Vanderpump Rules, Sn 1, Ep 6 – in 100 or more

Rachel’s Thoughts:

Alone again, naturally.

Alone again, naturally.

So Melissa is in Aruba eating fresh seafood and drinking yummy tropical drinks, while the rest of us suffer another week of Stassi, Jax and the rest of the brain trust that is Sur.  Somehow I think we all got the short end of this stick.  But being the sucker great friend that I am, I’m taking over her VP duties this week, while she lounges on a sandy white beach.  You may send her hate mail.  I know I did.  Wait, I mean those anonymous letters were from someone else.  Not me.  I’ve just been sitting here minding my business and blogging away.  Anyway, being the more verbose of the Winey Bitches, I most certainly will not get this done under a hundred words.  250 probably won’t suffice either.  OK, how about under 1,000? That’s still a stretch for me, but I accept it as a challenge.

A lot of words…

Kristen “acts”, Scheana “sings”, Tom “strums” & Jax models (that one is actually legit) as our aspiring stars show us they’re just passing through Sur on their way to greatness.  Stassi also has other pursuits & is a blogger for Lisa & Pandora… Sorry she’s a writer.  There’s a difference. Bloggers don’t reread what they write. Well, this one certainly isn’t going to now.  Lisa & her publicist want to talk happy hour press opportunities, but Ken would rather discuss the happy hour Jax & Laura-Leigh spent on the floor of a Sur bathroom.  Stassi & Scheana bond over salads, but Kristen rats them out because Stassi should be “working”.  Jax & Laura-Leigh continue their bathroom games. L-L is falling hard & Jax is just hard.  This doesn’t bode well for L-L & her babytalk.  Kristen & Katie spin and talk about missing Stassi.  Lisa calls L-L & Jax into a meeting to talk about their escapades.  They play dumb.  Well, they’re not playing, but they’re denying… and lying.  Lisa warns Jax about playing with L-L’s heart and with her restaurant. Katie & Stassi meet.  They talk and cry and cry and talk… then hug.  Frank bawled out a customer by threatening an “atomic melvin”, which is genius if you ask me.  Lisa is less amused & Frank is 86’d.  That’s restaurant talk for out.  Frank’s laughing about getting fired.  Stassi is not because now she gets to introduce her unemployed boyfriend to her parents (who apparently found the Fountain of Youth at the bottom of a vodka bottle).  Frank tells them he’s in commercial real estate so losing his job was a blessing.  Because you couldn’t just quit?  This dude is so Shady Von Shifty-Eyes.  Stassi was a goth nerd in high school until she got a chin implant and transformed into a model.  But “Meet The Parents” goes well because Franks isn’t a Democrat… today.  Ken buys Lisa a hot pink Sur car with a rumble seat. The Toms & The Ks have lunch & discuss Frank’s firing.  Tom Schwartz has the dumbest douchiest pair of sunglasses ever.  Most important part of that scene.  Frank regales Stassi with tales of his real estate successes & how he planned to get fired.  Then he insults her & her parents.  I think Frank might be a serial killer.  Fight ensues.  Stassi cries.  Frank calls her selfish and bails.  The sun has set on this couple.  God is apparently trying to kill Stassi.   Pretty sure God has much better things to do with his time.

Bottom Line:  

Frank, if that is really his name, might actually be one of the scariest people I’ve seen in a long time.  I mean, yes, most of these reality fools falls into the shallow and selfish pool, but I think he might actually be a sociopath.  I’m sure someone’s going to come along and tell me why he’s clinically not, but this is my story and I’m sticking to it.  Period.  And of course Stassi is going to take back Jax next week, because clearly she can’t be alone.

Photo:  bravo.com

9 responses to “Vanderpump Rules, Sn 1, Ep 6 – in 100 or more

  1. evilprincess1980

    I think stassi and jax are made for each other! They are both messed up human beings! Yes, laura liegh is kinda nutty and sounds like a mouse but genuinely I think she’s a good person. She should have known though it was too soon to be doin the deed with him! Everyone knew that jax would try to get back with stassi though. But, what does everyone expect losers are attracted to one another. :-)

    • The whole lot of them are ridiculous. I had dinner at the restaurant next to Sur the other night. Thought about going in for a cocktail just to see but couldn’t bring myself to do it.

      • evilprincess1980

        I probably would have just to see what it was like. Lisa seems to be a nice person she just has a lot of employee drama, which most employees wouldn’t deal with, but it makes for good TV.

      • Yeah, I have to come back to LA in the spring. I’ll probably swing by then. Do a little recon. I’ve heard that Lisa is there often. I’d be thrilled to catch a glimpse. She’s my fave Housewife by far.

      • evilprincess1980

        She’s my favorite housewife too! Very elegant!

  2. The Princess*Less Jaxass couple are grueling to watch… Honestly, these two are made for each other. Jaxson has a need to *take s**** from Nauseatassi . . This guy clearly has *zero* self esteem and absolutely no emotional connection to anyone…no one, zip, nada…not anyone. His loyatly is to his ego and opportunist personality. He is not believable even when he is trying hard to deceive everyone. Princess Nauseatassi isn’t happy unless she is blaming someone for her emotional disappointment with men in the world… IF this woman truly believed she was all that, she would turn on her heals and run as fast she can from Jax or Jason or whatever his name is. I mean really? She has to have someone to put down to be okay…a major control freak …truly no guy will ever do it right for this girl because she hates herself to pieces and though the *poor me* symdrome seems to get her through each day it is so Dysfunctional 80’s; Funny though, for as much as she complains that America hates her we NEVER hear her talk about what she needs to change – Wake up and smell the arrogance honey, you really need some humility…. Nothing is worse than an attractive woman that exudes *ugly* from the inside out… no matter how pretty on the outside, women like this remain repulsive to any man who has his s*** together because pretty women are a dime a dozen in LA… Women with class, dignity, a true sense of themselves as being unselfish givers in the world don’t act like this idiotic, spoiled narcissitic chick..with nothing to back it up. As I said, they truly deserve each other in all their pathetic self absorption! So yesterdays news…. NEXT!

    • I couldn’t agree more about Stassi. Actually I think all the women on this show are pretty petty and and immature. They just have a leader of the parade in Stassi. I was in LA recently and had dinner at the restaurant next door to Sur. I wanted to go in, have a drink & check it out. Couldn’t make myself do it. I prefer to leave it in the TV.

  3. Stassi’s parents definitely didn’t find a fountain of youth. They had the sceen filmed in room full of bright natural light. Her mom (who has been remarried twice since Stassi’s dad, and is still married to the third husband despite the fact that she spends her days getting wasted with her first husband) is nearing her 50’s, has had about half a dozen boob jobs, way too many lip implants, nose and teeth work, and regularly hosts ‘Cosmo’ (read Botox) parties at her house. It actually explains a lot about Stassi’s behavior. Look at what ‘normal’ was growing up. Poor thing!

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