Real Housewives of Orange County Season 8, Week 6 – A Star Is Reborn

One Sentence Summary:  Lydia steps into the spotlight left open by the absence of a storyline for Alexis.

My Thoughts:

Hmm... Must get a storyline.

Hmm… How to get a storyline…

Rachel:  As most of you know, it is pretty unlike me to do any research about anything that goes on on these shows.  If it’s not pumped out of a flatscreen into my brain, I don’t know about it.  I have a true appreciation for the blogs out there that take the time to be resourceful and come to you with breaking news and give you history about each of the show’s “characters”.  But to me, that’s just time taken away from wine; selecting wine, buying wine, drinking wine… whatever it takes.  So, it’s as shocking to me as it will be to you that I actually hit pause and did some research tonight.  I was curious to know what exactly was going on with Slade’s kid and I have to tell you, I’m heartbroken over what I’ve read.  Seems his son Grayson suffers from Diffuse Fibrillary Astrocytoma which is basically chronic brain tumors.  Makes me so sad to read about a child suffering in any way and I wish I could give him & his mom a huge hug.  But what I can do, and you can do, is support this sweet child by visiting his website: AmazingGray.org  or his Facebook page:  Amazing Gray.   OK, I should get to the show before I get any weepier and end up with a tear in my wine.  Salt, for the record, not a compliment to Pinot Noir.  The more you know…

It’s Your Choice

I'm actually competing in the 100-store mall dash.

I’m actually competing in the 100-store mall dash.

Rachel:  Heather, Tamra & Lydia are meeting for champagne and low-carb kobe burgers.   Yes, the only allowable carbs are the ones with bubbles.  Actually, I’m not mad at that.  Anyway, Heather is giving Lydia a shot at her friendship because she gives everyone a shot based on who they are and not who they hang with.  Saint.  Personally, I’d base the friendshp on that stupid thing Lydia has on her head.  What is happening there?  Is she going to a reenactment of the Ancient Greek Olympics?  And let’s be honest, Heather might… I said might… be there for pure reasons, but Tamra’s presence is to stick it to Alexis by stealing her friend the way she stole Vicki from her.  

Lydia bonds with the girls by telling the girls that her mom is a fan of plastic surgery and fairy dust.  Apparently, no one can have a bad conversation if they’re covered in said dust.  Um, ok. If that’s the case then I suggest someone air drop a ton of that shit all over Orange County.  Might as well hit up LA while you’re at it.

And finally, it’s time to talk to about Alexis.  This Lydia is pretty quick.  She gathers from the party that Tamra doesn’t much like Alexis.  Good deduction.   Tamra takes the opportunity to list the things that make Alexis a shitty person.  Heather says that everyone has to own up to their own crap, which seems impossible for Alexis.  Lydia agrees, but Alexis has been super nice to her.  And that’s why she is friends with Alexis.  Well, you’ll get through today because you didn’t defend Alexis’s behavior.  Way to navigate the shark’s tank.  Granted, Alexis probably won’t be super thrilled when she sees this and you’ll have to do some fancy footwork then.   Oh well, at least you have the Olympics.

Thou Shant Take Any Crap

The thrilling life of Jim & Alexis

The thrilling life of Jim & Alexis

Speak of the devil, Alexis and Jim get ready for bed while discussing Vicki & Brooks seeing each other this week.  Blah blah blah… Let’s get to it.  We know we’re here for post-Tamra recap.  Here we go.  Jim wants to know why Alexis would go to Tamra’s party.  I want to know why none of the makeup she’s wiping off of her face is actually coming off.  She takes partial responsibility for going in the first place, but she just felt like it seemed easier to make peace since they revole in the same social circle.  Well, you revolve in the same show.  That’s about it.  Alexis tells Jim that Lydia told her to continue to turn the other cheek when it comes to these women.  But that’s not what the scripture really means when it  comes to the point of taking abuse.  The gospel, according to Jim, is: don’t take any crap.  I’d love to hear the Ten Commandments in Jim-speak.

Stand Down

Do I look like I'm kidding?

Do I look like I’m kidding?

Ryan and Vicki are trying to figure out how to put a carseat for Troy in Vicki’s car.  Since it’s just the two of them, she takes the opportunity to check in with Ryan and make sure he’s happy in the house.  He thinks it’s different living with his mother-in-law, but it’s all good.  Vicki, on the other hand, is feeling a bit itchy.  Maybe you should talk to your lady doctor about that.  But Vicki is going to lay down some law.  She knows Ryan & Briana don’t care for Brooks but she would like him to respect her decision if she wants to see him again.  He thinks it’s his decision not to respect her decision.  This kid sucks.  Vicki would like the last part of her life to be about what she wants.  She wants the choice.  He says then they’re moving out.  Swing and a miss.  Vicki says, if that’s their decision, then that’s their decision.  Go, Vicki!  Nice to see you stick up for yourself.  Granted, I’m not a fan of Brooks either, but I think the reaction from Briana & Ryan is way off-base.  She says it’s a work in progress how this will go and asks Ryan if they’re good… three times.  He doesn’t answer.  Yeah, I’d be locking his stupid ass out of the house for the night.

Trees Are People Too

The credit cards don't come out until the fairy dust gets sprinkled.

The credit cards don’t come out until the fairy dust gets sprinkled.

We get to meet Lydia and her fairy-dust sprinkling mom.  She actually fairy dusts the salesgirl at the clothing store where they’re shopping.  I kinda love mom.  She’s a kook.  She’s a kook that smoked pot Lydia’s whole life.  But then there’s also grandpa who gets injections of gold so that he doesn’t get arthritis.  Now, this is a Christmas dinner I need to attend.  Lydia doesn’t think her mom should have been smoking pot her whole life, but at least she milked it for some good shopping.  Besides, things between them are good now.  Mom also has issues with shopping bags because bags are trees and she thought she was a tree growing up. Excellent.  Give mom a show.  I could watch this for hours.

Sigh…

But I don't want to be selfish and tell you how I feel so I'll tell you how I feel by telling you I don't want to tell you.

But I don’t want to be selfish and tell you how I feel so I’ll tell you how I feel by telling you I don’t want to tell you.

Slade and Gretchen… These two had better not piss me off tonight.  Slade is back from New York and the radio station is being cool about him being out of town.  Well, I should hope so.  Besides, there’s this newfangled technology now that can let you broadcast from a remote studio.  But what the hell do I know.

Anyway, Gretchen & Slade ended up staying in New York for about a week & a half because Grayson is still in the ICU.  Wait, his son is still in ICU and he left?  But he says he’s going back for… 4 days.  Gretchen thinks it sucks that Grayson is staying in New York and not coming back to LA yet.  He understands that it’s frustrating and that they still have to live their lives and go forward with the things they want to do, but his priority is Grayson.  Yeah, but Gretchen wants to have a kid, and she can’t have the conversation with him right now.  She feels selfish for being upset that they can’t talk about having kids now.  Well, because it kind of is.  His kid is gravely ill, not late getting back from Spring Break.  Slade says has to focus on his kid getting better.  Damn skippy you do.

And guess what, Gretchen, Grayson’s mom doesn’t get a reprieve from her son being sick.  She doesn’t get to leave the hospital for a week to host a radio show.  She doesn’t get to fly back & forth to see her weepy significant other who is feeling upset that her kid is taking up so much time when you have a life to get to.  You got it pretty damn good, so I’d suggest you drink a cup of STFU right about now.  But no, she tells us that she can’t think about having a baby right now if he can’t be happy about it.  Well, he can’t and it’s rather understandable.  Look, I get life goes on for you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t put this on hold until his kid is out of the woods.  And it’s not like Slade has shut you out of his world.  Be happy he’s still even acknowledging your feelings exist… trust me.  Be thrilled.

She’s Back

Wait, I don't actually have to go to Cleveland do I?

Wait, I don’t actually have to go to Cleveland do I?

Heather and Tamra, the new BFFs apparently, are shopping when Heather gets a phone call from Ben, her agent.  He has a role for her on Hot In Cleveland.  She doesn’t even have to audition.  It’s a straight offer.  Heather is super excited about the opportunity and she just knows that Terry will be supportive.  Pretty sure that means he won’t be supportive.  She’s calling him so let’s find out… And he is actually pretty excited about it.  Sorry for doubting you, Terry.  Jaded, party of one, over here.

Not My Problem

What's wrong with telling you that you shouldn't date other people, but can't date me either except for days when I can sneak out of the house?

So, I let Ryan put my house on 24-hour surveillance and monitor my friends.  How does that make me a push-over?

Now that Vicki’s laid down some law, she can go see Brooks – wearing her fur of course – with the cameras rolling.  Vicki got all dressed up for date night, and right now, I want to see her end up happy.  Right now.  She’ll tick me off soon enough and I won’t care again.

She wants to know what they’re doing.  He says, “Having dinner.”  Dude.  She wants to know if he’s dating other people.  After hemming & hawing, he says yes.  She says she’ll see other people then too.  He tells her that she basically changed the dynamic of their relationship without talking to him, and at the end of the day, he wants to be with someone that wants to be with him completely.  Can’t begrudge the guy that.  And I can’t begrudge the obvious anger he’s harboring either.  Vicki says she won’t kick out Briana.  He says then that comes with consequences.  It’s not his job to win over Briana.  It’s his job to treat Vicki well.  Well, it might be your job a little bit.  Granted, it would be a giant waste of your time anyway.  Vicki loves him but she’s pulled in two directions.  Brooks says Briana expected Vicki to accept her choices regardless of whether Vicki approved so why can’t Briana extend the same consideration.  Damn, that’s a good argument right there.  Well, Vicki, ball’s in your court.  Can’t keep playing the net and get anywhere.

No More Dazed & Confused

Ah, I can feel the sweet smoke swirling in my lungs right now.

Ah, I can feel the sweet smoke swirling in my lungs right now.

More kooky mom & Lydia.  Yay!  They’re out for a bite, which is a celebration of mom being pot-free for 3 months.  Lydia is happy that she now doesn’t have to worry about calling her to babysit and her being high.  She said she never would smoke around the kids.  True mostly because Lydia just never had you babysit.

Lydia thinks that part of what brought her to God was her desire her whole life for a normal family.  Religion gave her guidelines.  Mom still misses the ganja and the “land of bunnies”.  Lydia doesn’t get why you’d want to be in an artificial world.  Hey, God made marijuana so it is a natural world.  This is mom’s rationale.  It’s as much an altered state as taking an aspirin, man.  OK, that might be pushing it…. man.  I really want mom to start singing the soundtrack to Hair.  But mom made a commitment to Lydia, Sterling and Maverick to stay sober for them.  I kinda love the relationship these two have.  I know it wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows… well, maybe for mom… but I like what’s going on now.

Angry Spice

I told you Vicki was a bad choice for partner.  Well, I thought it in my head.

I told you Vicki was a bad choice for partner. Well, I thought it in my head.

I’ve been wondering what ever  happened to the Wines By Wives business Tamra & Vicki started.  Seems, they are still in business and moving into an office in the OC.  Well, Tamra and their partner Chris are.  Vicki, on the other hand, is MIA.  They’re supposed to have an event in Malibu next week, but it’s anyone’s guess if she’ll show.  Um, don’t you have a clause in your contract that can boot her for dereliction of duties?  Yeah, I know that’s a military term but it’s fun to say.

In Search Of A Sense Of Humor

OMG, how many times do I have to tell you that there will be no carbs ever in our home?

Heather, Terry and the kids are out to dinner and Heather wants to talk about how crazy her schedule is.  But first their daughter needs help with her math homework.  Dad says that’s his domain since he’s the math brain.  Mom’s insulted.  Change the subject back to Heather, quick, Terry!  He does and brings up her Hot In Cleveland shoot.  Yes, much calmer now that we’re back focused on her.  She says that he’s going to have to step up and do more with the kids.  This means changing his work schedule.   He makes a joke about just letting the kids stay up late and eat lots of sugar.  When he asks the kids if this sounds good to them, she blows a gasket.  Somehow this is disrespectful to Heather’s career and not at all helpful.  And his apology isn’t of interest to her either.  Why so cross, Heather?  Is the mere mention of carbs enough to send you reeling?  I’d like you please eat a brownie so that we can get back the girl we met last season.  I liked her.  I don’t like you.  And maybe spend less time with Tamra.  Just saying.

Bottom Line:  

Rachel:  Well, it looks like next week there is going to be fighting at the vineyard in Malibu.  Look, that’s my house of worship and I don’t really appreciate you disrespecting  the vine twice already this season.  Once in Heather’s wine cellar and now the vineyard.  Ladies, no.  Not good.

4 responses to “Real Housewives of Orange County Season 8, Week 6 – A Star Is Reborn

  1. I love Lydia’s mom. Smoke all the p-o-t you need if it keeps you making me laugh. That’s all.

    I was super uncomfortable watching Vicki asking Ryan over and over if they were ok. I’ve been a Brianna supporter in the past, but I thought Ryan was wayyy overdoing it. Ok, so you’re living (obviously for free) in her house and you have an issue with how she lives her life? No. Just no.

    Have I said yet that I love Lydia’s mama? I so love her.

    Sad about Slade’s son. I hadn’t googled yet and now I wish I had. Because he deserves being googled. And I’m so, so sad for that little guy.

    But Gretchen is talking about herself and her potential baby during this? Yes. I now hate you, too, Gretchen.

    Wow. Just wow. I wish my life could be portrayed like theirs. I want to be able to be there in real time to smoke with Lydia’s bunny mama and fight against Vicki being stupid and tell Heather to calm the hell down when she fights with her money bag.

    • Yeah, I’m saying if they fire the whole RHONY cast like they’re threatening, they could fill the slot with an entire show of Lydia’s mom.

      And pretty much, Gretchen is terrible. Makes me wonder now if all the rumors about her behavior while her ex fiance was sick were true…

      You should be able to link to Slade’s son’s pages from this story… Grab a hankie first.

  2. Heidi Klein Sant'Ambrogio

    “Lydia pops by Alexis’s and apparently interrupts her afternoon Cher impersonations.” LOL! This is from last week’s blog, but seriously cracked me up.
    I think it’s safe to say Alexia loves herself a little make up. I start growing a zit looking at her. I was really happy to witness her wash off the 7 layers of pancake make up, pull off the false eyelashes, scrub her eyebrows clean until I realized she wasn’t doing any such thing. What was really gross was when she put moisturizer over her freshly “washed” face. Yuck. Gretchen is a vile excuse for a human being. That exchange between Slime and Gretchen was obviously planned. Slade looked sincerely beaten up, as he should. Gretchen thought with her fake tears and talk of how a baby wouldn’t be fair, or whatever bull sh** she was spewing, she would appear to be the empathetic girlfriend. How selfish of Grayson to have his surgery in NY! Doesn’t he know that Gretchen was planning on him being in LA? I really don’t know how Slade could only spend a week and a half in New York while his son is in ICU. I get he needs the housewives paycheck to pay for medical expenses (doubt the radio gig pays much. He’s not exactly Howard Stern). But still. The comment about living our lives? Really? I predict we will see Gretch or an actor playing her on the show Snapped in about ten years. It’s the series about women who kill their spouses/partners for money.:) Brianna’s husband is a grade A ass hole. Um, let’s see. He’s living in a beatiful, large home, with a swimming pool and jacuzzi all for a grand per month. Boy’s got it good and he knows it. Vicki appears to be in a vulnerable place, and good ol Ry seems to see this. I loved when Ryan back peddled after Vicki told him they could move out if they didn’t approve of Brooks. I think Heather’s irrational bitchiness stems from hunger. She needs to accompany the “champs” with a large crusty baguette topped with some gruyere or Camembert. Or a huge plate of pasta. I’m not a fan of Terry, but I think he does a fine job of keeping Ms. Heather Paige Kent in the lifestyle most people will never know, so she should seriously STFU.

    • LOL… Yes, that make-up scene was zit-inducing for sure. I barely heard what was being said because I was so fixated on the fact that no makeup was coming off her face. Made me itchy.

      Gretchen & Slade deserve each other. I can’t begin to wrap my head around their behavior. The kid is in ICU and you’re whining about the location of the ICU? Say what?

      Ryan, scares me. He’s a class A control freak. I mean there are cameras set-up all over the house? Come on. You live in a gated community in the OC! Who is trying to break down your door?

      Heather is hungry, for sure, and now I’m craving Camembert & champagne.

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