plunging headfirst into ridiculous.

The girls think Kristin is in a good position since her social media scores are off the charts.  But she’s not interested in riding social media to the end.  All I know is that if people really are voting show to show (and not just on all the pics that are already posted) then you probably won’t have to worry about it for long seeing as how your ‘tude isn’t winning anyone over… especially one Miss Kiara.  There’s only one HBIC and that’s Kiara.  Too bad no one told Kristin.

And the love continues to grow as Kristin goes into Destiny’s purse without

I’m emotionally 1 year old.

asking.  Who does that?  I get that guys are sometimes too dumb to realize that they shouldn’t be digging around in a woman’s purse, but every girl knows that rule.  When she’s confronted by Destiny, she goes full throttle nasty and does everything to provoke her.  She says if she can get Destiny to slap her, she’ll go home which is one less person in her way.  This girl is charming.  Some of the girls want Destiny to fight harder, but I give her a shit ton of credit for taking the high road… Well, the road high enough where it doesn’t involve violence.  Nastasia on the other hand is ready to roll.  Kristin, not realizing that someone is going to take her up on her offer & whoop her ass, keeps pushing and pushing and pushing.  So, kiddies, who’s going to blow first?

Time for the challenge.  Too funny… I used to work in that building… Anyway, the girls meet up with Miss Tyra in Santa Monica for their challenge.  Tyra

Cheer for Tyler Perry!

reminds them that being a top model is more than just being pretty.  It’s kind of like acting.  Well, not really, but let’s play along.  With that, she introduces Tyler Perry who knows about transformation because of his Madea movies.  So keeping my mouth shut on that one because I do like him… Just not so much Madea. The challenge today is that each girl will have to transform herself into one of the following characters & interact with the people on the street – Hollywood Diva, Tourist, Superstar Rap Artist & Free Spirit.  The prize for today’s challenge is a walk-on role in a Tyler Perry movie.  Victoria gets diva and does some crazy British accent.  Things go very wrong when she runs after a guy with fried chicken who throws the food at her.  Yeah, again, welcome to no social skills.  She did handle it pretty well though & never broke character.  Kiara did her thang too.  Gotta give it to her.  Leila didn’t quite nail it.  Laura channels her daddy’s Dynasty days for her hippie performance.  And Yvonne really got her rap on as Chocolate Stang.  The name alone is prize-worthy. But Kiara wins the challenge and the role in Tyler’s upcoming movie.

Yvonne isn’t thrilled with the challenge results and her last photo so she’s looking for some words of encouragement from her friend at home.  She says if she wanted to be known for her ass, she’d take a picture and post it on Twitter.  Hey, it worked for Kim Kardashian… OK, she showed a little more… but still, don’t knock it just yet.

Time for the photo shoot at Universal Studios.  They are on the set of War of The Worlds with Johnny & their photographer, Ricky Middlesworth.  They are going to be shooting today as zombies.  Victoria didn’t quite get the “bad side” part of

You had better start voting for me or I’m coming for you.

the assignment, but I’m guessing that’s because she has never actually gone to the “bad side”.  Laura nails it, Nastasia photographs short & Alyssa needs to tone down the sexuality.  Resident sweet pea, Kristin, rolls onto set and tells Johnny that because of her make-up she can’t laugh at his… wait for it.. lame jokes.  Wow, are you trying to get sent home?  Or do you want him to punch you too?  Johnny’s not into her bitch shtick… You’re not alone, friend.  He still tries to help her out with some advice, but of course she’s too busy pouting to care.  Yvonne disappoints on set because she wasn’t working her curves.  Sadly, she’s fighting the one thing that sets her apart.

Back at the house, it’s time for the weekly warning about panel.  I guess Kristin was going to read the screen this week, but Victoria started to do it.  Need I tell you Kristin’s reaction?  No.  Destiny is nervous about panel because she has nowhere to go when she leaves.  Well, then methinks you might need to turn it up a notch.  Maybe drink a Red Bull or something & muster up some energy before you go onto a set.

Leila’s up first and the panel loves her.  So does social media.  Kiara gets the feedback that she looks like she’s in a movie not a model.  Brittany gets great feedback that would have been even better had she shown the make-up more.  Victoria doesn’t bring it to her eyes.  Destiny doesn’t understand what she has so she can’t bring it to the set.  Laura has a stunning photo minus the missing neck.  Kristin doesn’t look like a model and didn’t showcase the clothes.  She asks about ugly pretty and how she can do that… Well, maybe take that ugly personality of yours and bring some of it to your face.  Tyra was a bit more helpful.  The camera loves Alyssa’s face but she doesn’t look like a zombie.  Nastasia gets called out for not really being 5’9″ but still got a good photo.  Tyra tells Yvonne that she has to mix her experience as a character actress with her modeling.

Top Photo:  Laura – she also had highest social media score

Staying:  Leila, Brittany, Alyssa, Kiara, Nastasia, Victoria, Kristin

Bottom Two:  Yvonne & Destiny

Destiny is out tonight.  I’m bummed.  I like her.  I wish she would have brought it harder.  So off she goes to Competition Part Deux.  Maybe she’ll fare better there.

Bottom Line:  So, can someone please explain the social networking thing to me?  This show is pre-recorded right?  So the photos have already been voted on, yes?  And that means then that Kristin’s behavior will have no bearing on voting right?  It’s sad when ANTM is confusing.

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America’s Next Top Model Season 19, Week 3 – The Girl That Wants Out

Posted on September 8, 2012 by | Leave a comment

Yeah, you’re cute, but can you do this?

My Thoughts:

Rachel:  OK, I finally figured out that the show is now on Fridays.  I’m not sure how the CW thinks that’s a better night for rating, but who am I to say.   I mean the CW has made so many great programming decisions in the past… oh yeah.  I also did something rare and looked at the actual website to see how the fan voting goes.  Well kids, guess what?   That’s right, I think they screwed that up too.  They had pictures from all eleven weeks of the show already posted… First of all, why would you reveal the entire season’s photos now?  How is that any fun?  Second, how is it even possible that all the photo shoots are done already?  Am I missing something?  Can someone else go to the site and help me please?  Click here.

Anyway, let’s get back to the models and see if Victoria’s separation anxiety has subsided or if she’s the girl that “wants out.”  Back at the house and Leila is so happy she’s crying.  She and her new BFF Laura retire to the Tyra Suite.  Laura is happy to have access to the shoes but Leila shouldn’t expect any advice from her.  Yeah, you realize Leila is the one that got best photo, not you, right?  Methinks she’s not all that interested in that advice you’re being stingy with, Scrooge.

But who cares because it’s makeover time!  Oh yes, weaves and pixie cuts, tears

and drama – These are a few of my favorite things.  Everyone’s already scared about who’s getting the short hair.   Hopefully it’s whoever is going to behave the most badly about it.  Maria refuses to have her haircut before they even get to the salon.  So, first you’re a pain in the ass in panel and now you’re going to be a pain in the ass about makeovers.  For a smart Harvard girl, she’s pretty damn stupid.

Off they go to Christophe Salon where they meet Johnny & Kelly.  Kelly tells them that they will each get an envelope telling them about their makeover, and this year, they will get to choose whether or not they do it.  Oh not so fast, you

Starting to be a familiar scene.

don’t get to actually see what’s in the envelope first.  Let’s see who’s dumb enough to say no after Kelly tells them that this is what Tyra chose for them.  Well, clearly Maria is dumb enough.  Who else?  Victoria.  That one is less than surprising.  I’m pretty sure she’s going to end up in tears at some point about the decision.  Tyra shows up and sits down with Victoria & Maria.  Didn’t think that was coming, did you girls?  Victoria uses her Native American & Jewish heritage as her excuse.  Tyra ain’t buying it.  And this Jew here ain’t buying it either.  Tyra says hair is temporary and this is the industry you’re choosing.  She questions if you’re really right for it.  What say you, Victoria?  Sorry, I can’t understand you through the sobs.

Speaking of sobbing, Destiny is upset that she is going to look like a lesbian, which is interesting since she like girls… and boys.  Her sexuality doesn’t define her.  Well, and neither does your hair, sweetie.  Kelly is now asking Maria why she chose not to do the makeover.  Her deep Havard-like answer is that she didn’t want to cut her hair.  Kelly explains that no agency wants to represent a girl that isn’t flexible.  Well, Maria is already represented by an agency.  Oh don’t try and one-up Ms. Kelly Cutrone.  That never works out well for anyone.  Kelly offers her $10k for every national shoot this so-called pissant agency has gotten her.  Maria banks exactly $0, but does walk away with an earful of Kelly telling her that she’s committed to defending mediocrity.  Ha, amazing.  Too bad Maria is so high on her Ivy League status that she smirks at the camera as if to say, “What does this woman know about fashion?”  Hint:  A lot.

Ah lawd, here comes P’Trique.  I can’t handle this shtick for an entire season.  Cannot.  He has Tyra Mail and which has a lot of words about being exposed.  So everyone expects to be naked tomorrow.  Everyone also expects Maria to go home this week.  See here’s another nit I have with this voting shtick.  People have already voted on the photos, but wouldn’t seeing this episode affect their votes?  Probably.  Look Ty Ty Baby, you either have to leave out the at-home BS or have the elimination be on another night a la Idol and every other viewer-participant reality show.

Back at home Kiara doesn’t like Darian’s loudness and Darian doesn’t like Kiara’s… personality.  Aaaand a fight ensues about who is the real bitch.  You’re all real bitches, now go to bed.  I do love that Victoria is confused by the fight and wonders what the point of it is.  Yeah, there is no point, really.  All I know is that they can all be real bitches, but that’s nothing compared to being a Winey Bitch.  Ya heard?!?!

Time to shoot some photos.  They meet up with Johnny and photographer Tommy Duran.  Ooh, one more Duran and I’d have been very happy.  Turns out they are indeed going to be naked… and that nakedness is going happen with Rob.  Ain’t mad at that.  As the models get ready, Maria calls Kelly a c-word to Destiny & Alyssa.  Wow, this girl is awful.  Dare I say a twat?  You know if we’re using derogatory words for the womanly flower.  Meanwhile, back at the naked

No seriously, I’ll do ANYTHING to win.

shoot, I love that Rob gets to see all the girls’ boobs.  Judging has its privileges.  The girls are doing a great job until Darian, who struggled much to Kiara’s enjoyment.  Granted, she didn’t exactly light the set on fire, either.  But the biggest bomb is Maria, who doesn’t want the haircut, her boobs exposed or to be a model.  Great, don’t let the door hit you on your smug ass on the way back to Harvard Yard.  On the flip side, the other hold out, Victoria, does her hair curly like Tyra wanted and killed the shoot.

Even though Johnny was positive about Victoria’s shoot, she still has doubts about her place in the competition because she refused the makeover.  Cue hysterical call home.  The “oh mama” thing is just so weird.  The whole thing is weird.  Does anyone else wonder if she & her mom share a bed?  No, not in a sexual way, you sicko… In a really bizarrely codependent “I can’t be apart from you” way.  I’m saying yes.

Finally, panel.  Laura is first up and Rob says she looks like a Greek goddess and he looks like a Greek god if he doesn’t mind saying so himself.  Darian doesn’t fare as well.  Kiara doesn’t do any better with the social media, Rob, or Kelly, but Tyra gives her a 9.  Victoria is up next and apologizes for not doing the makeover.  Tyra appreciates it and the photo is two snaps in a circle.  Tyra’s words, not mine. Brittany gets love too.  Tyra doesn’t like Destiny’s hair or photo.  You see fear in her shots.  Rob tells Kristin that she’s difficult to work with.  Hee hee.  Leila gets Tyra & Rob love but Kelly wanted more woman.  Yvonne doesn’t want to be known for her booty.  Why not?  It works for J-Lo and Kim K.  Nastasia gets ok reviews.  Yvonne hits the high note and Tyra loves that she’s inhaling… Mostly because it’s totally the thing Tyra has been doing lately, so you know it’s way cool… and another chance for her to talk about herself.

Top Score:  Victoria

Staying:  Brittany, Alyssa, Leila, Laura, Nastasia, Kristin, Destiny, Kiara

Bottom Two:  Yvonne & Darian.  They have tie scores from the judges which means the fan vote decides it.  Yvonne slides through by .03 points and Darian goes off to the second-chance competition.

So wait, does this make Darian the real bitch now?  Or is that still Kiara?

Bottom Line:  I was about to say something about how Kristin was pretty mellow this week and then I saw the preview for next week.  Guess the mean girl couldn’t stay locked up too long.

PS – I really am not a fan of the social media voting.  I just don’t get how you can vote before seeing the episode.

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