One Sentence Summary – It’s time for a “family” meeting so they can vote GG in or out for good.
Rachel: So it’s judgement day for GG, eh? Is it bad that I’m hoping she gets the boot? I mean it’s not like she doesn’t deserve it, but shouldn’t I have enough sympathy for a person to hope they don’t lose all their friends? Probably, but in this case, I don’t. Maybe she’ll have a grand epiphany and realize the error of her ways. Maybe she’ll go to meditate with Asa and find a new zen place in her world. Or maybe I’m dreaming and know that she’s as bananas as ever seeing as how her one-month engagement has already been called off after claiming the relationship was “rocky”. Well, I will say she does make it an interesting ride so maybe they can keep her around for entertainment value. Or you know, because she has a contract and ratings go up when GG goes ape. I guess I should stop pontificating and start watching so we can find out what happens.
No Stone Unturned
Reza stops by Asa’s to give her a good luck citrine stone he bought in Brazil for her to keep with her during her performance at Persia Palooza. By the way, I can’t even begin to start commenting on the name Persia Palooza. It’s so hilarious and ridiculous that it seems too easy to make fun of. But more perplexing to me is do people actually just go around buying loose gems for the sport of it? It’s a lovely gesture, don’t get me wrong. I just am confused where the thought process is that says, “Hey, I think I’ll buy this cut piece of citrine as a token of my vacation.” Just curious. That’s all. Carry on.
Reza says he’s in a really good place since his trip to New York. We love hearing this. He’s feeling generous with these positive vibes so he thinks it might be time to take GG off ice and see what’s what. But before he can do that, he has to run it by Asa. This is a family matter after all. He says that GG has been dialing hin on a regular basis looking for a conversation and he thinks it’s time to hear her out. Asa is so over it all. She’s not even mad anymore. It’s not even an issue to her anymore. She’s just done. Can’t say as I blame her.
Too bad Reza expected her to agree to hearing out GG and has already set a plan into action, which is a dinner party at Sammy’s for everyone to come together in the name of peace. So, I guess Asa’s approval wasn’t really the linchpin. It was more a gesture than an approval, but he hopes she’ll come too. The dinner is 3 days before her performance and she doesn’t need that kind of toxicity in her life before her first live show. However, Reza’s pity for GG is compelling enough for her to concede. But she warns him that the first second there’s anything whack going down, it’s deuces for her. Werd.
Lilly and GG meet up for a pedicure and girl time. Record scratch… Wait, what? When did these two becomes buddy buddy? Is Lilly just that over having to hang with MJ that she’s decided to commune with the enemy? Oh no, seems I got it backwards. GG invited Lilly and since Lilly isn’t “judgmental”, she went. Hmmm, wasn’t she the one calling GG out to Reza after their first dinner together? Well, I guess they both could use a girlfriend. So, here we are.
The girls immediately bond over plastic surgery and their mutual love for it – natural looking plastic surgery, of course. Yes, because when I look at Lilly, the first word that comes to mind is, indeed, “natural”. GG, on the other hand, does manage to make hers look real, though I find it insane that she spent money to have her gums lightened. My brain can’t even process how that’s a thing. Do I really have to worry about my gums? I thought being concerned about the color of my labia was bad enough, but now my gums??? And yes, that is a thing too. Click here if you don’t believe me. But Lilly loves it and loves GG. After all, she is skinny & pretty. Hey, those are my only two qualifications for friendship as well! Oh wait, no. Mine are kindness and loyalty. Eh, close enough.
Of course, we have to talk about Asa so we can hear GG’s side. She feels like she’s tried to reach out to Asa to apologize but she hasn’t heard back. How is someone so spiritual going to shun someone like that? Well, probably because you attacked her physically. But GG is still hoping for a chance.
Asa is meeting with some dude named Andy, who, she tells us, is an international super pop star. I’ve never seen or heard of this guy ever. Never ever. I mean the Biebs is an international super pop star. This guy? Um, not sure I’m buying it. He looks like a bad Vegas act. And how has Asa never once performed live if she’s the Persian Pop Priestess? Not once? That seems crazy.
Anyway, Asa is recording her part of a duet they’re doing together, which will be performed live at Persia Palooza. She struggles a bit in the recording booth with her delivery which just further feeds into her insecurities. Not nailing her part is freaking her out about performing live. Maybe some nightclub gigs would have been a good way to start out. Just sayin…
Reza has decided to hedge his bets and meet GG before the Sammy dinner. Needless to say, it’s awkward at first. She has wanted to talk to him for obvious reasons. However her obvious and his obvious… not so much the same thing. She starts by saying she knows Reza has established a friendship with Asa so that’s why he’s taking her side. Oh girl, you so clearly don’t know this man, do you? Good thing he’s about to let you know that you’re headed down the wrong path before you get too far. He says it’s not about taking sides. He knows we all make mistakes, but he also knows that he would never raise a hand to a friend. GG says that Asa’s attack on Omid’s nose brought up a lot of feelings of her own from childhood. Reza thinks that she doesn’t need to act on every feeling she has by being a bad-ass bitch. Her being pissed all the time clearly isn’t working and she needs to let it go. Amen.
Reza says she has to humble herself enough to get a family dinner together and be ready to hear the truth about her actions. But she doesn’t know how much of herself she’s supposed to compromise. Well, I guess it depends on how much she wants these friendships. But what confuses me is that this was the perfect opportunity for Reza to tell her his real beef with her – the names she called him on Twitter – and didn’t take it. Why wouldn’t you take this moment to let her know that you stopped being her friend when she called you a South Beach crackhead and the turd that comes out when a Jew and Muslim have a baby? What happened to that rage? Asa Shmasa. This is the REAL issue… at least in my book.
Livin’ La Vida Loca
Oh boy, it’s Vida, MJ’s super scary mother. She’s upset with MJ because they haven’t had spent any time together all summer. She’s also upset because MJ didn’t pull her hair back today and it will start to frizz in this heat. Holy nagging mother! MJ tell her that this was the biggest summer of her life and she has reached a turning point with her therapist about her family issues. Mom says she needs to stop worrying about the past and just move forward. Yeah, because you’re the giant fail in her past. Don’t want that to keep coming up, do we?
MJ wants Vida to come to therapy with her. She tearily tells her mom that she wants to talk about how her not being part of her childhood has affected her. And being the loving person Vida is, she refuses. Then she tells MJ she was expecting a nice fun, lunch and walks out. This woman is a beast. How do you look at your child in that much pain and walk out on her… Oh right, because that’s what you’ve done her whole life. Why change now?
Vida Loca finally comes back in and says she’ll go to therapy, but MJ has to stop crying first. You’d think, by the pained look on her face, she’d just agreed to have surgery without anesthesia. But at least she’s going. I guess that’s the net net here.
Neama, a close friend of Lilly’s pseudo-boyfriend Ali, stops by her office to say hi. Oh and tell her it’s time for her to come back to practicing law. He would like to remind her that she’s almost 30 and it’s time to grow up. What a dick! Say what you want about Lilly, but she’s more successful at 29 designing bikinis than most people are… ever. Oh, I see. This business isn’t a respectable one and no Persian man wants to marry a woman who is not respectable. Well Neama, thank you for single-handedly perpetuating the negative stereotypes about Middle Eastern men in less than 60 seconds. Round of applause for this asshat. Personally, I think that much hair gel is not respectable. But hey, it’s America. Or is it Iran? I can’t tell.
His closing message to Lilly is that her choice in careers is probably what is keeping Ali from marrying her so maybe she ought to discuss it with him and do the right thing. Wow, Ali couldn’t manage to have that conversation on his own? He had to send his bully? But Lilly agrees to talk about it and thanks Naema for coming by. I’d have tossed him out on his ass and told him where he can shove the burka that he is probably stashing outside her office door.
Back Off, Bitch
Time for Vida Loca and Therapist Debby Harry to meet. It’s quite a contest to figure out whose makeup is more disturbing. TDH instructs both MJ & Vida to write down what they want from each other and then share their lists. Vida wants MJ to realize that she has her best interests at heart, to shop less and to find a man. MJ wants Vida to be less critical, give her unconditional love & stop disparaging her to her face. TDH tells mom that her list is the list you give your teenager; not your grown daughter. She also wants Vida to understand that their cultural rules don’t apply in America, where her daughter is living as an adult. She knows she wants to get back to mothering MJ for the years she lost. But to help her, is to let go of parenting her as a child. So they’re sent shopping and Vida is not allowed to criticize her. Not sure why shopping is the activity of choice, but hey it’s a step in the right direction. Maybe something got through.
Mike is worried about his “fat & lazy” friends MJ & Reza. So positive reinforcement isn’t the route we’re going here, I take it. He takes them to the park for some strength training. After making them run around like dogs off their leashes, it’s time to discuss the text everyone got from GG. Apparently she took Reza’s advice and requested a family meeting. Now, at what point does Reza let her know that he already set one up with Sammy? Reza gives Mike & MJ his sales pitch and says it’s now or never to hear her out.
Meanwhile, GG is at her therapist’s office getting some anger management help. She had been seeing someone about her anger issues since she was 12 and thought she had a lid on it, but thinks it might be time to get back into it. Ya think? This is the progress you’ve made in 20 years? I’m gonna say it’s not working. I mean I’m no doctor, but I’m still pretty confident with my diagnosis.
She tells her therapist about her attack on Asa. The therapist says she crossed a boundary in a fight that wasn’t about her. Well, there’s that message yet again. Are you hearing it yet, GG? Not everything is about you. The therapist now has GG “shuttle” between the two parts of herself that she needs to confront – the angry personality and the pushover personality. So we get to see her talking to all her different personalities. Seems her angry person believes she should be in charge and it’s all about winning. Her anger is her insecurity and she agrees she needs to make therapy a regular event. Now that’s a diagnosis I can agree with.
No Knives Allowed
It’s here. Family dinner. Time to vote GG in or out. I wonder if it will be a silent vote or if they’re going to discuss amongst themselves and then someone will tell her to pack her knives and go. But wait, there isn’t just GG beef on the menu tonight. Sounds like there’s a side of Omid beef with Mike as well. Omid has been going around talking smack about Mike, who claims he has never said an unkind word about Omid. So now we have to add that drama to the fight bill because Mike isn’t trying to have Omid walk in and pretend they’re BFFs. Fabulous.
Holy shit! Did MJ just arrive at a party on time? It’s a Persian miracle! Asa shows up too and for a moment I thought it was with a bare middrift. Whew, it is just a flesh colored panel on her dress. MJ on time and Asa showing up at all – maybe there is hope left in this world.
Finally, GG & Omid arrive. GG greets everyone… Everyone except Asa. Yep, she just walked right past her as if she wasn’t there. Are you not allowed to speak to her or acknowledge her until after the formal apologies happen? Is that the 2nd rule of Fight Club? If it is, someone should tell Omid because he’s over in the corner telling Mike how fabulous he looks. Dude, don’t fraternize with the enemy.
Sammy calls for dinner time, and as everyone is about to get their food, Mike throws some shade at Omid on his way to the buffet. He thinks the feather in Omid’s hair is lame (and it is) which gives him the perfect opportunity to launch into how Omid hears things that aren’t true. Yeah, I don’t know how we went from feathers to this, but we did. Mike drops his jab but then says he has nothing but love for Omid. Omid has nothing but love also. MJ, sensing that it’s less like love and more like hate, tries to remind everyone that they’re at this dinner for peace before it escalates into a fight. Good luck.
Mike asks Omid why he talked shit. Omid says she heard Mike was saying bad things about him so he responded in kind. Mike swears he never said anything and says he should have confronted him directly. This is not how Omid works. Mike tells GG that she should know better. This feels like aggression to her. Oh great. Here we go. Things start to get heated and, bada boom, bada bing, we’ve now got full on threats of ass kicking going back & forth between the guys. You know how the peacocking goes – insults get traded, chests get puffed, a lot of “bros” get dropped and threats of violence get thrown around.
As we’re waiting for fists to fly, Reza drops the best line of the night: Who invited the terrorist because someone is hijacking my peace summit. GENIUS!!!
Back at the Thrilla In The Villa, Omid has now threatened to stab Mike if he doesn’t get out of the house. So not only do you threaten to slap women, but you also threaten to stab people? Impressive repertoire. GG says the only person that is going to stab anyone is her. Oh this is getting better by the minute. So she grabs a giant knife and walks Omid out of the house. Um, is taking a knife with you a smart idea? Maybe this is a good time for your nice personality to talk to your crazy personality. Shuttle girl, shuttle!
After an appropriate amount of time goes by, Reza goes outside and brings GG back in. I guess Omid has left at this point. As she sits down, Asa decides that this party is too whack for her so she’s out. Deuces time, I take it. But before she goes, she tells GG that she doesn’t deserve her friendship, though I really think that was edited in from another clip because it sounded weird and we didn’t actually see Asa’s lips move. But GG does respond by saying she’s not coming here for friendship. The rest has to wait for next week…
Rachel: OK, I was actually feeling like Mike had made leaps and bounds in my book this season as far as proving his character. Then tonight happened. I’m not saying he was totally wrong, but that really was handled in the wrongest way possible. Now, everyone’s on edge and GG doesn’t stand a chance of making any headway. I have a feeling this dinner is only going to get louder next week.