One Sentence Summary: Collections for the working woman turns the workroom into a battlefield.
Rachel: It’s official. I’m back in. I’m so in that I found myself excited for tonight’s show. That hasn’t happened in a long time. Is it just me? Maybe it’s because I thought the All-Star season was so bad that this seems like high-art… I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m having fun and haven’t once felt the urge to make fun of Heidi. Oh wait, that’s not true. Sorry, I got carried away. But it’s time to sew. Carry on.
After the morning check-in at Atlas, the designers meet Heidi and the dreaded button bag on the runway. Helping her announce the challenge is one Miss Nina Garcia. The kids are scared. I’m excited. I love me some Nina. The challenge is to design a capsule collection for Marie Claire At Work that is editorial, but also functions in the real world. They’ll be working in two teams to create cohesive collections. And nothing says “joy” to these designers quite like the word “team”. You might as well tell them that they have to design a look that incorporates polyester, scrunchies & fannypacks. Add to it that the teams have to direct their own photo shoots and it’s a delicious recipe for disaster. The designers are stoked about the photo shoot, but let’s check in with them after and see if they feel the same. Winners get their looks published in the magazine.
Sonjia gets to go first. She picks Elena. Elena picks Melissa. Melissa picks Dmitry. Dmitry picks Alisha.
Button bag chooses Nathan as the second team leader. He picks Ven. Ven picks Christopher. Christopher chooses Fabio. This hurts Raul’s feelings. Fabio picks Gunnar, who doesn’t want to be on either team. That has nothing to do with being picked second to last. Nope, no sour grapes in that diva’s lunchbox.
There are an odd number of people so that leaves Raul. By default, he goes to Sonjia’s team. He’s feeling a bit like leftovers. Yeah, no one likes to be last on the kickball team.
And because there are uneven teams, Team Sonjia has to make 6 outfits while Team Nathan only has to make 5 to keep it fair. Oh I’m sorry. There are no team leaders this week according to Tim. So it’s Team 6 and Team 5. Man, that Tim is clever. The designers have one day to make their outfits. Yep, that’s it. Tomorrow is the photo shoot. Dayum. I hope there’s a lot of caffeine in that room.
Team 6 decides that they’re not going to each make outfits. They’re going to go with their strengths and make pieces. Alicia will make pants. Sonjia will make tops. Raul will make it difficult for everyone. Seems he’s not interested in that plan. He’s interested in not getting voted off. No one wants to get voted off, but you might want to play to your team’s strengths.
Team 5 is discussing their concept. They are going to do color and fall… Hence the catchy theme “Fall Into Color”. Gunnar is their team’s wild card and he’s not making them feel any safer when he starts throwing out words like “nautical” and “plum”. The rest of the team goes with jewel tones, which Gunnar thinks is so totally 80′s. Perhaps, but if that’s what the Lord & Taylor wall is featuring, maybe the 80′s are back…. again. Oh wait, they are and so are pops of color!
Back in the workroom after Mood, Elena realizes that she is missing a bag of fabric. She’ll use Dmitry’s heavier weight jersey, but will have to redesign her outfit. Crisis averted and they’re off… Oh wait, no they’re not. Raul is having another moment and still refuses to play nice with the other kids in the sandbox. Oh, he’s driving me crazy.
Finally, everyone gets to work and calm settles over the room. Wait, nope. No, it seems that Elena and Gunnar have joined Raul in the “not pleased” pool. And
here comes poor Tim into the inferno. He meets with Team 6 and feels like they’re on the right track. Team 5 has less to show Tim, other than their tropical prints in silk. It’s taking Tim back to the circus and Gunnar to the drag show. Not a great critique, though I do love a good drag show. Their love of silk chiffon earns them the nickname “Silk Chinfonnies”. Would have been much funnier if they had said “Silk Chi-Fonzies”. But hey, they’re not there for the comedy. I am. Elena definitely is not… Pretty sure there’s not a humorous bone in her body. Not a one.
OK, last week “fish whistle” was the best thing I heard all night. Tonight, the award goes to Dmitry who was trying to call Ven a “one trick pony” but called him a “one way monkey”. Bwahahaha… See, now there’s some comedy.
Time for the photo shoot. We assume everyone finished their outfits because they didn’t show us… Or did I miss a scene? It’s possible. You know how fuzzy my head gets when I’m not drinking. Each team gets 3 hours to get 3 photos for judging. Winning team gets their photos published.
Team 6 is being commandeered by Elena and everyone is ready to toss her out the window. I include the hair and makeup people in that. Team 5 butts heads a bit on the photo selection, but it seems like rainbows & lollipops compared to the drama on Team 6. Well, the drama on Team Elena Channels The Kraken.
Everyone makes it out of the shoot without bloodshed and returns the next day for the runway show. Heidi welcomes them and tonight’s guest judge: Joanna Coles from Marie Claire. I loves me some Joanna. She was the best part of the All Star season. Glad to have her back, even for a moment.
Let’s start the show…
Turns out the two teams have the same score. Being that it’s a tie, everyone is eligible to win… and lose.
Team 5 – Overall - Heidi likes the softer material that gives the working woman a softer look. Smart move. Nina thinks it looks like a collection. She loves Christopher’s skirt. He took a matronly print and manipulated it to make it interesting. Michael’s favorite garment is Fabio’s, minus the head wrap. Joanna commends them on clothes that look easy to wear. Ven’s suit could be worn young or old. Nina thinks Nathan’s look is unflattering. Heidi likes that is reflects another age group. Heidi doesn’t like Gunnar’s dress. It’s inappropriate to her. Her boobs look like a deflated souffle. Michael thinks the fabric choice makes the whole collection look older.
Heidi asks who’s the weakest link and it’s overwhelmingly Gunnar.
Your Bottom 6 – Overall - Nina thinks the collection is modern & has editorial touches; especially the blue dress. It’s a show stopper. She loves the trousers. Michael loves the blue dress and it’s believable at the office. He thinks the black ruffles on Raul’s top can overwhelm a woman. Heidi thinks they’re too much. Joanna says everyone needs a pencil skirt in their wardrobe. She just doesn’t like the ruffled blouse. Heidi loves Melissa’s dress & is happy she went for a vibrant color. She also loves Dmitry’s dress. Joanna says you can’t wear that if you’re in finance or the legal professions. Heidi disagrees. (Heidi has also never worked in the finance or legal professions.) Elena’s top is too much for the office for Heidi but Joanna thinks it’s wearable. Michael thinks everyone just did their own thing. It’s six separate things.
Weakest link – Both Raul and Elena get called out. In the waiting room, Raul says he hates her but she’s a great designer. Ha… If ever there was a back-handed compliment…
And the winner is…. Team 6 wins and gets their photos in Marie Claire magazine. Melissa gets the win for best outfit.
Going home tonight is Raul. I don’t think anyone’s surprised by this. He was on borrowed time as it was. As he bids a fond farewell to his colleagues, he makes sure that Elena knows that she is not included in that. He is the opposite of fond of her and requests that the other designers get her bleep bleep ass out of there. I can’t say I disagree.
I’d like to say more about my feelings of disdain for Elena, but I’m afraid she might actually hunt me down and hurt me. So, tonight, I remain mum. Perhaps next week I’ll have found my courage… it’s usually at the bottom of a wine bottle. I think that’ll be the first place I look.